Name calling/immature behavior in forums

[JanS]

I’m probably going to offend some people, but, hey, I can handle it. Am I the only one who is tired of the immature rants, etc., that pop up in some threads on here when people disagree? There are forums on the internet that thrive on name calling, general nastiness, etc., and for those who want to go those fora, that’s fine with me. However….I love the WSB and all that it encompasses, and I guess I just assume that those of us who post on here, even though we disagree, are mature, civil human beings, and should be above this sort of thing. It detracts from the forum, it detracts from the point of the thread. I’ve included some examples below from just one thread. Yes, unfortunately, most are from one person, who, sadly, has done this in other threads. But…on the other side , there are people who make snide remarks that are totally off topic to egg this person on. Any opinions? webmaster? am I out of line? I’m just tired of it…

1.

Blow away san! You must be the idiot who write in the rants and raves on Seattle Times that people find most annoying. I am only negative about you freak. You no longer exisit to me you are a complete waste of time and space. You do not deserve any nice words written about yu so no sweeties, or dearie, just disgust!!

Posted 1 day ago #

2.Same to you barmagia! What a name!! So you are a barmaid we get it! Go mix yourself some drinks and call it a night. Maybe we will get lucky and you won’t come back.

3.Dear San:

LatteMom and NewResident are not the same person, so get over it will you! And you sound so arogant suits your name SanDearie!! Hey! Are you the owner of the pit bull from the latest attack, you sound arogant enough. Whait a minute your name must be SanJerald! :)

4.Newlatte-

Chill sweet pea. When you reply in an angry frenzy, you manage to make yourself even smaller. Deep breathes. Try a dash of patience and reality and you just might gain some credibility. If you could exhibit some shred of maturity, you just might notice how little you find yourself on the defense. The world isn’t against you, despite your best attempts. So lighten up. No one likes a poopy pants who loves to pipe in with constant negativity. Here’s one more piece of advice – Spellcheck. I’ve heard that it even works on “Complete Freakout Meltdown” mode. Nighty night pumpkin. :)

5.an I thought I got out of junior high many many years ago, I guess I was wrong.

lattemom, I am not a barmaid, but thanks for proving that you are a judgmental name caller. If it were any of your business (sound familiar) I would explain how I came to have that name, but since you will come to your own conclusions without ASKING first then you just go ahead and think whatever you want to think.

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[WSMom]

Hi Jan:

I agree! Let’s all show some patience and kindness. I enjoy reading our little WSB because of the friendliness and interesting points of view. I must admit, since I find Lattemom’s tone hard to take, I simply do not read a post if she is the last poster, and I certainly do not encourage her negativity by responding to what she has to say. I don’t feel a need to confront someone I don’t know and care about. I’m not going to change lattemom or newresident, and I have no desire to try. But I will always try to be kind, which I don’t think is too much to ask.

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[Anonymous]

Excuse me, I don’t understand the comment , “I’m not going to change lattemom or newresident…” What do I have to do with this? Nothing I have written is included in JanS examples. I firmly believe that I try, most of the time, to diffuse situations and bring the topic back on track.

For what it’s worth, I do think there are some mean-spirited people on this blog and they do try to egg people on constantly. I know this because it has happened to me. Now I know that these people are just mean (or that’s how they want to portray themselves) and I don’t really pay much attention.

This blog is great and I have received great information on it. I just think that there is always going to be those few bad apples.

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[Anonymous]

JanS… to answer your query, the best I can, I would suggest, when you see this type of thing happening (if you choose to continue reading that particular thread), try diffusing all the bad vibes and bringing it back to topic. Don’t take any sides and talk about the thread topic. I think that’s the only thing that can really be done. Maybe it will give all participants a chance to sit back and think about what we are really discussing.

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[Anonymous]

Also, WSMom… even what you said about lattemom there is a little mean. That’s fine to have that opinion, but why would you write that? Just keep something like that to yourself. It’s little comments like that that I think get people riled up.

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[Franci]

JanS,

Thank You, very well put! I too get tired of wading through the posts that are full of name calling and trashing of opinions.

I don’t think its too much to ask to request that folks be civil to one another. I think that the Golden Rule sums it up quite nicely – Do unto others and you would have them do unto you.

I sort of wonder what some posters comments would be like if they didn’t have the option of anonimity.

Franci

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[Anonymous]

JanS- that’s certainly a nice sentiment but highly unrealistic. Everyone has different tolerances and boundaries. What’s irritating to you is entertaining to another. For example, it drives me up a wall that you say “hehe” in almost every post. I don’t know why, it just does. But it’s my problem, of course, not yours. And apparently I drive PrayingMan-tis-i crazy, among others I’m sure. What are you going to do? Police everyone that bothers you. It is our differences that make this so interesting.

I think anonymity is a great tool that encourages our true colors and subjects us to peer review and self-correction. What better way to steer public discourse. I hate when people use phony friendliness. I have much more respect for those who express their real thoughts as opposed to what I want to hear.

I also don’t find anything you posted to be that offensive. It’s immature to be sure, but so what. This isn’t craft corner where we all discuss our latest fabric purchase. It’s a community of vastly different personalities, interests, and values. We disagree and argue and plan coffee dates when we’re through. An extended family of sorts and I like it.

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[vincent]

Internet forms, local or not, attract the lowest common denominator. If thats a stay at home mom with nothing better to do, or a pedantic personality who wants to pick anonymous fights with people, well you have to take the good with the bad. As someone who has used various internet message systems for probably a decade I can say this is just a cycle. As personalities emerge people will come and go, its up to the moderators to help shape the voice of it all. Because all web communities tend to eat themselves over time. That said, its hard to let some random flame post go without chiming in.

br

have fun kids, welcome to the internet.

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[Kayleigh]

I think it’s the anonymity of the ‘net that allows (some) people to say things they would never say to someone’s face. I’ve been a victim of that (and probably to a much lesser extent, a perpetrator too.)

I try not to post anything that I wouldn’t say to a stranger I was chatting with at a coffee shop. There are real actual people behind the words on the screen.

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[san]

janS- shall i call the Whaaaaaambulance?

Kaleigh and JT- here here!

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[JanS]

san…thanks…

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[JanS]

to the others..just thought I’d throw it out there..like I said…it may offend.

Jt…I try to be more humorous than perhaps I should be…I’ll take note of that…no more hehe’s…but can I smile every now and then? I didn’t realize I did it that much…which brings me to my original point…maybe the people that bother me don’t realize that they’re doing it a lot either, and just need to be told to cool it a bit…

thanks..

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[Anonymous]

Jan- you can hehe to your hearts content, especially in your own thread. I wasn’t trying to rag on you, but I think you got the point I was making. Of course it would be great if we were all pleasant and civil to each other. On the other hand, do you remember the movie Pleasantville? I don’t think we want that extreme either. So completely boring. And then, who gets to decide where the line is when it’s different for every person? We have the change the channel solution. As long as no one is being outright abusive or threatening, live and let live and move on.

And the whaaambulance comment made me laugh so what does that tell you about me.

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[JanS]

hey…I liked it, too…it was one I hadn’t heard before :)

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[Anonymous]

I got on my rampage because :

1. I do not trust Pit Bulls, period.

2. I do not trust irresponsibile Dog Owners.

#. I am so sic and tiredof being told I am LatteMom, Cinnamon and NewResident rolled into 1 person, I am not so stop!

4. I will stand up for myself when someone attacks me verbally and taunts me.

5. I will listen and read others comments and opinions, but like everyone else I also have my own opinions and trust that like everyone they red and listen to my opinions. I have that right, and so do you.

6. If you are a owner of a aggressive dog breed please, please be responsible and train it, supervise it and take care of it and not train it to attack others when they just walk down the street or children play in their yards.

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[san]

Jan and JT

Thanks! :) I truly don’t intend to offend anyone. But, it is hilarious to see people react to extremes. I think we can all admit that there are certain members here that react so over the top that it can be ( shamefully ) very entertaining. My apologies to anyone who reads more into it than what’s on the surface. I love theses forums, so the last thing i would want to see is a list of rules and regulations stating where our opinions should stop, and where our freedom of speech should be waived. I will try do my best to not egg on the crazies, but I guarantee I’m laughing myself silly in observation. Thanks Jan! :)

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[WSB]

As the site owner and nominal moderator – we tread more lightly over here in the forums and don’t see everything before it appears, so we really rely on you all to flag us about something you think is way out of line (and thanks to those who have done so) –

editor@westseattleblog.com –

I just need to note, we are not going to ban people for being annoying, though we will ban them for being deliberately and frequently personally insulting, etc. etc. as stated before (but we’ll send those users plenty of warning first to give them one last chance to change their ways).

However, there MAY be an interim solution — there is a bbPress (the software the forum runs on) plug-in for “ignore user” that I will test way late at night tonight in the potential interest of those of you who want to choose to filter out particular users’ posts. Doesn’t stop said users from just changing their screen name if they suddenly feel they are shouting into a vacuum, but if you really are avoiding threads simply by the presence of certain users, might be helpful. (They had it on a forum in which we participated, non-WS topic, long ago, and I’m certain at least a few people blocked me!) If the test works (and it may take a few nights of overnight tweaking before we know one way or the other), we’ll let you know.

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[JanS]

hey, WSB….do you sleep? tweaking things late at night, hmm, maybe a nap is in order…

thanks for doing that. It may be a solution if it works. I was also haing a very cranky morning yesterday, and I suppose that was a part of why I started this thread.

I can’t believe that people might have wanted to block you ;-)

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[JoB]

i don’t want to have to ignore anyone… shunning is one of the most cruel methods any society uses to control it’s members. i would hope we would all be just a touch more thoughtful about who will be reading us.

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[Anonymous]

Welcome back, JoB!

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[JoB]

oops.. wrong thread.. moved to pit bulls… sorry..

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[JoB]

new resident.. thanks.. it’s good to be back

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[barmargia]

whoops, wrong forum, my mistake

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[Anonymous]

Hey Vincent, What’s up with the undermining comment about stay at home Moms having nothing better to do? Do you think being a stay at home parent is easier than say working a full time job? The answer is it is alot harder! ry it sometime and see.

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[JoB]

lattemom..

a bit defensive aren’t you?

some people work a full time job outside the home and still have nothing better to do…

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[Author]

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