abortions

[JimmyG]

I’m also willing to say I’ve had an abortion, and it wasn’t an early stage one either.

Don’t regret it for one moment, and if I were to become pregnant tomorrow I’d have another.

I don’t care if you call it a fetus, a life, a baby, a zygote–what is inside my body is mine to do with as I please within the confines of the law.

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[JimmyG]

And in an effort at full disclosure I’m an adoptee.

I had an awesome life growing up with my adoptive family and I’m glad I was given up for adoption as my bio family led very hard lives.

So I think I can speak to the abortion/adoption situation with a small amount of 1st hand knowledge.

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[Irukandji]

I can weigh in here as well.

At 14 I was raped and terrified to report because of threats made. My parents raised me to be self sufficient and take care of myself, so I made my decisions, my appointments, took the bus to and from a clinic twelve or so miles away. Parents never knew, at least not until I was in my thirties.

I had an abortion and took the bus home as I was still hemorrahging blood. I would never have given birth to the child of a rapist. I knew that even at that age.

In my twenties I married into a family and became a step-mom, half-time at first and eventually full time. One of the children of this family was adopted, the others were born to their mother. The mother was found to have sexually abused all of the children, boys and girls, before they were six years old.

My take on it all: my body, my business. The only thing I would go back and change is my level of fear of talking about any of this while I was going through it.

I am absolutely thankful that I had the options that I did, and I am glad to be in a position now to offer more empathy than righteous shame when it comes to the overwhelming and terrifying medical decisions others make.

Editing to say I think I ought go bowling with JoB.

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[Trisket]

“I’M GLAD I DIDN’T KILL MY UNBORN BABY BECAUSE NOW THEY ARE AN HONOR STUDENT AT WASHINGTON MIDDLE SCHOOL” -LBG

This bumper sticker is the perfect example of someone WHO MADE A CHOICE!

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[DFW]

LBG, first of all, your statment “Sue, your post is ridiculous” is abusive and is in violation of West Seattle Blog Forum policies.

Second, it is insensitive. What you say is a “fact” is simply not true. You have absolutely no idea what the medical conditions of the family were at the time and yet you make a blanket statement. You also on the one hand keep insisting that abortion is taking a life. The fetus in the situation Sue writes about had died. You really want to force someone to carry around what you consider to be a dead person inside them for two weeks? That doesn’t sound very much like a “culture of life” to me.

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[JanS]

irukandji…thank you for sharing what must have been a horrible situation for you. I had a similar experience in my teens…I was 17, on a “date”, but did not become pregnant. It was the summer of 1964, and abortion was illegal. If I had become pregnant, I can only imagine that I would have had to give birth to that child. Pro-choice to me means that my daughter, your daughters, everyones daughters, will never have to be faced with that proposition, if it ever happened to them. They will have a choice, as long as it’s legal.

Men want into this discussion….I’m not sure why. They will never experience the horror of being raped and getting pregnant from that rape, and having to decide what to do. I have never been in the position of having to make the abortion choice. Knowing myself, I don’t know if I could do it…but that doesn’t mean I’d want to take that choice away from another woman.

sending gentle hugs to you…

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[acemotel]

Too bad people can’t get so passionate about stopping the deaths of 17, 18 19 (and more) year-old boys and some girls. These are young kids, just out of high school, flush with life and vitality, innocent, precious children, really. They are sent to hell on earth, witness to maiming, rape, sodomy and torture. More than 4000 of these children have been killed. Do they feel pain? Is there any question? Many more of other nationalities have been killed. Many thousands more are injured, and the pain they suffer and will suffer puts your conceptual fetus pain to shame. This is happening today, as we argue theoretical are-they-viable-or-not woowoo about embryos.

Almost every woman I know has had an abortion, including me. There’s no reason to feel bad about yourself, and you certainly don’t have to justify it! You don’t have to explain. (although I empathize with your heartfelt and moving stories) I don’t like to see women taking a defensive posture for doing something women have done for hundreds of years, and for doing something that, oh, yea, is legal! It’s painful to see women buy in to the antichoice tactics.

and ps, if it ever becomes illegal, we can go to any other civilized country in the world to get one. (The penalty for abortion in the 3rd Reich was death.)

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[JoB]

there are too many of you to thank for restoring my hope tonight…

thank you for sharing your stories.

but most of all thank you for sharing your compassion for those who didn’t ask to be in the position they found themselves in.. yet did the best they could anyway.

it’s all any of us can do and we so seldom get credit for it.

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[Zenguy]

I just don’t understand where ANYONE gets off telling others what kind of medical procedures they can or should have.

I do not personally believe I would ever have an abortion, but that should be something that each person decides on their own and will have to deal with their choices.

I will not post on this thread or read it again.

I did donate money to Planned Parenthood last night in Sarah Palin’s name and a card will be going to the Alaska Governor’s mansion in her honor. I will also counter protest any clinic in West Seattle that is protested.

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[LBG]

DFW…it is not in violation of WSB forum or insensitive because it IS a ridiculous statement and simply NOT true. When our baby died in my wife’s womb at 33 weeks, we were told we could schedule labor and delivery immediately or the body would naturally expel the baby in 2 weeks. we decided to schedule labor and delivery 2 days later. Please tell me how bringing up this factual point was insensitive or non-factual….I’m sorry, but my post was fact. Like I said, call Swedish or any hospital to verify.

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[LBG]

You know what..how dare YOU DFW…I would love for you to respond to my post…maybe you should pause before you start chastising people!

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[Anonymous]

“I just don’t understand where ANYONE gets off telling others what kind of medical procedures they can or should have.” – Zenguy

This sentiment has been expressed in this thread previously and I just wanted to point out that I don’t see anyone here telling anyone else what they should or shouldn’t do. To suggest that that is what is taking place, when one simply questions the morality of the procedure, is a huge presumption. Not to mention, completely off-topic.

“I do not personally believe I would ever have an abortion” – Zenguy

What can I say about this quote? Zenguy, you are male and, therefore, never have to consider this predicament (also, by being male, you are not entitled to partake in this discussion at all. Not my own opinion, but some others).

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[Anonymous]

How about thanking those women that could have chosen to have an abortion because they weren’t financially ready, emotionally ready, or relationship ready to have a baby, but didn’t?

Do you even realize how many women have children when they are not ready to or prepared to?

These women are to be commended. They could have terminated their child’s life and gone on with their own, but chose not to. They chose to give their child life.

These are women that played the hand dealt to them and made the best of it. These are women that stepped up to the plate and succeeded.

Oh, and by the way, I am one of THESE women. And I couldn’t be more proud of myself, or my daughter.

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[Anonymous]

LBG – I’m so sorry for you and your wife’s loss. My thoughts are with you.

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[JanS]

and…NR…that was your choice – you weren’t forced to do that…and it was a great choice for you.I remember someone telling me when I was trying to get pregnant that in all honesty, we’re never really prepared, emotionally or financially…but if you wait until you think you are, you may never have a child. It took me 4 years and artificial insemination to get pregnant..she was most definitely wanted, and I have raised a great child, almost half of her life by myself. I think all that other women are asking is that they have the same choice to decide…fair enough?

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[JanS]

I also remember a great discussion I had with a Wash, DC vice cop in…hmm…1969. I believe…yep, a long time ago. We discussed legislating morality..and were in agreement that it can’t be done. We’re all different, my morality may not be your morality, which may not be JT’s morality, or LBG’s morality, ad infinitum. All of our worlds are different, and what’s right for one may not be right for the next one.

LBG..I am sorry that you have had to go through that loss. I think that must be the most terrible kind of loss. People did not know it on here , so go easy on them…sending gentle hugs..

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[acemotel]

n/m

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[LBG]

Thank you for your words NewRes…my wife and I would love to get together with you and your guy sometime. it’s always nice to socialize with like minded individuals…

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[LBG]

Thanks JanS, you always seem to be fair in your assessment of varying topics. that is truly commendable….We ARE all different. That is why I have stated multiple times in this thread that if you are ok with your abortion decision, so be it. I just have a different opinion of when life begins and if that life should be afforded certain rights….

acemotel…that wasn’t an argument…that was a proposed bumper sticker in response to a previous post. Also, the bumper sticker wasn’t from the point of view of the non-aborted child, it was from the view of the parent, thus rendering your 4th paragraph irrelevant in regard to my post.

Lastly, your 5th paragraph is nonsensical by the very fact that there is no conception taking place if the sperm does not fertilize the egg. You should actually sue your science teachers for not educating you on this basic premise…

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[Anonymous]

LBG – My guy and I would absolutely love that! Please email me at mak31019@yahoo.com.

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[acemotel]

ha ha ha LBG, thank you. how does that work again? I deleted my post because I don’t want to be involved in this argument; I don’t think anyone will be changed, and too many possibilities for hurt feelings. IMO It’s a sensitive topic and many people have painful experiences that inform their opinions.

(and I remain pro choice with impunity)

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[Trisket]

LBG – Your “F-you” comment to DFW was unnecessary and certainly, IMO, not in keeping with the intended spirit of this forum.

Perhaps you need to find a blog/forum more suited to like-minded individuals like you and NewResident.

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[JoB]

LBG..

i am deeply sorry that you lost a child. And i am glad you live where compassionate medical care was available.

But i think we are mistaken when we assume that what is available here is the standard for the rest of the nation. It just isn’t true.

I spent the last 5 years in the heartland.. in the twin cities area.. where some of the best medical care in the nation is available.. and to my knowledge.. only one of the hospitals would have performed a late term abortion for a dead fetus.

They prefer inducing labor and still birth.. or c-section… primarily to avoid abortion foes.

Women traveled great distance to get care in that hospital since it was the twin cities or chicago for that kind of care in the upper midwest.

While it may be true that Sue may have been mistaken had she been talking about the options available here (we don’t know that the options available to your family at your clinic are universally available to all women here)..

i have no doubt that she is absolutely correct about the story she related and the options available there.

I think it is a sad reflection on our society that we have digressed to a point where our political affiliations cause us to assume someone with differing politics is a liar.. while someone with like politics tells truth.

That assumption is seldom true.

You can ask to have any abusive comments you make removed by the editors. simply email them (there is an email link in the about section) and name the thread and the number of the post.

sometimes we say things when we are frustrated that we wish we could remove later. On this forum.. we can.

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[JenV]

thank you to all of you who came forward and shared your stories. I am deeply touched to be a part of this discussion – a discussion which I thought was ridiculous in the first place turned out to be both a sounding board and a catharsis.

this is such a difficult topic, because it is a choice – and a private choice. No one should ever need to justify that choice to anyone. If you regret it, regret it. If you don’t, don’t.

We’re all different people from radically different backgrounds, religions or lack thereof and cultural norms. No one can say what is right for another person unless they are that person.

I was 23, living in a studio apartment, making $8/hr and no health insurance. I used protection, but it was not effective. I was not in love with the person I was having sex with. I also knew, from a very young age due to my f’d up childhood- that I never wanted a child. These were my reasons, and they were right for me. I was so lucky to have supportive parents and supportive friends – because it wasn’t cheap- it was incredibly physically painful – and I could not have gone through it alone. I have never talked about this, except for my guy. Any of you who know me personally know that I am a private person, and this takes a lot for me. So thank you all for sharing your stories. That was mine.

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[LBG]

Two things…I apologize about the F-you comment, that was not necessary and was in poor taste. Although, I kind of find it funny that JenV can rage and tell everybody that doesn’t agree with her to “go to hell” and nobody tells her that THAT is not keeping with the spirit of the forum as Trisket suggests. And please don’t post that JenV didn’t direct it to any one person because A) we are talking about the spirit of the forum and B) it is very easy to figure out the 2-3 people it was directed to

There is such a double standard on this forum.

The comment also had nothing to do with SUE…it had everything to do with DFW assuming that I was being abusive and deliberately insensitive. She assumed that I was making blanket statements and generalizations when I was actually speaking from a true life experience and actual knowledge about such a situation.

Secondly, as far as SUE’s post is concerned, it is my understanding from talking with multiple doctors regarding the death of our baby that because the baby died, the body will start the process of rejecting the baby. It may be longer than 2 weeks, but the body will reject and expel the baby. That is why it is hard for me to believe that this friends sister was told they had a choice to either carry to full term or abort. There were apparently 2 to 3 months left to go in the pregnancy.

If that was truly the case, so be it. It just goes against everything we were told so to me it just doesn’t seem likely. It is not even a first person account so that makes it even harder for me to believe. But again, if that was what happened, so be it.

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