Blog forum etiquette needed

[pattilea]

Spot on Spring Chicken!

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[JanS]

I am appalled that people still think, in their oh, so Christian way, that’s it’s OK to talk about someone else, making it personal, who posts on here. Spring chicken, I don’t know you, Pattilea, I don’t believe we’ve ever met. Infrequent Commenter…same for you…you’ve never met me in person. But it’s perfectly OK to call people bullies, call them, in a way, psychologically unsound? In essence, character assassination? And we’re just supposed to disappear and “take it”, not come back at you? How dare you all….who’s being the bully here. I apologized to Mr. Seeking Euros more than once…but, oh, no, that’s not good enough. And then start to call out the owners of this forum and blog? Wow, just wow.

Who’s being the bullies now? Ask yourselves that.

Until you actually meet me, I am suggesting, no, I’m requesting, that you do not talk about me as if I’m not in the room again on here. Talk about yourselves and how damned perfect you all are, because you certainly act that way.

I just came from a wedding that was wonderful, full of love, full of kind non-judgemental people. I will not let you all ruin this day and the happiness for these two men who wed each other today.

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[dyn99]

Interesting post…interesting enough to get me to respond, which is rare these days.

The forums have become devoid of unique thought, interesting debate, and multiple contrasting perspectives that generate new ideas and get people to re-evaluate their pre-conceived notions.

I’m not sure how it happened, but it did. It’s been months since I contributed because there’s rarely anything worth contributing to. At some point, all the people who had interesting things to say just stopped contributing. I miss the epic debates with Redblack.

The calling out of the J’s is probably fair although in poor taste. I have wondered from time to time why they spend what seems like most of their free time writing responses to crap that nobody cares about. The responses are fairly predictable, and over time you learn to just skip over those posts. But it’s a free country (or so we’re lead to believe), so they can do what they want.

Snarky responses come with anonymous forums. If you don’t like what someone has to say, then ignore it. Or tell them to go fly a kite.

Once you realize that you are playing in TR’s game (the rules of which vary somewhat from time to time), you’ll just accept that it is what it is, since it’s out of your control. It may be unfair and demotivating, but it’s her gig, and we have to respect that she gets the final say over what she allows on her site, whether we think it’s crap or not.

/Endpost. Back to the much more exciting topic of watching my 3 month old figure out what his hand looks like and eating the wonderful dinner my wife is cooking. Both of which are much more important than this.

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[JimmyG]

I too have stopped posting as much on WSB. The finger wagging and lecturing got predictable and redundant. I recommend the “Ignore” button though, it has made the few times I do pop in to the forums much more enjoyable as I don’t even see the posts made by the three posters I’ve used that button on. In the end this is TR and Patrick’s site, it’s their choice how they run it, and I appreciate the news side of WSB. However the forum section has jumped the shark IMO.

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[JanS]

dyn99…do you know me, have we ever met?

“The calling out of the J’s is probably fair although in poor taste. I have wondered from time to time why they spend what seems like most of their free time writing responses to crap that nobody cares about. The responses are fairly predictable, and over time you learn to just skip over those posts. But it’s a free country (or so we’re lead to believe), so they can do what they want.”

Yes, that goes for me, and for you, and almost anyone who posts on here. I requested to be left out of the conversation, for me not to be talked about. Frankly, the OP posted about the etiquette on the forums, and then a whole list of people start calling others by name, saying “bully”, intimating they are not mentally sound, etc.etc. You wanna play by the rules? Then do it! Talk about the post, not the people posting.Period. Or does that simply not apply to you all?

I’ve been coming to this forum since it began, and I have never, ever called out someone by name like that. And you think bad of me? Maybe you all are hoping that if you do it enough I, and maybe JoB, will simply disappear. Good luck with that. But I will remember the names here, and I doubt I can ever take any of you seriously again. I guess the rules just don’t apply to you.

AGAIN…leave my name out of it , please !!!

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[singularname]

Interesting. Checked out the perceived offensive threads. I disagree. They flow like conversations: many heated, many more not heated.

“The first principle of a free society is an untrammeled flow of words in an open forum.” –Adlai Stevenson

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[sam-c]

sorry, I stopped reading at post #6. but the comments I read here on WSB are tamer than anything else I read on the internet. I don’t dive very far when I see comments that make me wonder about the future of humanity…. (elsewhere). while I find that I don’t agree with everything posted here and roll my eyes at some comments, I just scroll past and click on over to something else. though, I would get annoyed if I asked for honest recommendations and got a bunch of sarcastic, snide comments (re: housekeeping vs. housecleaning) though I didn’t really read very far into that one since I can afford neither. (though I wish I could!… )

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[Trisket]

The ladies doth protest too much, methinks.

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[mark47n]

So many of the comments here are protesting the rude or snide comments here, but the content of many of the aforementioned comments are also loaded with personal attacks which is a violation of the rules and “etiquette” that so many of you claim to want. Perhaps it’s getting to be time for TR to clamp down on this particular thread, as she’s done before, when things turn personal.

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[JoB]

trisket..

one might ask how i should take your remark?

was it friendly advice that if we ladies just let it go it would all blow over?

i wish that was so.

or was it meant to be demeaning?

that’s the problem with internet posts

the posters intent is so often misunderstood.

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[waynster]

You poor people who think that two women can change your world and wreck your day all on what they have to say….Do you live in a bubble… from what I have read don’t go out in the real world its even meaner…..Don’t change the TV off the Disney channel….I can all ways pass out the pacifiers to those whiners or pass out some cheeses or ask did you live in San Francisco…. Jan And Job don’t let theses bullies keep you from posting your opinions on life and politics….oh and if you all don’t like what other people opinions are don’t ask for it and don’t read it….

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[MrJT]

JoB- I re-red Triskits post several times and do not see your name mentioned there. What was it in his/her post that made you assume it was directed at you? Guilt?

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[JoB]

MrJT

when i bathed this morning i reaffirmed for myself once more than my equipment certifies me as female.

while i will admit to some disappointment at being consigned to a role in society that is not even separate but equal…

i felt no guilt.

Nor do i feel insulted by someone who trips over the point but doesn’t get it.

i am sure somewhere there is a cheering section that just raised their beer in honor of the point they all think you scored. WaHoo ;->

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[JoB]

I reserve the right to be the feisty opinionated little old lady that my years of experience on this planet have earned me.

and i don’t really care who doesn’t like it.

or who thinks i am holier than thou because i walk my own talk.

I play by the rules here…

as a result i end up censoring myself myself regularly… it’s often very difficult to stick to the issues and not comment on the horse arse that presents them… but i do my best.

i think it would be so much more pleasant if everyone else did too.

but then..

that might be just a touch too much to ask

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[MrJT]

JoB – Your shower activities are TOO PERSONAL. Could. Not. Read. Any. Further.

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[FionaEnzo]

Now we’re getting our sense of humor back. Ahhhh. We run the risk of becoming too self-important as soon as humor goes.

I came from a larger city several years ago — I’m grateful that it taught me to appreciate quirky people. The spice of life.

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[TanDL]

Oh boy! Tried to stop myself but just can’t seem to… https://westseattleblog.com/2014/09/west-seattle-based-free2luv-joined-by-seahawks-for-anti-bullying-billboard-campaign/

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[dhg]

The housekeeper thread was not hijacked, IMHO, it was kept at the top of the list by silly posts. It was seen by more people as a result. SeekingEuros’s message was not lost and if it was not effective it was not because of the J’s. I would be more inclined to blame it on thriving economy and the OP’s frightful 4 pages of directions.

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[dcn]

First, let me say that I love the WSBlog. I love knowing that when I hear persistent sirens or choppers, I can look to the Blog to tell me why. I love finding out about community events and have attended many that I never would have heard about without the blog. I love the news articles and coverage of issues specific to West Seattle. I love being able to relax at the end of the day and read the stories, and if I’m interested enough, read people’s comments about the stories, or the interesting discussions in the forums.

.

I’ve lived in several other Seattle neighborhoods, and none even come close to having the treasure that is the WSB. I also depend on the forums for recommendations, and have personally found a local handyman, haircutter, vet, plumber, cell phone carrier, and pre-school through the reader recommendations.

.

So maybe that is why my hackles went up a bit when Seeking Euros, who only wanted to find a housekeeper, had his thread hijacked. When he expressed annoyance after the second “wife” comment, things escalated. I think the posters of the wife comments became defensive at being called on what they saw as a light-hearted joke, and the strand went downhill from there. It became personal and hurtful for everyone involved. I commented because I felt bad that what had been a request for help morphed into something else entirely.

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I do not think there are bullies on the Blog. I just think it is too easy for the written word to be misconstrued when the tone and the face is not behind it to mellow the delivery or give context. I think it’s a shame if people stop reading the Blog due to this, considering all the wonderful things the Blog provides for this community. I just stop reading the comments when certain strands go off-topic or become unpleasant.

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[HappyOnAlki]

Not reading the WSB because of comments in the Forum is like not reading the New York Times because you don’t like the crosswords . . . .

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[JanS]

thank you, dhg and dcn :)

Oh, and Mr JT..when the “women” are mentioned by name on here, what other reaction would someone have to Trisket’s post – lol….?

TanDL…I saw the story on the front page…and paused to really think what actual bullies are. They cause harm to so many people, especially teenagers, and even younger. Hope that the campaign successfully opens a lot of eyes to the problem.

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[JoB]

MrJT

you shower?

i bathe.

i am assuming neither of us does so in public

it’s not that i have anything against public nudity

but i think i wouldn’t have quite the demand as an artists model as i once had :(

what i find too personal is when someone chooses not to bathe…

ewwww

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[Infrequent Commenter]

Dyn99 –

Yes indeed! I’d (almost) forgotten RedBlack until you mentioned them! And there were some epic debates.

Your post was very much appreciated and got me thinking:

First, there is a difference between a post that is looking for a debate (open ended philosophical question such as What do you all think about…?) and a simple post looking for a referral. Yes, indeed, if someone posts an open question then they should, in fact, take what they get with no complaints.

But the response to the request for referral shows a shift in the culture of the forums; a shift that many feel is just a shame. A handful of commenters basically just want to hear themselves talk (or the written equivalent..) to the detriment of simple requests and general discussion.

To be clear, this isn’t changing my world or even wrecking my day. I originally spoke up on the housekeeper thread because I’ve witnessed this steady decline and felt it needed to be pointed out. My life can easily go on with or with out the forums; I just feel it would be nice if someone could look for a service without a lengthy, unnecessary debate or implications that their household structure is somehow wrong. It seems like that was what the publishers had in mind when they first set up the forums, anyway.

IMO, the forums, and to some extent the comments on the general stories, are now suffering from a case of excessive background noise. Simple requests are ignored or dragged into debate, while actual debates are watered down with off-topic, oversharing, and sometimes rambling posts.

No set of rules can fix that. Stimulating, useful conversation is sometimes fleeting.

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[Infrequent Commenter]

JimmyG-

I second everything you said!!

And I do really, really appreciate the news put out by the WSB!!! A big thank you to the publishers.

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[au]

I thank the OP for posting. I have been thinking about this issue for a bit now. We are always talking about our freedoms and rights but I don’t hear much about the other half of that equation, responsibility. Don’t we perhaps have a responsibility to ourselves to NOT say rude snarky things to each other?

I am hesitant to post my thoughts on these forums at times. I know now that my differing opinion will get some pretty negative sh*t sent towards me that is personal and not directed at my ideas. So now I only post on mundane stuff that’s not too controversial. And dogs are definitely off the board. People go ape sh*t over that topic.

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[Author]

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