Re: does killing the messenger change the story?

#786569

JoB
Participant

i don’t think it’s any secret that i think it is good to be outspoken…

but it is also good to remember that we are all people who may disagree about ideas and still basically like one another…

the consensus seems to be that there should be zero tolerance for personal attacks .. and we all know we shouldn’t do it..

but the inclination is to take what is said personally and too often to make personal attacks on individuals instead of countering their ideas.

i will confess i have written and re-written many post multiple times before finally finding a way to reply that doesn’t blatently violate that rule…

contrary to DBP i don’t think there is much of a culture of censorship here… individual posts are generally removed for purpose…

like him however, it bothers me when i spend a fair amount of time crafting a reply that does not violate the rules, only to see it disappear wholesale in a culled or closed thread…

but i honestly don’t see what can be done about that without requiring the editors to spend an enormous amount of time sifting through the individual comments… and i for one would much rather they spent their time in more productive ways…

the question i had in mind is more what do we as a group think is the most effective response/non-response to a personal attack?

should we confront the bad manners of the attacker?

should we counter ideas and ignore the personal attack?

should we walk away from out keyboards for a day or two while the whole thing goes away one way or another?

i know what i want to do.

i know what i have tried in the past.. and to be honest i have tried every one of those tactics including leaving the room for a few days…

LOL.. i don’t know what worked better for you all…

but unless i can find myself a hot springs to soak in… walking away for a few days doesn’t really lower my blood pressure much.

and that’s an issue lately :)