H is for Homeless : An experiment in social consciousness

[DBP]

Greetings Blogizens. David Preston here, with another literary experiment.

In the coming days I’ll be publishing some journal entries from a woman (I’m calling her “H.”) who has given me this information on the understanding I’d be sharing it with you.

H. is currently living in a place which, like H. herself, shall remain nameless — though I’m sure you know exactly which place it is.

No names or other sensitive information will be included in the material I put up here. My purpose is neither to embarrass or annoy anyone; rather, it is to create a small window through which we might get a glimpse of this woman’s experience.

In return for the favor H. is doing us by sharing her thoughts, I would ask you, the Blog community, to kindly refrain from making any comments (negative or positive) regarding H. or the information she’s sharing. If there’s too much chatter on the thread, I’ll just call it off.

Thanks in advance for indulging me this one time. I promise I’ll never ask you to do it again.

Talk to you soon . . .

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[Jiggers]

H–doesn’t have to be a woman only that’s experiencing the H–problem too.

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[Betty T]

I’m really anxious to see what she has to say. Could be very informative.

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[JanS]

jiggers,,,no, it doesn’t have to be a woman..but…THIS time it is…

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[munchkin22]

Anxiously awaiting…..

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[JoB]

:)

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[DBP]

Remember my friends: No comments after this point, please. If you want to comment directly to me about anything you see here, my e-mail address is:

      DP_Editor at comcast dot net

Thank you for your understanding.

–David

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The Journal of H.

1-5-12

Funny that it’s 2012 now. For some, a Goddess #’d year (2 + 1 + 2 = 5), for others 12/12/12 is supposed to mark the end of time as we know it. For today, though, I awakened to a crow teasing my cats by standing outside my tent door. It’s been doing it for the past few days.

I “borrowed back” the tea kettle that was “borrowed” whilst water boiled in it and brought it back to the west side’s camp area so we could have coffee this morning. I’m going to see if I can find a sturdy thrift store pot either today or tomorrow. Just so we no longer have to “borrow” from each other. End of the Battle of the Kettle.

________ is one community, but there is/are clearly defined east + west sides to it, each with its own community fire area. A pot might be better than a kettle, too. The other day there was a milky white substance in it. Nobody knows what it was.

I’m currently at the laundromat washing + drying slightly mildewed clothes. I can find no leaks in my tent, but everything gets quite damp from condensation, impotent seams, and endlessly pouring rain. I kick my boots off before crawling into my tent to limit the mud + dirt.

I tried to figure out whether I’d be able to visit DSHS while doing laundry or to wait til the laundry was done, in case there’s a delay. It’s not fun to carry around laundry while running errands, but it’s probably wisest. Also, I’m not sure where I’m going, exactly, or what I need to ask for. “Help” is obvious. Beyond that, though?

Of the things today I can be grateful for: a day without rain + busfare for errands. The bar fairy has missed me. We all dread being barred, and it can happen easily + makes us homeless folk vulnerable – more so than we already are.

[Material redacted by David Preston]

My main concern is for my 2 cats. If I am barred, so are they. Where would we go? How?

There are stray cats here now. Collateral damage, I guess. Their owners left them behind. This simply is not an option [for me]. My guys are my family. I am weighing in on seeking a foster home for them, just in case.

–H.

To be continued . . .

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[DBP]

 

1-7-12

I handed in my first blog journal to Dave the other day. I’m not sure if it can be used. We’ve since discussed parameters (no slander, no camp politics, etc.). The no slander is pretty easy. Politics is another story. Everything about how we live, where we live, and why all has some shade of political/camp policy attached to it. Still, I will do my best to honor this parameter.

I brought out my kettle yesterday. The barter was my kettle + water for another camper’s grounds. We were willing to share with others. We made the mistake of leaving the fire to do different things. Folks used the water, + we ended up using fresh water + some instant coffee. I suppose I’m happy the kettle was there still. That’s always a plus.

I spent the day cleaning the tent + replacing the indoor litter pan. Up until now, the litter pan had been a trash bag folded into a pan-shape then filled with shredded paper. It later mutated into a cardboard box with low sides lined with a trash bag + filled with some combination of paper and litter. The need for a real pan was clear, over time.

I repurposed my religiously holy FEMA blankets (these cannot be washed, and have more large holes than Swiss cheese) into carpet for the litter area. As I cleaned, I noticed water under my plastic mattress. I don’t know where it came from. Condensation?

I am grateful for the people who donate food, and am often amazed that they come to our tent city regardless of the cold, the rain and the wind gusts capable of sending tents flying. I read somewhere that it is crucial to think of at least 3 things each day that I am grateful for. [People who donate food] is clearly one thing we are ALL grateful for.

Wetwipes. We would build a shrine to the inventor of baby wipes. Most of us cannot afford bus fare to get downtown to the hygiene centers that often, but we like being clean. Wetwipes are a happy medium. (Remember the Saturday night baths? Like our ancestors, we are “camp-clean.”)

In defense of porta-pots and Honey Buckets, I rather like them, now. I no longer feel guilty every time I flush a toilet, as it is a waterless system. Still, for those of us on diuretics, or with other medical problems, it is difficult at best to navigate out of our tents (or into shoes, clothing prior to this), over our pets, across the camp and into a commode . . . in time to avert disaster. I’ve yet to have food poisoning or other stomach ailments here, luckily. The same scenario would apply, I’m sure.

Finally, I am eternally grateful for the Compass Center + the existence of hygiene centers downtown. We all are. We can get our clothes clean, check our mail, and have a 15-minute shower. I’ve found that if I brush my teeth in my tent, I can usually do the 15 minutes — the 15 minutes start from the time you leave the [Compass Center main] desk — without someone pounding on the door. The trick is to limit what you wear in/out to save time. It sucks in cold weather, though.

There is, sadly, a fourth thing that I am shamefully grateful for, and that is the existence of other homeless people such as myself. In CA, there is a serial killer preying on us. Here, there are numerous stories of rapes, thefts + assaults attributable to living outside of a homeless community. Thefts and “tent invasions” happen a lot, even here. As far as I know, no rapes have occurred while I’ve been here. Assaults? Maybe. Hazing, absolutely, if that is what you choose to call it.

—H.

 

Editors note: material in brackets [like this] has been added for clarity.

 

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[Jiggers]

I read that story on that killer on the loose in California killing homeless people last week. He deserves the death penalty regardless.

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[Betty T]

I’m glad to hear the honest thoughts and comments from this person.

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[charlabob]

Thank you H..this is truly eye opening and may change some attitudes, though the WS community truly seems to show great generosity from the beginning.

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[DBP]

 

1-8-12

One of the campers has a cat that is ill. Stomach problem? Thankfully, he is able to take it to the vet this morning. We are linked to FurryFriends [sic], and a few other pet-friendly organizations. My guy is due for shots, so I need to pay attention to the shot clinic dates/locations. There is a dilemma regarding my senior citizen kitty. He is quite old, and vaccination wasn’t advised. But we had an apartment at that time. Now we live in a tent surrounded by rats and raccoons. Is it still inadvisable?

My other dilemma involves leaving my cats while I run errands. I don’t like the idea of tent invasions or practical jokes being played at the expense of my pets while I’m away.

For the most part, I like my neighbors, but I am also acutely aware that they can’t always be around, and even if they could, there’s an “I see nothing” attitude that prevails. It’s just the way it is. Some of us do our best to look out for each other, but . . .

It’s still not raining and not cold.

—H.

 

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[Betty T]

I sure hope the sick kitty doesn’t have a bad thing that’s catching. Would hate to see it spread.

I’m sure evryone’s doing their best to keep warm right now. When I leave Nickelsville it doesn’t leave my mind. Take care H wherever you are.

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[cclarue]

Betty like you i am always thinking of them. And hoping they are ok in this cold!

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[JoB]

i am pretty sure the sick kitty is ok..

residents are very proactive about getting sick pets to the vet now that they know where their resources are.

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[Betty T]

Waiting for more from H.

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[DBP]

*************************************************************************************

I appreciate the supportive comments. However, I repeat my earlier request to the Blog community to please refrain from commenting on this thread.

Reason 1: I’m trying to maintain continuity between the journal entries so it feels like a journal, rather than a dialogue.

Reason 2: H. might be reading this thread, and I don’t want her to feel that she needs to respond to comments or explain herself in any way. If she sees comments, it may affect what she writes or cause her to stop writing, and that would not be good.

If you have questions about this, or if you want me to pass a comment or question on to H., please e-mail me directly at DP_Editor at comcast dot net.

Thanks again for your understanding.

–David

*************************************************************************************

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[DBP]

 

 

1/10/12 [last week]

 

It’s Tuesday. Monday was hijacked by the need to move my tent to a dry pallet. There is a thing I call “Street People Time” (SPT). It’s true that everyone, everywhere has something that comes up suddenly once in a while. Priorities and schedules shift accomodatingly. Grudgingly.

Street People Time runs alone those lines. The difference is that for the regular world it (rescheduling) is the exception to the rule. In Street People Time, reshuffling priorities + tasks is the rule, not the exception.

For example, yesterday’s [journal] log wasn’t done because I spent the entire day fixing my tent + moving to the pallet next to mine. It started out as a simple five to fifteen-minute job, though.

A seasoned camper was going to show me how to fix my tarp to lessen the mildew + dampness I experienced. We loosened the tarp and examined the tent. It was wet. We then looked at the pallets and found they were rotting. We got permission to move my tent to the next pallet. The seasoned camper is also an excellent handyman + wanted to make sure my tent was on a sound foundation.

To do any of this, I had to move my belongings out of the tent, clean and clorox it while the next pallet was made “tent-ready,” then put everything back together. When all was said and done, it was beginning to get dark.

—H.

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1-11-12

Last night wasn’t just cold, it was powerfully cold. I worried when the usual early a.m. campers weren’t around. Some showed up later. Some did not. The latter may’ve had the luxury of staying elsewhere. Many do, oddly enough. Some have local friends and family who allow them to stay once in a while.

Lunch came + went without enough to go around. While I went around the camp yelling “Hot lunch,” the food ran out, more or less. Most everyone got something, though. I had a small piece of chicken + some salad.

[Redacted] A lot of us share [food] well, and share happily. This, too, can be abused and mistaken as a sign of weakness.

The word “no” is in my vocabulary, and, I am sorry to say, it is now time for me to start using it with more frequency, simply because [not saying no] is being taken as a sign of weakness. Bartering is good, helping another camper is good. Paying forward is good. All good.

[Paragraph redacted]

If you looked at our community, it is as diverse as any other portion of society. There are the “usual” homeless folk, the stereotypical [redacted]. There are also people who choose homelessness and its lack of parameters. I’d argue against the idea of it being freedom. It simply is not the case; still, it’s a choice for some.

Who are we? —We are electronics techs, teachers, nurses, clerical workers, veterans . . . a couple of us are veterinarian assistants . . . computer techs, laborers, handymen, and more. We are all races & all religions. There are families here, and senior citizens with disabilities. A lot of us have pets. Many of us have health issues NOT related to mental illness. Some of us are 99%-ers whose benefits expired long before jobs were either found or created.

We are job hunters. Others are either on disability or have applied for it.

The majority of us are older, though; in the over-40 crowd. One thing I’ve noticed is that most of us have dental issues — even those of us who have never taken drugs and aren’t brawlers. [Could it be] malnutrition?

—H.

 

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[Jiggers]

I had an exceptional view of the snowdown early this morning from my sleeping bag. The building I use to crash has a great roof that overhangs/protects you from rain and snow to were you can’t be seen sleeping from the street. There’s lots of light to help deter the idiots that want to do drugs otherwise. It wasn’t that cold last night, and I’m from Hawaii. I maybe mental but just don’t know it yet.

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[DBP]

 

 

1-12-12

Another brutally cold night. S______ and C_______ [my cats] didn’t bother fussing about who would sleep where. Under the blankets, right next to me, the human electric blanket. I was panicking last night. I have a morning security shift and the battery in my alarm clock died suddenly. There is a wake-up list, but that’s a trek back into the cold. I took a battery from my shower radio as a quick fix. Missing a security [shift] means a bar.* I don’t really think the punishment fits the crime, but a bar is a bar.

Today is sunny and the sun is strong enough to beat away the cold air. I’m told the entire week is going to be this way. I slept with my gloves on, which was a big help, but my feet didn’t thaw until 2 a.m.

I finished my last security for the week + am (yet again) at the laundromat. I’m doing mine and another camper’s. He fixed my pallet and I’m doing his laundry. Barter makes our world go around. To be fair, he’s requested nothing in return; I’m doing this of my own accord. There are a couple of other people I’d like to thank similarly, or with a jar of coffee or pack of smokes. These are things I can only do over time, one at a time.

I’m going to show a camper how to get to the library downtown tomorrow. Today, though, I’m tired, hungry + thirsty, and am trying to be frugal. I picked up a flashlight and batteries at Bartell’s. I checked the clearanced holiday section + just ended up getting a bag of combs, for now.

I also got some foil, for “cooking.” I have a pack of steamed buns, blessedly frozen by the cold. They aren’t pre-cooked, I found out. I hope I can fully cook them on the grill. Cheaper than fast food.

Sleepy. Few of us have actually slept the past few nights. I have bus fare now, and I can start accomplishing things.

—H.

 

* A “bar” = being barred from camp for a longer or shorter period of time, depending on the offense. —Editor

 

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Friday, 1-___-12

I wonder if anyone has died from the shock of leaving their finally warm-enough-to-sleep blankets for the ice cold air of morning? I think it’s definitely possible.

I learned this morning (after I boiled water for coffee and instant oats) that this is now forbidden. Apparently we are no longer allowed to cook over the fire. There is a small propane burner we should use. There are approximately 100 of us at any given time, so there could be issues there. Prepared foods, if you have food stamps or an income, may be a (costly) option. Downtown soup kitchens (for those with bus fare) are another option.

Boiling water may or may not get you barred. That’s being looked into. I usually only boil water or heat a can of soup (in the can). This rule, I think, will be short lived, but who knows.

I went with another camper to the library. I wish someone had taken me downtown + showed me how to get to the necessary places. It’s easy to get lost. Knowing how to access the escalator [at] the downtown library is priceless.

I came back to find my tent targeted for a “bag-and-tag.”* Someone came and warned me that my tent was being looked at by the bag-and-tag team.

I had spoken with someone the night before: I moved my tent to the (empty) pallet next to me, as my platform was rotten + and my belongings in the back of the tent were in various states of wetness. Apparently, the tent address was still listed for a camper already gone, and that camper was scheduled for a bag-and-tag.

There’s just too much drama lately. When I showed up with a new kettle, another camper suggested it was hers. I keep receipts + have paid for it by debit card. It is mine.

Then there were comments about my tent not being the proper size for myself + 2 kitties. Other comments indicate [someone was] loitering around my cats and my tent in my absence. I check on my cats in between errands, and they are never without food + water. I clean their box daily. They are cared for. If anything, we need to heal. My cats don’t need strange people waiting for me to leave so they can visit with them. I pondered and fumed over this alternately. It should be nice that there are people concerned about my pets’ welfare. It does not feel like my pets’ welfare is really what this is about. They are never left for an entire day, either.

I will be so glad to have my own place again. Our own place. With locks. Tether free.**

If I’m going to get on my feet, I do have to leave the camp. I have to do things to improve our situation.

I’m tired of untangling tethers + re-untangling them. I’m tired of my cats hog-tying me as I try to leave the tent. When nightfall comes, I zip us all inside the tent, litter pan + all. We stay that way — untethered — until daylight. We are a family. I’d like us to stay that way.

—H.

Editor’s notes:

* “Bag-and-tag” refers to the process by which camp authorities dispose of a camper’s unclaimed belongings after the camper is gone.

** Some pets at camp are kept on tethers.

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Journal for Sat/Sun [1/14/12 – 1/15/12]

We were supposed to get snow, and we did. Oddly, Saturday felt like Sunday, and I was expecting the requisite [weekly camp] meeting. It wasn’t til later in the day that I realized it was Saturday. And Sunday felt like it should’ve been Monday.

I spent Saturday hitting the dollar store for prepared foods + some first-aid supplies. I picked up a shower curtain (mildew resisant) + some storage bags to put things in.

I’m writing in very dim light, huddled under my blankets. It occurs to me that the school-aged kids must be facing a similar challenge doing their homework. I lost my bad flashlight Saturday night, + a really good one last week. Pickpocket? Did I leave them at the campfire? Who knows. I picked up another and have vowed not to lose it.

We can cook again, I think.

Sunday was spent sweeping snow off tents. A few tents collapsed under the snow. People played frisbee and threw snowballs. One camper noticed I was wet from head to toe from sweeping tents. I debated changing into dry clothes, but the meeting was only an hour or so away. It’s easier to suck it up + change afterwards, crawl into my blankets and sleep.

The meeting was torturously long. In wet clothes, I waited for it to end, then boiled my heat packet and went to bed.

—H.

 

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Martin Luther King

Monday

Cold + huddling under the blankets this morning. I slept fairly well the night before but not last night. I have a shower radio, which I highly recommend. It takes 3 AA [batteries] but they last. NPR (?) was playing recordings of MLK JR’S 1967 speeches, etc. Many wre excerpts which nobody had heard before. Still, I dozed off a few times. I have my Security to do as well.

My boots are soaking wet, as are my gloves + hat. The rule of thumb here is to toss anything in this condition, as it will never dry. I toss very little. I have things hanging upside down or tipped inside my tent. My fingers are crossed.

I am fortunate in that there are good people here, never minding the bad. When I did my security, some of them checked on me and made sure I received a pair of the “Hotties” that were being passed out. This day, food wasn’t scarce, and, thankfully, people donated dry blankets, etc.

We have a camper missing. Nobody knows happened to him or if he’s ok.

—H.

 

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Tues 1/17/12

We ended last night boiling our pads, making cocoa + torching mallows. (One camper had hot chocolate packets, one had boiling water and I had marshmallows for roasting.)

One of the camping kids was being shown how to boil + use his pack. I’m not particularly kid-familiar, and am generally reluctant to offer anything w/o the parent’s permission. I’ve seen him eat candy before, so he joined us in the mallow toasting. I was impressed as I watched him methodically sterilize the tip of a stick in the campfire, then slowly flame his marshmallows so they browned evenly. —Me? I stuck my marshmallow straight into the fire.

I’ve my security shift to do now. Word has it that we are in for a doozy of a storm tonight/tomorrow. I’m thinking of how best to prepare and wishing I still had long johns.

–H.

 

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