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April 17, 2009 at 7:02 pm #590533
AdamOnAlkiParticipantLets us all start by agreeing on two things: she was not THAT good, and she was not THAT ugly.
Yes, planet earth, I am talking about the precious media darling of the moment Susan Boyle, the courageous woman who worked through her supposedly beastly unattractiveness to “wow the world” by singing her heart out on “Britain’s Got Talent”. After her performance, footage of her amazing the oft mean-spirited Simon Cowell hit the internet and people began raving that she is a beacon of inspiration for a sad world and a wake-up call for the how far the undying passion of the human spirit can carry us all.
WHAT?!?
OK, all this love is based on the two above incorrect factors: she is a great singer and she is butt-ugly. One, yes, she IS a very good singer. But she was in no means jaw-falling-on-the-ground remarkable. Good? You betcha. Great? We have all heard better performances this year on American Idol or on one of your local FM stations and the only reason people are losing their lid over her is because she is some supposed horse-person. Which brings me to part 2: She is NOT THAT UGLY! Yes, she is no magazine cover girl (well, NOW she is) and I don’t suppose we will be seeing her mug on the cover of a lingerie catalog in the near future, but I saw uglier people than her on the subway last night. What she is, is old and British. That is what they look like! Watch the BBC! That is their look! This video didn’t blow up and become a viral sensation until it hit America because Americans were amazed at her hideousness. English people weren’t going crazy over it. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THAT! They don’t want to cause a scene over her atrocious dome-piece because she looks just like their grandmother.
What Susan Boyle did was sing very well and surprise a great number of people, but in no way was her performance a world-changing event like so many are attempting to make it out to be. In no way has my life been changed since Susan Boyle came into my life. And do you know who I feel much worse for thanks to this? Paul Potts. What Paul did was MUCH more impressive in my eyes and he hasn’t gotten so much of a sniffle of the attention Susan is getting. A darn shame. So in summery, Susan Boyle is not that ugly and she is not that ball-bustingly phenomena of a singer. Stop all the hype.
Secondly, their was another mass shooting rampage yesterday in California. Along with the recent shootings in upstate New York, Alabama, Germany and pretty much everywhere these last few weeks, it seems pretty en vogue to go out and carry out an execution-style rampage on those around you. Which brings up my point: call me greedy for attention, but if I was to go on a mass shooting rampage, I would at least wait until there was a bit of a “lull.”
With all of the other shootings that have been happening in the past month, yesterdays (which took the lives of three innocent people) has already been lost in the shuffle. It didn’t get front-page media attention and odds-are, the shooters message to the world will never be heard as he wanted it to. And that is his own fault. We saw this in the late 90’s with school shootings. First Columbine hits and the world is rocked. Then 16 other schools get shot up and the nations empathy drops increasingly with each new shooting. SPACE THEM OUT!
Not that I am in any way condoning mass murder, but if I was the shooter, I would at least wait to make it worth my time! Sure, the people will die either way, but these guys aren’t just doing it for the body-count, they are doing it for the press and their agenda and psychotic mission statement. Orchestrating your rampage, mere days after a similar one was carried out will not cause the unrest that you dreamed it will. Sorry! So unless you want your senseless crime to get lost in the shuffle, lets think a little bit here people!
In the words of comedian Pete Correale, “Can’t anyone fly a plane anymore?!?!?”
First the “Miracle on the Hudson,” then days later it was the plane that fire balled into a home in upstate New York, killing scores of passengers, then the plane that crashed in Montana taking out all on board, then the pilot who died over Florida and the passenger who made the miraculous landing and then this morning ANOTHER plane crashed, killing an unannounced amount of people in a residential Florida neighborhood.
Who is running flight schools these days?!?!?
Not that I approve of what they used their skills for, but at least those 9/11 hi-jackers knew what they were doing when they got into the cockpit. From the outside, it seems the only requirement for flying a plane right now is two hands and the upper-half of a suit! No one WANTS the plane they are piloting to crash, but what has changed in the last four months that everyone suddenly has lost grips on how to operate the expensive and life-entrusting piece of machinery they trained tirelessly to learn how to operate?
Geese? Shuttup.
April 17, 2009 at 7:07 pm #664621
WSBKeymasterWhere are you performing this monologue tonight (or maybe it was last night)? Just curious.
April 17, 2009 at 7:18 pm #664622
AdamOnAlkiParticipantHa. Probably nowhere. I was just feeling ranty today. It’ll probably just end up on my blog and the top chunk (Susan Boyle) will get sent to a music site that I sometimes write for. No comedic plans for this stuff tho.
I will be at Stand Up New York tonight if you are in Manhattan!
April 17, 2009 at 8:02 pm #664623
squareeyesParticipantI agree, she’s not the circus freak that the media is touting her to be – she could do with a good eyebrow tweeze, a color rinse, and new hair style, and she’d be your buddy’s mom. I do think she looks much older than 47, but not every woman is a maven of moisturizer, sunscreen, and spackle (thanks for being a maven, mom!).
I do, however, disagree with you about her voice – I found it beautiful.
April 17, 2009 at 8:10 pm #664624
JanSParticipantyou said…”what she is is OLD and British”…I take issue on the “old” thing. She’s 47, for G-d’s sake…old? what world are you in? I’m 62, and I’M NOT OLD. It’s a number, and that’s all. Adam, you need a trip back to West Seattle…NY is rubbing off on you too much :)
April 17, 2009 at 9:01 pm #664625
JoBParticipantshe is a stout 47 year old woman who looks like 47 year old women used to look when i was a sweet young thing.. who wears very sensible shoes and sensible stockings and a very sensible dress…
even with a make-over she will never look like a star.
What I respect about her is that she never gave up on her dream.. no matter how many people looked at her and smirked when she told them what it was.. and that when given the opportunity.. she delivered… and then started to leave the stage because she was done.
She is what she is… and was comfortable enough to be what she is in front of a huge audience…
now, it’s possible she created the image on purpose just to sell her talent..
but somehow i doubt it. she wore it too well.
you don’t have to be but ugly to be dismissed in our culture.. you just have to be middle aged and unretouched ;(
the leap from Susan Boyle to mass shooting rampages must be one of those comedic shifts i don’t get…
but good luck on stage tonight… is telling you to break a leg appropriate or jinxing your commute?
April 17, 2009 at 9:07 pm #664626
datamuseParticipantyou don’t have to be but ugly to be dismissed in our culture.. you just have to be middle aged and unretouched ;(
I think this right here is a big part of why she’s getting so much attention…and how much does it say about us that we’re amazed when an ordinary-looking person turns out to be the slightest bit exceptional?
April 17, 2009 at 10:03 pm #664627
AnonymousInactiveThere are more reasons for being dismissed then middle aged and untouched. Look at how people make a face when they see overweight men or women. Sometime it seems like overweight people have a less value to most people which is no good.
April 17, 2009 at 10:16 pm #664628
WSBKeymasterTigre, as a Person Of Size, I couldn’t agree with you more – it shouldn’t be that way but it is. To compound matters, I am ENTIRELY unretouched. No Botox. No haircolor. No makeup. No jewelry. Those are my choices, though, and I am absolutely on board with whatever anyone else chooses to do or not do, live and let live … my size, however, I did not choose. (And a warning here, any fat-bashing is grounds for deletion – WSB ground rules include no criticism related to physical traits and other traits with which we are born, which include gender, size, sexual orientation, etc.)
To the point of the talent competition … I wish American Idol would let people of any age (and any degree of looks) compete, too … with whatever singing voice I have left from a musical youth, I would try out just for the hell of it. I believe their cutoff is somewhere in the mid-20s, or at least it was when I was working at a FOX network affiliate. For heaven’s sake, at that age you are barely figuring out who you are :)
April 18, 2009 at 1:15 am #664629
JoBParticipantLowmanbeach…
have you discovered the number one detective agency on HBO yet? The principal player is a woman of “traditional build” :))))))
April 18, 2009 at 3:44 am #664630
alki_2008ParticipantWSB ground rules include no criticism related to physical traits and other traits with which we are born
Does this mean we shouldn’t be bashing rich people that were born into extreme wealth?
April 18, 2009 at 4:21 am #664631
WSBKeymasterBeing born into wealth, or poverty, or a blue house, or Seattle, or Buenos Aires, isn’t a trait. It’s a circumstance.
April 18, 2009 at 4:35 am #664632
alki_2008ParticipantTouche.
However, there are plenty of folks that would argue ‘size’ isn’t a trait either…height moreso (although malnutrition can play some role), but weight not so much. There are plenty of folks working hard to adjust their ‘size’, and saying that they’re just ‘born’ that way kinda diminishes their efforts.
This doesn’t mean that everyone should be the same size, but there is ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’…and plenty of people wouldn’t want to hear that their situation is unchangeable because they’re just ‘born this way’.
Just sayin’
April 18, 2009 at 4:48 am #664633
celeste17ParticipantJoB I love that book series. Although I read to many of the all in a row so I am a little burned out on them right now.
TR-I to wish that American Idol would allow any age to try out. I was pleased this last season of Top Model that the winner was a regular sized woman. Although the modeling world deemed her plus size because she was a size 8.
April 18, 2009 at 5:16 am #664634
JanSParticipantI recently watched the beginning of the series based on that book on HBO at a friend’s house. I’m jealous, since I don’t subscribe to HBO. It’s a wonderful show. The lead is played by singer Jill Scott..she’s amazing in the roll….
April 20, 2009 at 2:58 am #664635
AdamOnAlkiParticipantAnd whats the deal with corn-nuts? I mean, is it CORN, or is it a NUT?
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