DBP
Well, there may indeed be more to this story, but as far as I’m concerned the most telling part is already in there. It’s the part about how Olerud is trying to guilt-trip this guy into cutting his tree down. And who’s he citing as an authority?
Jesus Christ!
No, I’m not swearing, people. “Jesus Christ” is the correct answer.
Olerud’s words:
I’m just making the point that if you’re willing to cut down your own trees to maintain your view and yet you aren’t willing to offer that to your neighbor, how is that being a good neighbor?
“The Bible says, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength, and your neighbor as yourself.’ That’s Jesus’ commandment.”
Boy that’s really the topper. Isn’t that just the angel on top of this Christ-mas tree of a story?
How this Olerud dude could call himself a Christian out of one side of his mouth and say something like that out the other is beyond me.
Jesus was all about loving your neighbor, see? So that’s why YOU should cut down YOUR tree to enhance the view from MY mansion. Yup. That’s what Jesus would want YOU to do, neighbor. I’m sure of it.
Excuse me Mr. Olerud . . . Do they have Cocoa Puffs on Planet Cuckoo? ‘Cuz you’re gonna need ’em.
How could a person possibly twist Jesus’ words so much without having them snap back in his own face?
This is why I’ll never be a Christian, folks. It’s not that I don’t want to be a good person and do right by God and all that. I do. I just can’t bring myself to subscribe to any theology where people can interpret it the way John Olerud does while keeping a straight face.
And he’s not alone on Planet Cuckoo, either. Look at what that other fool-headed woman said.
Just look!
Nancy Dammkoehler, a neighbor who spoke at the hearing, said the Oleruds are reasonable people and scolded Baker: “All they want is to see the top of the Space Needle. If you can’t figure this out, boy, I tell you, you’d better find a different line of work, buddy, because you’re not very Christian.”
This lady must be another fat-cat “Christian” as well, though what good it’s doing her troubled soul, I couldn’t say.
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Think about this a second.
Cogitate on it.
John Olerud
► College Baseball Hall of Famer
► $20 million contract with the Mariners
► Wife and kids, the whole nine yards
► Still loved by millions, he retires after 17 seasons and builds himself a mansion in a uber-swanky enclave of an already swanky suburb
But our hero’s still not happy. No. Something’s troubling him over there in Clyde Hill.
Who could it be, John? Who’s wrecking your early retirement?
Let’s see. You’re a Christian, right? Maybe you’re upset about all the havoc Satan is doing in the world.
–Nope. Not Satan.
Um. I know! Is it that socialist in the White House?
–What, the dude from Kenya? Nope. Not him either.
[ . . . ]
Is it . . . DBP?
–Look, I just told you it wasn’t Satan! Weren’t you listening?
Well, who is it then, John? For God’s sake . . tell us!
–I’ll tell ya who it is. It’s that bastard across the street who won’t cut his tree down so I can see the Space Needle!
Ahhhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha