Home › Forums › Open Discussion › Not looking good for Woody Allen
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February 8, 2014 at 7:14 am #610407
ellenaterMemberLots of stuff going around, but this sealed it for me:
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/02/woody-allen-sex-abuse-10-facts
February 8, 2014 at 7:41 am #804182
JeannieParticipant“There are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.”
February 8, 2014 at 8:55 pm #804183
dobroParticipantFebruary 8, 2014 at 9:55 pm #804184
BreezyParticipantI’m going to go outside my comfort zone here.
First, let me say I don’t make a habit of following celebrities lives/issues because I just don’t give a shit. Oops, can I say shit here?
In a nutshell, an adult has come forward with allegations of child sexual abuse by a parent, only to have their story dismissed as fiction. Since I have not ‘kept up’ with the entire story thread in the news, forgive me if I am incorrect.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who had been abused by a relative for many years. She told no one, fearing the perpetrator. She grew up, married, and had children of her own. Because of a very helpful therapist, she realized she no longer had to pretend to like this monster and proceeded to cut ties.
When forced by another family member to ‘give up’ the reason the one was being ostracized from her life, she wrote a letter for his eyes only and stuck it in the mail.
Where then he made copies, showed all other family members and workplace pals, claiming his innocence and how could she spread such rumors?
So now, instead of fixing things between 2 people an entire family now knew and focused on the woman, calling her a liar.
Why in God’s name would anyone make up something like this and put themselves through more agony?
I am now free. I wish the same sense of freedom for all who have been abused.
February 9, 2014 at 3:10 am #804185
angelescrestParticipantBreezy, you are so brave! We hear you; many of us carry around those deeply-etched scars made worse by unbelieving/unsupportive families. This family can live w/out partaking in another Woody Allen film, and we celebrate your freedom and hope that it empowers others.
February 9, 2014 at 5:44 am #804186
ellenaterMember“Why in God’s name would anyone make up something like this and put themselves through more agony?”
Exactly. People want to believe that Mia implanted this in Dylan’s young mind, and they refuse to actually read the evidence. This story being made public is the best thing for abuse survivors. These stories have been systematically repressed for years, along with victim blaming, and not enough progress being made in abuse prevention. We can’t stop this epidemic, and it is an epidemic, until we face the reality, which is: 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men, before aged 18. It’s uncomfortable to talk about but so necessary.
Thank you for sharing your story, Breezy. I agree with angelescrest!
February 9, 2014 at 7:20 am #804187
JoBParticipantBreezy.. my heart goes out to you
we can hold hands in the dark together having walked the same path
one thing i have discovered in this life is the astonishing number of women who walk this path with us.
February 9, 2014 at 7:20 am #804188
JoBParticipantBreezy.. my heart goes out to you
we can hold hands in the dark together having walked the same path
one thing i have discovered in this life is the astonishing number of women who walk this path with us.
February 9, 2014 at 9:37 am #804189
metrognomeParticipantA lot of males have walked that path as well.
February 9, 2014 at 2:44 pm #804190
anonymeParticipantBreezy, thank you for your story.
IMO, it is not Dylan’s words that condemn Allen so much as his own actions.
February 9, 2014 at 8:19 pm #804191
BreezyParticipantSome of you may remember the case of winery executive Gary Ramona in the 1990’s. His daughter confronted him with accusations of repeated sexual abuse which he of course denied.
He accused her therapist of implanting false memories. Many similar cases followed.
The media coverage of this gave power to my abuser who tried to convince family and others this is what I was guilty of – false memories. Allen is going to try and do the same damn thing.
I had never forgotten. I will not ever forget. If I was an artist, I could create a short filled with pain and loss. My therapist, whom I was seeing about an unrelated matter, was the first person I had ever told, other than my husband.
I wish my mom had never been told this happened to me. She felt at fault, and she wasn’t.
@anonyme, I agree. His actions send a clear message.
@metrognome, sad but true. Abuse is an equal opportunity hurt.
@JoB, you are correct. I still remember my therapist’s words after relating my family history to him. I said, ‘pretty messed up family, huh?’ He replied, ‘Yours is not unlike so many others.’
@ellenater, agreed. Data + evidence = truth. Hard to talk about as adults, and even harder to talk about if you’re a child. I don’t think I knew the words or how to even tell my parents what was happening.
@angelescrest, I’ve never liked Woody Allen and it’ll be no problem for me to avoid his films.
@Jeannie, couldn’t put it better.
One of my favorite proverbs, on my educator business card:
“A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.”
Make your mark a gold star :)
February 12, 2014 at 12:56 am #804192
ellenaterMember@metrognome: 1 in 7 for boys! I would think it would be harder for boys to report due to the whole “be a man” thing…
February 12, 2014 at 3:02 am #804193
metrognomeParticipantellenater — you’re right about the ‘be a man’ thing. Another issue is that the abuse is often covered up the institution that employs the abuser, whether he is a religious figure, coach or volunteer.
here’s an interesting article written from a male’s perspective; I think the headline is easily misinterpreted, so don’t let it deter you from reading the article.
http://gawker.com/woody-allen-is-not-a-monster-he-is-a-person-like-my-f-1518291644
February 12, 2014 at 7:54 am #804194
ellenaterMemberYep. I read that. It’s very good. I read another one from a male survivor perspective too but can’t find the link right now. :( Still looking…
I also agree with his perspective, somewhat. The thing about the rates of abuse being so high: it means that the rates of abusers are also that high, or nearly!! Since it is such a systemic problem, obviously we are not dealing with it correctly. And since studies show that untreated abusers abuse, it makes sense to focus on treating people rather than shaming people. I have to say that I have read a lot of impressive discourse on this, by a lot of different people. I will post that other link when I can find it…
February 12, 2014 at 8:08 am #804195
ellenaterMemberStill looking… but I did find two others that I thought made good points, in case anybody is interested:
http://thenewinquiry.com/blogs/zunguzungu/woody-allens-good-name/
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