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February 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm #597824
maudeParticipantStarting my own thread so I don’t get accused of threadjacking….
I remember way back when…my family would go out for dinner. Parents would drop the four kids in the restaurant and they’d head to the cocktail lounge. We’d sit there and eat our dinner and bug no one. If we caused problems, no matter how slight, we’d get our butts beat. So we minded our p’s and q’s.
A few years ago we discussed having children. We decided against it. I’m just too selfish to have them. Plus I’ve decided that I don’t really like them all that much. I don’t know what to do with them. Why can’t they just sit down and watch a show? If I squirmed around that much while my dad was watching his Hogan’s Heroes well, there’s another butt beating.
And when we go out to public places I mostly ignore the children that might be in the establishment. Unless they are screeching their heads off. And I totally understand how a parent can tune that out. Anyone recall yelling, “mom…mom….mom…..mom” for 25 minutes before she screams? No? Just me? But when they start screeching that’s about the time I want to go over to them and screech right back. But I don’t. But I want to.
The question then: Should I notify the parents that the kid is bugging me? Should I become somehow equally obnoxious? Should I shut it out and enjoy the people I went there with instead of focusing on a brat/oblivious parents? Hard to do after a beer or two. :)
February 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm #715955
beachdrivegirlParticipantI don’t have children yet myself and I have never thought of complaining to management or complaining to a parent about misbehaving children. I make a note of it and might make a commit to my husband, friend, or whoever is with me but I don’t think it is my place to step in and say anything. If it gets to be a repeat problem at the same establishment I just don’t go there anymore. Just like I choose not to go to bars that have a habit of over serving everyone there because I don’t enjoy being around a bunch of sloppy drunks. (Personally I would take a kid any day over that. :)). I do ALWAYS say something to those families that had well behaved kids at a restaurant, flight, or coffee shop. It is my thought that positive reenforcement goes a lot farther than anger, threats, or any other type of negative reenforcement.
February 2, 2011 at 7:01 pm #715956
maplesyrupParticipantWouldn’t it depend on the type of place?
Like if I went to a beachfront restaurant on a summer afternoon/evening, I’d expect to see a lot of kids and adjust my expectations accordingly.
Or if I went to an expensive steakhouse for dinner I’d probably say something to the waiter if a kid was running around or being excessively noisy. Not in a rude way of course.
February 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm #715957
DPMemberI already ♥ this thread, and it’s barely just been born.
Would never dream
of hijacking it
just yet
February 2, 2011 at 7:21 pm #715958
maudeParticipantmaplesyrup, absolutely, it depends on the establishment. If I were to wander into a Chuck E. Cheese’s then I’m in their territory. Screech till your hearts content.
I guess restaurants are middle ground. If kids are there I try my best to ignore them. But I get distracted easily.
Over 21 establishments are a safe bet, though I’ve been to a certain tav near Home Depot where I’ve seen some infantile behavior. :) Still love it though.
I think it really depends on my mood. I normally like a quieter place to enjoy food, beer and conversation so if the noise is coming from a toddler, juke box, or drunk guy at the end of the bar, I’ll likely not have positive things to say about the experience.
But I’m wishy-washy too. I could go back to a noisy place the very next night and have a great time. I’m just hard to please. But beer makes it easier.
February 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm #715959
KBearParticipantThis thread is already about children misbehaving in restaurants! I wonder where the threadjackers will take it…
February 2, 2011 at 7:37 pm #715960
maudeParticipantOh KBear, the next logical step would be dogs in public places.
February 2, 2011 at 7:41 pm #715961
jwwsParticipantMy dogs are my children ;-)
February 2, 2011 at 7:48 pm #715962
maudeParticipantMy dogs are my children too. But they aren’t well behaved and I know better than take them to a restaurant. :)
February 2, 2011 at 8:01 pm #715963
bluebirdMemberI choose to eat in robot only establishments. Pre-programmed to behave exactly as I have decided they should. I always know that the littlest ones will never do anything unexpected that I disprove of, and the larger ones can’t overindulge becoming loud or obnoxious. There are no variables. The world revolves around me, as it should. And as predicted, each and every meal is absolutely perfect.
February 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm #715964
bluebirdMemberBut really I just sigh extremely loud, roll my eyes, and give the parents the death glare.
February 2, 2011 at 8:17 pm #715965
RarelyEverParticipantThis is from a mother of a teenager – there is absolutely no reason any child should ever disbehave (or show bad manners) in a public place. I understand that every child is different, and that there are a billion ways to raise your kid, but unless the child cannot control his/her behavior due to physical or mental impairments it is the parents’ responsibility to teach proper behavior and/or discipline their offspring if proper behavior is not displayed, especially in public.
Personal observation makes me think that the majority of parents who have unruly children dislike disciplining them because they equate discipline with a whitholding of love. This is untrue; in fact, studies have shown over and over that a child growing up without defined borders and rules is an unhappy child. Children need “lines in the sand” to feel secure. If their parents are amiss drawing those lines children will act out, bad behavior and attitude ensue, and you are raising an unhappy child with no sense of place or security.
This may sound harsh, but if I see you in public with your offspring and you are not in control of the situation, you are only a small step short of a child abuser in my eyes. If you’re unsure about how to raise a happy and contented child, there’s plenty of information out there you can read up on. Or talk to your pediatrician. Or seek advise from a parent whose kids seem to be well-adjusted.
I know this can go both ways, and I get worried when I see a family out and about, and the children look like drones; afraid to talk, afraid to look me in the eye, afraid to display any child-like behavior at all. Children need to have room to play, to explore their world, to ask a million questions – however, please consider time and place.
Jus’ my 2 cents worth.
February 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm #715966
DPMemberHere’s why people need ediditors:
Parents would drop the four kids in the restaurant and they’d head to the cocktail lounge.
In the sentence above, the pronoun they follows two nouns, either of which could be its legitimate father. It follows the noun kids most closely, however, so in this case, the child would seem to be the father of both the man and the woman.
In other words, it is easy to misread this sentence as meaning that it was the kids (not the parents) who headed to the cocktail lounge . . .
An amusing thought, isn’t it? And perhaps it’s what maude really meant. But I doubt it.
This grammatical misstep goes by various names, but I like to call it “pronoun confusion.” Fortunately, this confusion can be easily cured, either by just losing the befuddled pronoun, comme ça:
Parents would drop the kids off in the restaurant and head to the cocktail lounge.
—or by rewording in any of various ways to clarify just what or whom that pronoun (“they”) refers to, comme ça:
Parents would drop the kids off in the restaurant. Then they’d head to the cocktail lounge.
Please don’t misundertake me; I don’t feel that Mlle. maude has dealt some grievous hurt to the English language. Pronoun confusion is among the easiest- and oftenest-to-make of boo boos. Everyone does it now and then.
As a matter of fact, I think that maude’s a perfectly good writer, and I’m merely using this one sentence of hers as an opportunity to point out that I’m even gooder.
Shamelessly Yours,
DP_Editor at Comcast.net
February 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm #715967
csw2119ParticipantMaude, you are not selfish!!! You are smart. I too chose to not have children, but I love well behaved kids. The problem is most people have no business having kids. Kids require unending commitment/time which most couples don’t have if they both work.
February 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm #715968
KBearParticipant“Parents would drop the four kids in the restaurant and they’d head to the cocktail lounge.”
…for the Toddler-Friendly Happy Hour.
February 2, 2011 at 8:24 pm #715969
pixel pusherMemberDon’t you think the parents already know that their screeching children are annoying the people around them? What good does it do to inform them of your annoyance? It won’t make the kid stop.
And maybe you need to realize that you are in a public place and that maybe there will be people/kids that annoy you. If you don’t want to put up with annoying people/kids, I suggest you don’t go out.
And I don’t think I need to tell you that beating kids is no longer an acceptable form of punishment, so us parents have to be much more creative in disciplining our kids.
February 2, 2011 at 8:38 pm #715970
jwwsParticipantFebruary 2, 2011 at 8:47 pm #715971
maudeParticipantMany college professors have told me the very same thing about my writing. I like to mix tenses too, often in the same sentence. Spelling used to be my forte, going to the district spelling bee’s several times in grade school. Apostrophes still trip me up, as do commas. And I can go on and on and on in one paragraph about many, many things. Though I’m being pretty restrained today, what I need most often is a censor. Also, I would like a list of the robot restaurants. They sound like a hoot!
February 2, 2011 at 8:49 pm #715972
mirabileMemberA couple walks into a restaurant…
Maitre d’: Ah, welcome to Chez Chez. Will there be two of you this evening?
Couple: Yes, two please.
Maitre d’: Excellent. Will that be children or non?
Couple: Non-children.
Maitre d’ (consulting his list): Ah, I’m so sorry but our non-children section is completely full. We do have a table open in the children section though…
Couple (without hesitation): We’ll wait.
February 2, 2011 at 8:54 pm #715973
bluebirdMemberMaude, I’m going to guess any place that has the pleasure of your patronage, would be a hoot.
February 2, 2011 at 9:03 pm #715974
KBearParticipant“Spelling used to be my forte, going to the district spelling bee’s several times in grade school. Apostrophes still trip me up…”
Hilarious.
February 2, 2011 at 9:08 pm #715975
maudeParticipantMy parents fall into that category of people who never should have had children. I love my parents and their form of discipline was accepted back in the day. But taking your kids to the tavern and leaving the kids in the car for an hour (or however long it takes you to have a few beers) isn’t model parenting. If I were in the same situation I might be resentful of having to do the right thing (not leave my kids in the tavern parking lot) when I really want to have a beer with grownups. And my mom was a stay-at-home mom. So she had to hear us fight and bicker all day long. Can’t really fault her for wanting to get away from that.
Pixel pusher: I don’t think I accused parents of not caring. I did say that I understand how parents can tune it out. I’m not around kids that much so I haven’t honed that skill.
February 2, 2011 at 9:13 pm #715976
KBearParticipant“Don’t you think the parents already know that their screeching children are annoying the people around them? What good does it do to inform them of your annoyance? It won’t make the kid stop.”
Well, if the parents are obviously trying to do something about it, then I’d mind my own business. But if the parents are just sitting there allowing it to happen, I’d have to assume they’re unaware that it’s bothering other people. And if there’s nothing the parents can do to make it stop, then they should take their children home. The children may ruin the parents’ night out, but the parents have no right to allow them to ruin other peoples’ night out.
February 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm #715977
JoBParticipantFebruary 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm #715978
lucky chickMemberMy kids are my dogs.
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