Rant: Strangers parenting my children

[EdSane]

http://rochester.ynn.com/content/top_stories/669997/da-wants-charges-against-jesse-daniels-dropped/

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[F16CrewChief]

wsmama3 – Not to hijack this thread, even though I think I already did:-) But I was raised by my single mother. There was three of us. My mother did everything she could to raise us the best she was able to. My brother and me were taught at young ages to use our “Please” and “Thank you’s”, open doors for women and elders, especially those carry something or had children, walk on the outside of a women or child down a sidewalk and so on. My mother also taught us to mind our business, we don’t know what the other person is going through. but if we can help, lend your hand, not your mouth. I think some adults are just bullies. They see kids and just want to flex their muscles, much like the guy who started yelling at my son. I mean, hell, after he told my son to get off the rock, my son did. The guy did not have to continue to lecture, let alone start raising his voice at my son after my son did what the guy told him to. And that is why I think society in whole has lost it’s manners and have become rude. It’s sad to read some of the responses of people here. I will agree, there is a fair share of children that receive bad parenting or no parenting. But again, that goes back to a lot of adults themselves have horrible manners.

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[Cait]

I think that we can all agree that the incidents recounted here fall into two categories: things that people need to speak up about and instances where they need to mind their own damn business.

Just like there are inattentive and inconsiderate parents, there are also overly ballsy and intrusive people. Parents probably deserve the benefit of the doubt in most situations – ushering children through life isn’t easy and sometimes it’s out of our control which is embarrassing.

HOWEVER. If it’s clear to me that you are not paying attention to your kid or that you seem to think that your kid kicking my seat isn’t a big deal – I will say something. I think most of the anger that is directed at people who do this stems from embarrassment. We get it – no one wants to seem like they (or their child) is being inconsiderate… however, it happens. And you cannot expect people to just sit idly by while your kid gets in their space. You have to understand that to people with their own kids or no kids at all – it’s unfair to expect us to just sit idly by while your special snowflake swings whatever they’re holding in their hand in huge circles in a crowded grocery stores.

Talking to parents about seat kicking – OK.

Getting in someone’s face over a hat – NO WAY.

Yes?

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[JustSarah]

Exactly, Cait. People are talking about two different categories of behavior, and obviously there’s no blanket OK/not OK for all behavior. That’s what I was trying to say above. Both sides here are working themselves up over nothing.

And if my kid is being especially disruptive or doing something dangerous and for some reason I’m unavailable or too self-absorbed or indulgent to correct the behavior, I’m OK with someone saying something to him. And if they’re just being a cranky a-hole, I’m OK with telling them to mind their own business. I am sure there will be times my blood pressure rises from the stress, but so be it. Like singularname said above, “I took that whole people commenting on my kid thing in stride–thanked and/or apologized if I thought they were right, dirty look if I thought they were wrong.” Then move on. If you believe you’re doing what’s best for your family, a person’s comment disagreeing with your choice shouldn’t be so upsetting. :-) Make a snide remark about me nursing in public? My blood will boil at your ignorance, but I’m secure in my choice to feed my baby, so I shake it off. Easier said than done, I know.

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[Gina]

I agree with jiggers.

And the monsters under the check out at TJ’s cracked me up. I’m the person that parents tell not to encourage their children in mischief.

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