JoB
Smitty…
Let me tell you the bright future you paint for the woman who nurtures that bundle of cells and carries it full term to adoption is more fantasy than reality.
Unfortunately adoption day is NOT the end of the story.
Ask someone who knows.
Ask about the long term psychological impact. Ask about suicidal anniversary depressions. Ask about missed opportunities.
Ask about the father who didn’t want to be found when the kid came looking.
Ask about the kid who wanted to be raised in a family like yours where adults take time for kids…
ask about the kid who saw only missed opportunities when he came looking.
Ask about the feelings of failure when the largest sacrifice of your life didn’t provide a better life for your child than you could have provided on your own…
Ask about the feelings of failure when you realize that you could have provided more.
Ask about the women who can’t face a reunion with the child they gave up.
Ask what that does to the child.
Yes, ask.
because clearly you think birth is the only issue here.
This is such a complicated issue. and the irony is that with all that.. my adoption story is what is considered a success…
My kid was raised by parents who loved him… even though they chose divorce so he ended up in a single parent family.
My kid was educated and is successful…
and our reunion was successful and permanent.
But in retrospect.. i can clearly see that i did not make the best choice for my child when i chose to put him up for adoption.
When your child calls you annually for nearly a decade.. not to thank you for his adopted family… but for not killing him… you have no doubt that you didn’t make the best possible choice.
I have no way to tell you if abortion would have been a better option since that was not the choice i made… but i can tell you that there are no easy choices when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy..
and no-one walks away unmarked no matter what choice is made.
HMCRich…
it is too easy for a man to say that if a woman didn’t have sex she wouldn’t have an unplanned pregnancy.
although i know much is made of the femme fetale who seduces man after man…
even more is made of the man who scores.
sexual touchdowns result in unplanned pregnancies.
sexual coercion among partners results in unplanned pregnancies.
date rape results in unplanned pregnancies.
rape results in unplanned pregnancies.
incest results in unplanned pregnancies.
i could go on with that litany.. but i suspect you get the idea.
but placing both the blame and responsibility for unplanned pregnancies on women is more than a little unfair and pretty damn convenient for the male half of the population.
I sincerely hope that you never have to experience that inequity as a parent.