Is insensitity ramapant?

[Magpie]

I think that insensitivity is rampant. I was on the 55 last night and a sight impaired/hearing impaired woman with her young daughter, who often is on the bus, got on downtown. There was a teenage girl sitting in the first seat across from the driver with one empty seat next to her. They literally stood in front of her as she should have had sense enough to get up and give her seat to them. She sat there and looked away, no movement whatsoever.

Thank goodness there was another seat for them. I was several seats back,and was also annoyed that the bus driver hadn’t asked her to get up. On my way out, I asked her if she realized that she was supposed to get up for the woman and that is why she stood in front of her for so long? I also indicated that there were signs behind the seats stating that stated she should have gotten up. I think I made her REALLY uncomfortable, but oh, well. Obviously someone needed to say something to her. She seemed totally clueless. Hopefully, she will think about getting up the next time or else, she might have whined to her parents about me..who knows… I also realize that some folks might think I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong. I’ll take that chance.

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[JanS]

I think that given that the bus driver didn’t say anything, you were perfectly within bounds to bring it to her attention. And, speaking up as you did near the bus driver, perhaps it had a impact on him/her, too. Hope they were paying attention.

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[Sue]

We can’t always assume that the person seated, even if young and looking able-bodied, is not disabled. I have a disability, but don’t necessarily look like it. So what may look like insensitivity to one person may be a legitimate need.

At the same time though, the person who needs the seat needs to take some responsiblity for themselves, and not rely on others or the driver to help them. Right after my knee surgery I got on the bus and stood there in the front with my cane. Nobody got up to give me a seat. So I said out loud “can someone please give up their seat for me?” and someone did. While in a perfect world you wouldn’t have to do that, we all have to take responsibility for getting our own needs met.

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[GenHillOne]

Thanks for this timely reminder. While this girl may have been acting selfishly, she may also simply have not known any better. There are a lot of new teen-aged riders about now. If you don’t have a child in the age range, you might not know that as of September, yellow busses for high schools are gone. (Unfortunately, I think they’re trending toward eliminating MS busses too). Sealth was in the group phased out in 2007, WS is in this last group. So there are not only freshmen trying to learn the Metro ropes, but perhaps others who used to take the school bus. I just looked at Metro’s rider rules and there isn’t any mention of seat protocol so I might have forgotten to bring it up with my student. Also Sue’s point that someone without an “obvious” disability might ask for a seat…talking about that scenario in advance could lessen an awkward moment.

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[HP]

Teenagers are children still learning how to be adults, therefore if we adults are politely informing or reminding them of the rules I dont think it is overstepping our boundries. If it were my child sitting there oblivious I would appreciate you giving a friendly comment to her because I would rather that than the person to stand there waiting. We all hope that when we send our kids out into the world that they are respectful and well mannered but they are still children and still need reminders every now & again.

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[JenV]

I know this is a serious topic, but every time I skim the forums I read this as “is insanity rampant?” and to that I would have to say- yes.

…on the teen not knowing better- aren’t there signs right there that kindly suggest those seats in the front are for the elderly/infirm/etc?

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[JanS]

yes, JenV, you’re right…there are signs…more than one…

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[WSMom]

It’s awfully hard to judge the age of young girls today. Often 11 – 12 year olds are fully developed physically, but are still looking at the world through a child’s eyes. Plus, when my daughter began taking the bus to the U-District for choir, I specifically told her to sit next to the driver for safety. She really hates taking the bus because of “gross old men who stare”. I’m fine with women giving my children gentle behavior reminders when I’m not around, but I want to emphasize the word “gentle”.

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[JoB]

WSMom..

this is a tough one.. i wrote a post and then deleted it as i thought about my granddaughters riding the bus.

From the perspective of someone who actually needs those seats when i ride the bus… I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to struggle onto the bus and have able bodied people not only sitting in those seats but looking at me as if I was some kind of freak show while I struggle to stay focused enough to reach a seat.

I imagine they assume i am drunk instead of exhausted.

Yet… i wouldn’t want my granddaughters subjected to some of the mayhem i have seen in the back of the bus.

i guess i would have to say that young people can stand and stay at the front of the bus while those with difficulty moving, for whatever reason, don’t have that option.

And i am disappointed that ours is a society in which children are no longer taught to give their seat to give the elderly, the disabled, mothers with small children in their arms and anyone having difficulty.

I miss the days when we at least maintained the illusion that other people’s needs/rights were as important as our own.

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[GenHillOne]

The irony of this post (insensitivity) is that my kid IS sensitive and would feel HORRIBLE if he thought he did something that was perceived as uncaring. And if someone publicly scolded him, he would just die. That’s why I appreciate the chance to talk about this in advance. Like you said, JoB, it’s disappointing that we don’t teach kids to give up seats, but to be honest, it just doesn’t come up very often either. Since we aren’t regular bus riders, I can only think of a handful of scenarios, maybe in a full waiting room or restaurant lobby? I do want him toward the front of the bus, so he’ll need to master this. Now for truly snotty behavior, vs. foul by omission, I would treat it differently. Let them complain to their parents; they can call me and I’ll tell them what a brat their kid was on the bus!

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[JoB]

It’s good that someone brought it up so you get the opportunity to talk about it with him in advance…

sometimes we just don’t think about what it takes for other people to manage their lives when we are busy managing ours.

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