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April 2, 2009 at 4:55 pm #590353
NewGuyMemberNot the stadium wave. The “I let you merge” wave. WTF? I’m from the east coast where you’re lucky if you even get a turn signal, much less a thank-you wave. Why so damn friendly around here? I drive, you drive, I need to get over, you need to get over, I let you, you let me, etc. Enough already.
And people seriously get pissed off if they don’t get a wave. I am actually quite friendly, but choose to contain my emotions while in my vehicle -be it a happy wave, or a bitter glare. Probably just goes with my loathing of the square dance license plates. I have manners. I say please and thank-you (in person). Am I out of line here?
April 2, 2009 at 4:58 pm #663157
WSBKeymasterYeah, I’d say you are.
It’s a small courtesy.
And surprising that it’s so rampant given that otherwise we aren’t all in the business of acknowledging each other … I was reminded of us after a few days on the other coast for a conference last week, walking on the street and getting unsolicited cheery hello’s from EVERYONE, even the panhandlers (who did NOT follow it up with a request!) … then taking a big walk upon returning home, smiling at those I passed, and getting eye avoidance in return. Regional like pop vs. soda, I suppose.
April 2, 2009 at 5:15 pm #663158
nuniMemberIn Ireland people turn on their hazards for a second. I think that’s even friendlier!
April 2, 2009 at 5:21 pm #663159
flowerpetalMemberI’d agree with Lowmanbeach that you are out of line with not extending a thank-you via a wave. I understand however, that people have different standards of coureousness. If someone gets seriously pissed off because someone didn’t wave; it seems to me that such is just as discourteous.
April 2, 2009 at 5:28 pm #663160
JoBParticipantNewGuy..
all that waving may not have been considered necessary before so many of those who weren’t accustomed to friendly courtesy moved here..
case in point.. if you stop to let someone cross the street or to let another car pull in front of you.. you need to do the come on in wave or they won’t be sure about your intentions…
mouthing thank you when someone does that for you or waving thanks to them is optional.. but it does signify that you get that someone was courteous to you…
and it greases the wheels of driving etiquette…
it should go without saying that if the person in front of you stops, you assume they stopped for a reason and you don’t just impatiently pull around them…
I would put my hazard lights on to let the driver behind me know there was reason for caution.. but the last time i did that the guy decided i had car trouble and pulled around me flipping me off for obstructing traffic.. nearly hitting the pedestrian using the crosswalk.
a little courtesy goes a long way when driving…
suck it up, put a smile on your face and wave to your neighbors…
they may actually be one of your WSB online neighbors… but if they aren’t, there is research that says your smile does a lot more good than just enriching the day of the person you smiled at…
A smile won’t cost you much and it may make it a lot less frustrating to drive our streets.
April 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm #663161
KatherineLParticipantI never heard of the wave until I moved to Seattle. But I find I like it. If I’m couteous enough to let you in when you so obviously need to, it’s nice to get an acknowledgment. I’ve taken up doing it myself. It’s easy and quick. There are plenty of inconsiderate drivers out there; courteous ones deserve a thank you.
April 2, 2009 at 5:51 pm #663162
AnonymousInactiveDon’t forget the affirming nod. According to the National Courtesy Institute the affirming nod is the safest way to acknowledge a courteous act in a vehicle as you keep both hands on the wheel and maximize your safety factor.
April 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm #663163
JanSParticipantNewGuy…curious..where on the east coast are oyu from?
The wave is really a nice thing to do. If it’s not your cup of tea, maybe a head nod would work. I live on a side street where two cars can pass in either direction, but sometimes drive the block over where there’s parking on both sides and only one car can go down the street at a time. So, I let you in, you let me in..yes, but there’s invariably someone who comes right after who I have waited for to come down, who thinks that they can, too, and then doesn’t even look in my direction as they pass. Like it’s simply my job while they come down one after the other.
Yeah, acknowledge people with a smile every now and then.:)
April 2, 2009 at 6:07 pm #663164
EmmyJaneParticipantI like the wave. Its a nice gesture and I think it feels good to connect with people in small ways.
As much as everyone has been complaining about grumpy/angry/mean people lately, I think we should be happy about the nice things we do for one another.
April 2, 2009 at 6:08 pm #663165
villagegreenMemberI’m from the midwest and I was a bit disturbed by the thank you waves and stopping in the middle of the street (not even at an intersection) to let pedestrians cross.
I know this shouldn’t get me so riled up, but nothing irks me like having a car stop for me to cross the road when I just want them to continue on their way so I can cross at my own pace. They will be the only car in site and if they’d just keep driving I could cross after them (free of all cars). But they always insist on stopping and then I feel rushed to get my ass across the street. It’s just weird here.
But, after being here for almost 10 years, I find it’s just best to take up the local habits. Makes life easier and really doesn’t take too much effort once you get used to it.
April 2, 2009 at 6:13 pm #663166
JoBParticipanti think that is why they sell those etiquette books for the country you are visiting at the airport:)
another good business idea? one teaching Seattle ways..
and maybe covering neighborhood dress codes too.. that would save a lot of people from that annoying overdressed syndrome when they visit the land of West Seattle…
As long as we don’t sell it on the east side. a little discomfort is good for them ;->
April 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm #663167
EmmyJaneParticipantI think JoB is trying to start east side/west side wars. :-) Is this like gang wars for middle-class America?
April 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm #663168
AnonymousInactiveApril 2, 2009 at 6:42 pm #663169
JoBParticipantemmy jane..
no war…
but i do get tired of the down the noses look if i don’t dress to go to the new mall in Bellevue…
so i think turnabout is fair play…
i was thinking today of the mom and her two kids.. all with soft safari hats, walking sticks and backpacks.. visiting the “wilds” of alkai beach last summer… she proudly let me know they had ridden the bus over…
too bad they were only hiking the beach drive boardwalk… LOL… she wouldn’t let them on the beach:)
she was most appreciative when i explained that a little longer hike would result in a small ferry ride back downtown.. they were going to Pike Place for lunch…
i think some people live in a totally different world than i inhabit:)
luigilinguini..
you too… i think you are indulging in some wishful thinking:)
April 2, 2009 at 6:58 pm #663170
AnonymousInactiveMy guy and I are “wave” fanatics. We always go way overboard with the wave – I’m not sure why.
April 2, 2009 at 6:58 pm #663171
EmmyJaneParticipantI get the same look when I venture over to Bellevue. The layer of dog fur I always have covering me doesn’t make the cut.
Funny story! These are the reasons I love West Seattle, it reminds me of home (Idaho.)
April 2, 2009 at 7:17 pm #663172
NewGuyMemberD.C. born and raised. Used to be the murder capital of America. People get shot in their car on the Beltway there.
April 2, 2009 at 7:23 pm #663173
RSMemberHaving now lived on both coasts and “fly-over country”, I am no longer surprised by any driving customs. It took me a while to adjust to the wave after moving here from Boston, but now I like it, for the same reasons as Emmy Jane. I do agree that stopping in the middle of the street for a ped not in a crosswalk is kinda silly.
JoB- my SO sings a little song every time we’re in Bellevue. Something along the lines of “you are not one of us, you don’t drive a Lexus…” :)
April 2, 2009 at 8:39 pm #663174
RainyDay1235MemberI gotta say, I LOVE getting a wave. I went out of my way , and I think a little thank you acknowledgement is appropriate. Also, I purposefully do not let people in when they are trying to cross-double-yellow lines or take a “shortcut” across my lane. If that caused an accident, I would feel guilty and might even be legally liabel.
JoB: EXCELLENT idea about the hazard lights when stopping at a crosswalk. I am always so nervous when I stop and someone starts – fearing the person behind me might get impatient and speed around. Maybe that will make them think twice.
I always liked this excerpt about how to dress for shopping:
April 2, 2009 at 8:46 pm #663175
KevinParticipantA friend of mine in Montana was telling me about the “finger” NO – NOT the finger that most of us think about but raising one or more fingers off the top of the steering wheel.
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According to my source, the more fingers, the friendlier or more enthusiastic the wave. This practice sounds very much like the nod of the head.
April 2, 2009 at 11:46 pm #663176
JoBParticipantRainyday1235..
loved the funny:) funnier still because while at a major resort a couple of years ago i kept getting compliments on the skirt i purchased at WalMart… the top was an original and expensive.. the skirt? $13 :)))) LOL… i told them i bought it is some little shop in Montana.. montana hides all manner of excess:)
RS..
there are some wonderful parks over there along the lake. that’s where i walked the dogs yesterday when i gave up on heading into real snow for the pups…
Kevin…
i love the finger wave.. it was the wave equivalent in Minnesota:) It took 3 years to move from one finger to three fingers on my block:)
i never did get to the stop to chat blocking the street stage though i did see some older neighbors engaging in that custom:)
April 3, 2009 at 2:27 am #663177
angelescrestParticipantSeems like I was waving back in So Cal. Now, my kids wave, too. I do like its perkiness and happy communication.
April 3, 2009 at 5:06 am #663178
JoBParticipantme too
April 3, 2009 at 8:26 am #663179
JeffroMemberI learned to drive in the DC area, and all these years later I’m still trying to unlearn the habits I acquired there. I love Seattle drivers and I hope they never change. They can be too passive for their own good sometimes, like the people that wave you through at a 4-way stop even though it’s their turn, and the ones who leave a big enough gap for the line-jumpers to get in. I’ll take passive drivers any day over the pure aggression of most drivers in Northern Virginia. Here you can use your signal to merge without the fear that the person behind will block you, and tailgating is the exception and not the rule. I use the merge and waive technique, but I give the biggest waves to the ones who clearly didn’t want to let me in.
April 4, 2009 at 1:44 am #663180
datamuseParticipantHi NewGuy! I’m from D.C. too (well, Silver Spring, but tell that to someone outside the state and they ask if it’s near Baltimore).
Several years ago, my now-husband and I visited D.C. together for the holidays. We landed at Dulles, picked up our rental car, and headed for Maryland.
We were on the highway for all of five minutes when he turned to me and said, “Now I understand why you drive like that.”
I have to say, though, that for sheer aggression, insanity, and downright WTFery, D.C. has NOTHING on Athens. Riding in the front seat of a taxicab there, as I’ve commented previously, is a shot of adrenaline akin to riding on a roller coaster–and a lot more dangerous.
(Although, Jeffro, tailgating seems to be getting a lot more common around here. It happens to me about once a day during my commute, and it’s not like I’m sandbagging in the carpool lane or anything.)
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