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April 17, 2009 at 7:19 pm #664580
AlkiKmacParticipantCome on! So what if you get off at a different stop? Don’t you ever run errands on the way home? Maybe you need to stop at a friends house on the way home? Maybe you’re going to help someone? My gosh. If you’re too scared to change your routine a bit, you’ll never meet anyone, much less this woman. The only way it would look obvious is if you make it look obvious. Be cool, don’t sweat. You know, you could always try it once and not say a word to her…like establish a new pattern by doing it once a week. Geez…get creative!
April 17, 2009 at 8:06 pm #664581
JanSParticipantAlkiKMac, I’m with you. One of my favorite sayings is..”Everything Is Sweetened by Risk”
Lowery…you need to just take some initiative…she won’t know by osmosis or mind-meld, for goodness sake…
April 18, 2009 at 12:36 am #664582
JiggersMemberLowery..I just started riding the 56 bus and saw who your talking about. You better get on it fast because I’m ready to pounce on her.
April 18, 2009 at 1:00 am #664583
cjboffoliParticipantI can’t believe this thread is still running. Now I’m thinking that the WSB should find out which 56 bus this woman is on and do an interview with her. She’s becoming an internet celeb and she doesn’t even know it.
April 18, 2009 at 5:18 am #664584
EmmyJaneParticipantLowery- you have to try all the ideas now and report back to us on how each works… you could turn this into a dating-advice thread :-)
Btw- I think its funny how many people have referred to themselves as pretty good looking in the PAST. you’re all still hot i’m sure.
April 18, 2009 at 6:10 am #664585
AlkiRagdollParticipantSure wish I rode the 56. Dont hand her a card — as a single women, I dont care how cool you are, but unless I know you I would not take it and it would turn me off. Rather, the complement to start a conversation (or just talk to me) would work on me, but be sincere.
April 18, 2009 at 5:02 pm #664586
AimParticipantI agree with AlkiRagdoll. Being handed a card or a note would not work for me, as it would force ME to call HIM. And what do you say, “hi you gave me your card… uh… what did you want?” No, she’d not call you, and then it would be all weird when you saw her on the bus again.
The person who suggested treating her to a pedicure? Fun idea and creative, but I’ve met too many guys who have foot fetishes (not that there is anything wrong with that…) But I’d automatically assume he just wanted to gawk at my feet getting a pedicure and it would freak me out. Plus some people truly hate pedicures.
I really think it’s best to catch her eye and simply say hello. Another time say hello again and say something like “hey I see you all the time and wanted to introduce myself.” And then do it, and allow her to make the next move. She’ll either say hi and move away, meaning she’s not interested, or she’ll introduce herself back and continue chatting.
Either way, don’t make it a big “thing” — even if it is in your own head. I mentioned before the guy who says “hi you look nice today” to every woman outside my work. I thought about it, and the reason it creeps me out is that the way he says it doesn’t sound sincere in the least. It’s like his shrink gave him an assignment to talk to 10 women a day, and he’s just doing it to follow orders. It’s totally creepy.
I really do wish you luck. I think most women would be flattered by a sincere hello and honest interest. If she’s not, she’s the douche, not you. :)
April 18, 2009 at 5:14 pm #664587
HunterGParticipantLowrey –
There is nothing more attractive than being genuine and having confidence.
Get your big boy pants on, go up to her and say hello. Don’t offer explanations, don’t say…I never said hi because I didn’t want to creep you out (there is actually nothing more creepy than that.)
Say hi, introduce yourself and smile. If she’s not a Bi#ch, she will probably talk to you. AND if she doesn’t and you feel it’s worth another shot – go for it, try again.
This one guy pursued me for close to five years – I would scream at him, get him removed from my place of work, I did almost everything it took to get him to leave me alone…and you know what happened?
I married him.
Live in the moment, life isn’t meant to be easy, if it was, it wouldn’t be worth living.
April 18, 2009 at 7:42 pm #664588
JiggersMemberHanding a note or card is like being in the 8th grade. Either you got ballz or not.
April 18, 2009 at 8:58 pm #664589
cruiserMemberHow about “Hi there I’m ….. I told all of West Seattle via the WSB how I think you’re really nice, and that I could never go up and say hi..well now I have”….
Good luck
April 18, 2009 at 11:38 pm #664590
trensuelaMemberWhen I was younger and more single I enjoyed practicing the art of non-verbal flirting with women on the bus. Subtle changes in how one carries oneselft can make a huge difference and these are the things women more than men pick up on (women are generally more perceptive).
So touch your hair while looking out the corner of your eye, see how see responds. Have fun with it. As with all things in life, trial and error is not a bad means of getting somewhere.
April 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm #664591
AnonymousInactiveSo very true Trensuela. Make a casual stand, one hand in pocket. Look out the bus window like you are looking for something but have not yet found it.
Women love a man on a quest, and want to be on the quest with you.
April 19, 2009 at 3:33 pm #664592
WSMomParticipantI think the note idea is a good one. My husband left a note on my car 22 years ago and I was completely charmed. You could include a self addressed stamped envelope with which she can reply.
April 19, 2009 at 10:32 pm #664593
LoweryMemberJiggers, regarding your post “Lowery..I just started riding the 56 bus and saw who your talking about. You better get on it fast because I’m ready to pounce on her.” Have at it, man. At least invite me to the wedding. I’ll just be sitting over here singing to myself…”it was just my imagination, once again, runnin away with me. It was just my imagina-ation running away with me…”
I thank you all for your feedback but the one that spoke the loudest to me was herongrrrl’s that said that she would put on her headphones and take out a book specifically to send a message out to all, but there was a guy that didn’t get that memo so he made a play. I am not in any way, shape or form trying to put any blame on herongrrrl. Honestly, I saw myself in her post – I put on my headphones with the intention of just being in my own little world on the bus ride to and from work. I really don’t want to be The Bus Girl’s story that she tells to people years later about the guy that didn’t get it.
Other posts on here have said that if she’s interested, she’ll make it known somehow. Since she hasn’t, no matter if it’s because she’s not interested in my looks or whatever or if it’s because she really enjoys her “me time” on the way to work, it’s really not my place to rattle that cage.
So again, thank you all. Now if any of you would like to meet me to throw things at me and call me names or just say hi, I’d love to meet y’all. With the weather getting better, anyone have any ideas for a WSB meetup soon? Maybe at Admiral Pub?
April 19, 2009 at 10:41 pm #664594
AnonymousInactivelowery you sound sad but dont give up so easy. These people that say she is no interested have a different experience and are not you.
I say to you, que esto ocurra. Novias están calientes en los pantalones. She will never know until you make it.
Ojo del tigre amigo.
April 19, 2009 at 11:38 pm #664595
herongrrrlParticipantAw, Lowery, I didn’t mean to pee in your cornflakes! :( Hang in there…there will be the day when her battery dies or she forgets her headphones, or like I said some weird thing happens that gets riders talking to each other, and there’s your chance. I was just trying to say, don’t pass a note. THAT was what came across as creepy to me in the incident I was talking about. Watch for your opportunity, and when it strikes, take it! And good luck to you!!
April 19, 2009 at 11:45 pm #664596
pigeonmomParticipantYou will show up this time?
April 20, 2009 at 12:39 am #664597
The Velvet BulldogParticipantOr…you could just make something up to start a conversation. Like, “Hi, I know I recognize you from riding the bus, but do you also know (insert name of friend here) I’m wondering if I saw you at a get-together or something?” Or…”I see you on the bus all the time–were you at Beveridge Place Pub the other night?” and when she answers “No” you can say, “Oh, sorry–I thought maybe I knew you from somewhere else other than the bus. By the way, my name’s Lowery…” and put out your hand for a handshake. It may not garner a date, but it will give you a read on whether or not she’s open to conversation.
April 20, 2009 at 1:29 am #664598
trensuelaMemberTacos Del Norte,
You are absolutely correct in your sage advice, “Women love a man on a quest”.
This is inline with the Dao of Steve. It is very important that a man do something excellent in the presence of the sought after female homo sapien.
April 20, 2009 at 1:46 am #664599
LeroniusmonkfishMemberBuy a car and tell her that “her days of riding the bus are over”…it works everytime. :)
April 20, 2009 at 5:49 pm #664600
cakeitseasyMemberOP – unless you have poor hygiene habits, odd mannerisms, or some sort of repugnant, creepy trait, I doubt you will scare this person away. Confidence goes a long way. But whatever you do, don’t STARE. Staring really freaks people out.
By the way, have you thought what you might do if you DO get her attention? What if SHE turns out to be, you know, creepy? What if she opens her mouth and sounds like Marge Simpson or something? Or maybe she’s not into dudes? Or maybe she’s psycho?
It’s not like you should be thinking of asking her out on a date just yet, sheesh. Just strike up idle chit chat. I know this is Seattle, and people are socially retarded when it comes to making idle chit chat with strangers start with “do you mind if I sit here” and a little smile (no teeth…’smile lite’), and see how she responds. If she doesn’t recoil in horror, maybe bring up the weather…etc. Get it?
By the way, @ #2, I agree that’s the case many times.
April 21, 2009 at 12:41 am #664601
kmMemberL.A.M.E. Lowery! Did I read your post right? You are giving up before you ever started?! I am a 20-something year old…recently married but still remember my single days since they weren’t that long ago (1 year ago). You chose to listen to herongrrl because she gave you the easy way out. I used to do what your crush does and take out the head phones and book but NOT to ignore people around me. I did it because it was just a slow time that I could possibly use to catch up on reading. Interrupt her reading! Comment on her book! You could even just sit by her once and not say anything…eventually you could say hi when you get the courage. Don’t wimp out – just start by smiling and saying a quick hi. See where it takes you. Whatever you do DON’T give her a business card though.
April 21, 2009 at 12:51 am #664602
cjboffoliParticipantTrensuela: I think you’re over-simplifying the Tao of Steve. To follow that philosophy he’d have to focus on being desireless (not liking the girl) and engineering a situation where she pursues him. “We pursue that which retreats from us.” Remember?
Not to mention that film’s protagonist had lots of game. As soon as he stops caring about getting the girl to like him he loses all fear and can approach her and talk to her about anything.
April 21, 2009 at 1:04 am #664603
JoBParticipantLowry..
hubby puts on earphones and reads on the bus. He also wears a wedding ring… and he is pretty shy…
yet he meets people who like him enough to say hello to him when we are out and about…
You won’t meet anyone if you stay in your self-assigned seat on the bus.. you have to speak or people think you aren’t interested in being spoken to…
hubby does say good morning… and occasionally he even says hello:)
if you are waiting for that one woman who you have been pining after to get up out of her seat and come sit in your lap you are going to be waiting a long time….
April 21, 2009 at 5:16 pm #664604
inactiveMemberLowery –
Best advice given @ 35, 43, 46.
For sure, don’t stare (46);
confidence and a pursuit which rattles cages a bit can be a good thing – even a little fibbing in the heroic journey will make for great stories on anniversaries (43) and, finally;
self-disclosure, self-deprecating humor and humility in the right package can be totally compelling as well(35).
Don’t be so negative or hard on yourself! You might be letting this get all blown out of proportion before you are even sure of whether she’s worth the concern.
But do try SOME thing and whatever the outcome you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you at least took a risk; you will build some risk-taking muscle to use for the next girl on the bus who catches your eye. Yes? Yes.
Good luck!
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