Blog forum etiquette needed

[kgdlg]

While I can appreciate the OP’s concerns, I don’t think the issues he is raising are TR’s fault. WSB has always said that they don’t have th resources to monitor every thread in the forums so can only police when flagged, which is way MORE than any other blog or news site in town does. I am very thankful for the rules they have established here, which are exactly why as many participate as they do.

What we are bummed out by is human nature when in an anonymous space. I felt this acutely when I posted last year about the red light camera at OLG. I wanted to have a conversation about not only the legality of it but also the larger “big brother” implications. Instead I was basically called a reckless driver who was encouraging the deaths of more kids. Seriously. I was going 26 mph in a 20 zone.

Since then I don’t post much. And I am sure I have been on the other side. I know I have gotten pretty heated on here at R 74 and anyone who thought I should not be able to marry my now wife.

We are humans and so fallible. But it is hard to experience that in a space like this, with no concept of who is on the commenting side in real life…

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[Cait]

I feel like people have a hard time on here knowing when to just STOP. Constructive conversation can turn VERY quickly into judgement of ones neighbors in ways that you would NEVER articulate to someone’s face. What people forget, often, is that these people who are nameless and faceless to you on here are all here because they are your neighbors. The person you are berating on here for their opinion could be your checker at the store… you just never know. You’d think that would stop people in their tracks.

I don’t understand why people think that hearts and minds can be changed on certain topics. Often these start as “rants” that are almost never useful and are frequently very harsh. I have thought to myself many times “I should really make a post about this on the forums” – but I can tell you with 99% accuracy what kind of response it will get every time. And it’s never worth it.

I feel like we should all take an oath before setting up an account on here:

I understand that no one is ever going to stop biking because it inconveniences you.

No one is ever going to change the way they parent because of your anonymous rant.

I understand that no one is every going to stop loving their dog because you b*tch about them.

I understand that there isn’t an argument that excuses having a dog offleash that satisfies people.

I understand that we all care about the ducks at Lincoln Park.

If I don’t like certain users on the forums, I will utilize the ignore feature.

And I shall think of all of these bullet points before I post.

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[Cait]

Anticipated negative, sarcastic reaction:

“Oh so I guess we should all just think like CAIT does! That would solve everything!”

One step ahead of ya, keyboard jockeys! :) jk

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[seaopgal]

I don’t think the MAIN intention or goal of most people participating in this forum is to change other people’s minds or behavior. As in most things we do in life, it’s more about ourselves — to express ourselves, to reinforce our identity, to fulfill our own needs in some way. Some people post to amuse themselves or in hopes of amusing others. Some post because they are bored, some out of a need to be helpful. Some love to argue even if both sides are entrenched, some just like to rant (or less often to rave). But I think we mostly want to show that we exist and that someone, somewhere is listening to us.

We all want and need to be heard … the worriers, the snarlers, the snarkers, the dour, those who use ellipses with abandon, the moderate, the logical, the starry-eyed optimists, those who can’t resist a lame joke, the materialistic, the NIMBYers, the self-righteous, the altruistic, the mediators, the [fill in the blank] … and I, for one, think we all deserve to be heard (or at least to speak).

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[PLS]

I think there are two key points in response to the request for etiquette.

First, TR and the WSB are in no way responsible for comments in this forum. It’s downright silly to say you don’t read the blog or would pull sponsorship because of something that was said or some people who post in this section. I think much of what is said in the forum is malarkey and those who write it akin to the grumpy judges on the Muppets. But I follow the news and features of the WSB with zeal and depend on it and I have no desire for the blog to waste time policing what is a general public discussion.

Second, and most importantly, the internet is a diverse and often brutally honest place. Starting a discussion here, or in any forum or comment section of a news site or elsewhere, you have to be open to divergent thought. People will – quite likely virulently – disagree with you and say things that may sting. If you want a private conversation with like-minded posters, there are other venues. Posting here is more like standing on a public street corner shouting across the road at friends. Other people can, and will, join in. It is part of two edged sword of free speech. We can learn from it – I certainly do. Most often I learn what NOT to do and how I do NOT want to be and speak, but I learn nonetheless.

That being said, I do think it would be considerate if heavy users of the “Send Post” button self-moderated a bit. The house cleaner post – really? Lighten up. It was a legitimate request for recommendations posted in the “reader recommendations” section. You want to quote rules? See the sticky post there that says it’s to receive “recommendations about specific types of services and businesses in West Seattle” not judgements. If SeekingEuros had posted that in the general discussion perhaps the ensuing discussion would have been warranted. But not there. Don’t have something constructive to add? Move on. In the same way people are encouraging readers to ignore comments from certain folk, a number (not just two jays) could just as easily ignore some questions or topics. Not every topic has to have your input.

Just like on the street corner – even though you CAN jump in the corner conversation about the weather and tell the guy wearing plaid pants with a polka-dot shirt he’s got poor fashion sense doesn’t mean you are obligated to.

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[Barry2012]

I’ve followed this discussion carefully and completely agreed with OP’s thoughts. The housecleaner discussion was hijacked and the suggestions that some did (finally) offer were overrun with banter and unecessary commentary. I use the blog for advice and suggestions mainly, and I find that regardless of the post, we have the same people that responds, which is OK, as long as its constructive.

I’ve thought about how to articulate a response correctly, then I read the response from PLS. It took the words out of my mouth… “Don’t have something constructive to add? Move on.” Should really be the take-away from this discussion.

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[2 Much Whine]

Excellent post PLS (post #55). This thread reminded me that different people use the blog for different things. I see from past posts that SeekingEuros uses the blog as a very practical source of information. Questions asked and answered. That’s perfect for SeekingEuros. I find that the blog can be a great source of information.

Some folks like to express their opinions and that is great for those folks but apparently many of “us” don’t really care about any opinions that don’t align with our own.

I often can’t resist a little attempt at humor and that’s probably pretty annoying for those posters that are just looking for answers or recommendations. I guess the recent poster looking for a baby photographer probably didn’t appreciate my response that baby photographers don’t have the manual dexterity or visual acuity necessary to take good pictures and they should look for an adult photographer instead. My post did not help. At least it wasn’t malicious.

With that in mind, I’ll be more mindful of the value that my comments add to the conversation and I’ll pause before hitting send. Perhaps that’s an approach that would work well for others.

I will not, however, quit reading the WSB as others have suggested – my connection to the local community would be greatly diminished.

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[JanS]

PLS..thank you, I think. I am trying to live by what I say…”Just because you can doesn’t mean you should”. It could probably apply to everyone. :) At 67, life is still a learning process, eh? :)

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[sam-c]

PLS, thanks for your post # 55. well said.

I guess I would ad to my previous post that I did read some of the housekeeper post, and rolled my eyes regarding the ; “what you are really describing is a wife…” really? is this the 40’s?

2muchwhine: I read your baby photographer post back when you wrote it and it gave me a chuckle, FYI. but I didn’t mention then cause I didn’t want to further disrupt the request for a recommendation.

oh, and ‘ignoring’ certain users can get complicated. I once saw a request for a recommendation for something. When I logged in to comment, the thread had disappeared cause that last person to comment was selected as ‘ignore’ for me.

sometimes you just have to ‘manually’ ignore.

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[wakeflood]

And/or we can all just lighten up a bit? :-)

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[JanS]

hmmm…double post :-

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[Cait]

Yeah I think a lot of it is just a matter of lightening up, wakeflood. However I found the “what you’re looking for is a wife” post kind of offensive instead of just the usual posts-for-chuckles so I completely understand the OP here. I think we all just get carried away.

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[waynster]

wait we found the cure all….or did we lmao…

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/06/24

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[seaopgal]

(Moderately off-topic, but sincere and life-affirming — please do not flag me!)

waynster, gotta ask you: You always have an apropos (as opposed to non sequitur) cartoon: Do you have an app for searching go comics, an encyclopedia memory, or just a lot of time on your hands? Or are you the wealthy, but mysterious creator of the nonsequitur strip?

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[Patrick]

Go Comics is from United Features which still runs about 75% of all the political cartoons and daily strips out there. You can go to Go Comics and create your own page or download the app for tablet of phone.

At least that’s what I do to make sure I don’t miss Alley Oop.

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[seaopgal]

Haven’t thought of Alley Oop in years, but I do Go Comics daily to see my beloved LIO. Makes me feel bad, though, that the cartoonists don’t get paid as they did in the papers.

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[JoB]

no accusations here

just info worth reading

http://www.commondreams.org/hambaconeggs

and.. contrary to what seems to often be popular opinion.. although JanS and i have become friends in the “real” world .. we met here on the forum and are not and have never been dual faces of the same person.

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[JanS]

lol…no, we are definitely not the same person. I never thought that people actually claimed that…sigh. I yam who I yam :D

interesting article, thoughwho has time for that, and who can remember all that, and keep them separate? wow..

and, yes, the forum has forged quite a few friendships….at least 3 for me…and ever so thankful to have them in my life :)

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[miws]

Yeah, I’ve met a few people, through the Forum here, that I’ve come to kinda like in real life…

;-)

Mike

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[waynster]

seaopgal……no..no…no….unfortunately I still work for a living and hmmm I wish ……lmao…and I love a good laugh…. :o)

this reminds me of my younger yrs… lol

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/08/24

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[seaopgal]

Love it, waynster! Thanks for all the laughs.

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