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January 29, 2012 at 6:24 pm #744718
DBPMemberWed. Jan. 18th, 2012
I had to the replace the batteries in my lantern. My tent is much less dim, but still not well-lit. The day was cold + snowy. I’d peeked out of my tent at 3 AM to see the snow outside. The morning’s news advised everyone to stay home.
Early this morning people were up, sweeping off their tents. My neighbors and I all arose about the same time to someone shouting into tents, trying to determine if the tent was occupied. To our horror this person planned to [remove the snow from our tents in a vigorous fashion using] the business end of a shovel. We assured him that we would manage our own tents. All three of us are from “winter states,” and are fine with shaking our tarps + sweeping the remainder. [REDACTED]
The rest of the day went similarly.
[REDACTED comments about snowballs and children.]
I am not child-unfriendly. I am child-unfamiliar. When in doubt, I advise children to stay where their mothers can see them. The kids + other folks here, for that matter, are really no better or worse, behavior-wise, than in any other community. Let’s face it. No one really knows what their neighbors are like behind closed doors. The difference is that [people in ordinary communities] can go home and lock their doors. There’s a bit more space and sound-proofing to protect people from each other, too. None of that exists for us. There is no privacy at all. Nope none.
I am lucky here. My immediate neighbors are wonderful, decent people. We help each other and we like each other. They are intelligent, caring people. There is an empty pallet on either side of me, and I hope that either [any new neighbors that move in] will be just as amazing, or that we’ll all be in homes or on our way to our destinations before bad neighbors get in.
There’s a lot of drama in the camp right now, and [REDACTED].
We’re all homeless. We’re all homeless for different reasons. We all are trying to make our way in the world the best way we know how.
Right now we’re all cold, tired, and wet. Our gloves, shoes, socks and jackets are wet. We can wring water out of hats + hair. Why? Because we get warm + cook by our fire. We sweep the snow from each other’s tents, we carry wood and water, clothes and food, thankful that it exists. Amazed that donors come to help us on days like this. Amazed that donors come to help us at all.
By the end of the day, we are drenched. I made a passing joke to a camper. “Do ya think Hallmark’s got this kind of card?” How do you thank someone enough for your survival? Literally, without any of the above, survival is not probable. Homeless people die every day. We almost lost one of our most beloved campers due to poor health. Living here nearly killed him. The world could be losing one of its finer citizens . . .
—H.
January 31, 2012 at 7:43 pm #744719
DBPMemberThurs. 1/19
It is cold. It is muddy. It is icy. It is slippery. They Honey Buckets sit atop a small hill. Enough said.
An ice-storm warning is in effect until noon. People are advised to stay home. —Where? Stay where?
We spent a good deal of our time sweeping snow + ice off of our tents. We use donated toilet bowl brushes, brooms (if we have them) and anything that can be improvised.
The buses are on snow routes only, and way off schedule. It’s been over a week since I’ve checked my mail. The Compass Center will hold it for a while, then send it back; something I can’t afford to have happen.
On the bus, I chatted with another camper. Either the library will open at 1 PM or it will be closed today. The Compass Center IS open, but if I wash my hair, I will walk around the rest of the day with icicles all over me. Grateful as I am for the hygiene centers, one has 15 minutes to do everything. The fifteen minutes starts at the desk, when your name is called, and you pick up your towel and soap.
We — I like to think — are “camp-clean.”
Everyone has their own way of staying reasonably clean, even if they can only get to the [hygiene] centers once a week (or less often). Baby wipes, a bowl of hot (or cold) water mixed with liquid soap or shampoo for a sponge bath, and anything in between, are standard fare. We like being clean. We like wearing clean dry clothes. We do our best. Right now, my hands + nails are in rough shape, but I’m clean, overall.
I’m a little (or more) frustrated that I am not getting as much done as I’d like to. I about had a heart attack downtown, thinking I missed a security.* I made a beeline for the bus, and kept my fingers crossed all the way back to camp. Thankfully, I’m signed up for [redacted] and not today. Else, I’d be barred. (6 days? I’m not sure.)
One of the campers, who my cats adore, swept my tent while I was gone. There are people my cats actually look forward to seeing, and it does bring me peace knowing that my neighbor is in this group of campers. Eventually, he’ll be leaving on his [redacted] for parts unknown.
It’s 8:30 PM now. I’ve checked my mail. The library was closed and, after cleaning up the kitty puke, boiling my hotpad + sweeping off a few more tents, I am now freezing and under my blankets. It’s probably around 20 degrees (or less?). It was 27 degrees earlier.
The coffee pot is being used by one camper to make coffee on his security shift. When he’s done, he’ll bring it by the other camper’s tent. He has an overnight shift, but I can’t remember which one. I’ll wake him in the morning and get it from him to make coffee before my shift.
There are not enough hotties** in the world to get me warm right now. Eventually my blankets and I will warm each other. My cats seem ok. Not thrilled. But ok. I’m trying to contemplate my future, but right now, I just want to get warm.
—H.
* “security” = security shift
** reusable boilable heating pads
February 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm #744720
DBPMemberFriday, 1/20/12
Not a lot of sleep last night. I was tired and went to bed early, but instead of sleeping I caught up a little on my documentations + looked at my mail. Among them is a letter from DSHS. I have to go downtown for another interview for continued foodstamps. I was told there are no cash benefits now, unless I’m disabled. Ditto medical.
The camp is slippery with mud and ice. I’m trying to get tomorrow’s weather report. I was planning on doing laundry, as I’ve no dry socks at all. I throw another camper’s in with mine. Logistically, our clothes will get wet on the way back, anyway, defeating our purpose of getting dry. We’ve agreed to wait until tomorrow. We’re both (individually) huddled under our blankets.
As far as things to be grateful for:
1) My securities are done for the week.
2) I was gifted 2 frying pans, which opens up new sources of food + can be shared.
I’m trying to dry some clothes that are damp but not wet, or are wet just on the sleeves, etc., by putting them under the makeshift pillowy area at the top of the bed and then laying on it, or by putting them between blankets.
A lot of people went into shelters [when it snowed]. Those of us with pets cannot do this. But so far, so good. I am grateful.
The bicycling camp-neighbors may collaborate and leave together, heading toward [redacted], and then? I’ll miss them, but they have their journey and I, mine.
It’s now pouring rain. I’m in for the night. It’ll give me time to try to plan out what I’d like to get done next week. NPR says that rain will continue throughout the weekend. I don’t know when it’ll let up.
My clothes are getting muddy. Laundry, regardless of the weather, must be in my plans this weekend. [My cats] are huddling with me. Not really huddling, now quite snuggling either. A meeting of the minds, I guess, with them supervising my journaling.
—H.
February 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm #744721
DBPMemberSaturday
1/21/12
The rain and wind had a field day with us last night. [My cat] S____ tried his best to look aloof, while trying to burrow closer between myself and a cranky C____, who does not share well. I was hoping that between the rain and the wind, the ice + snow would be gone. I could hear the generator running in the brief periods of silence during the night. Normally it runs for two hours in the morning and two hours at night, so we can charge our electronics and [mobile phones].
The sump pump must’ve been running — we’re flooded. It’ll need to run today, too. Periodically, I’d hear someone march by, the snow and ice crunching between their feet. I am not sure who did sump pump duty, but I’m grateful. I know the campers in the flood zones are certainly thankful.
In terms of writing this, I [usually] write while I’m doing laundry, if I’m lucky — and today I was not only lucky to be able to get to the laundromat, but I actually had a ride up there, which never happens. I’ll take the bus #____ back, though. Which is more than fine. Beyond this, anything I do, I usually have to do from my tent, although sometimes the library is an option. Tents are cold. Tents are dimly lit at best, unless you can hold a flashlight in your mouth (we all do). Tents, for the most part, require you to lay down or sit on the floor.
Now, having said this, we have students and families living here. [REDACTED] Unless things have changed drastically, students usually have homework, and other outside-the-classroom work. The school bus picks them up and drops them off. It is up to the kids to figure out the rest. It really does set them up for failure. It is just so frustrating. Do they keep up? I don’t know. I only know how irritated I get when I try to read a book or log an entry while living in a tent, and I’m an adult. I’m not a student concerned about grades or due dates . . .
—H.
February 5, 2012 at 7:18 pm #744722
DBPMemberSunday
1/22/12
Does it ever not rain or otherwise storm here? Some say not. Even our most ardent campers mention frozen feet and toes. We have baggies on our feet to protect them from the cold, wet insoles of our shoes. Nobody actually whines about it; it just exists as another part of our reality.
There is one thing in our reality that exists for all but has devastating consequences for our particular population . . . [sentences REDACTED]
[paragraph REDACTED]
This is the last stop for some, and the only option for many of us — especially those of us with pets. [sentences REDACTED]
We have no rights. We have no protection. We are squatters.
[In spite of everything] I am still quite grateful that this [place] exists, and for my immediate neighbors: one who works until _________ and two who love my cats. There are still many fine people here who need and deserve better than current circumstances dictate. I try to remind myself that this (most likely) isn’t permanent and that someday it will be just a small piece of my life, a moment in time in which I have met people I would not have otherwise met — even some whom I hope to maintain [as friends] in my future. What are the odds? For this particular moment, I am (yet again) cold, wet and hoping tonight’s meeting opens, closes and is done in less than ten minutes, for the sake of our toes.
—H.
February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm #744723
DBPMemberMonday
Jan 23, 2012*
Well, I managed to get through most of [last night’s] meeting. Shortly before it closed, I got sick. It hit fast, it hit hard.
Not attending/signing in for the meeting is an automatic bar, but the sign-in sheet hadn’t reached me yet. I told the notetaker that I was there, but needed to excuse myself. [Sentence REDACTED]
I am thankful the meeting was mandatory: the portapots were available. I had to hike across the camp and aim for the one that had a lined trash bucket so I could be sick and be neat about it. So went the night, with a trashbucket by my bed. (I replaced the liner + contents, so no one else would have to.)
[Paragraph REDACTED]
I showered at the Compass Center and worked on some resume revisions + updates so I could save it to my Store n’ Go [data storage device]. For some reason, some changes to one section wouldn’t take. I’m not sure why.
Then I got my litter + cat food and called it a day. These small errands actually take a day via the bus. At least 4-5 hours. Longer for missed buses or buses that cruise by you. Here, I was sort of lucky. The bus driver realized where I was headed and let me out safely by our stairs. This truly was the best part of my day. I was still very sick, and it meant the world to me. The night before had been tough, and C______ kept hitting me in the face with his paw [as if to say,] “Stop puking, dammit!” That is, when he wasn’t hissing at S______ or crawling over me.
Please . . . let this day be done.
—H.
*Note that the journal entries are not current. This entry is for two weeks ago. –DBP
February 8, 2012 at 5:47 pm #744724
DBPMemberTues
January 24
The shower yesterday was great, but once I smelled nice and shower-fresh, I realized how badly my clothes (clean ones) smelled of camp fire. It’s a sharp, acrid scent.
It’s been pouring rain all day. I contacted my MV [?] nurse practioner’s office to see if I can get a one-month supply of thyroid and blood pressure medication to keep me going while I figure out medical care here. I was advised to go to a pharmacy and have them call it in, and I did (another Monday errand); waiting for a response. Not earth shattering, but I can’t go without either for very long.
I spent the day sewing the toes back in my socks, sewing my laundry bag, and waiting for the pharmacy to call. Someone suggested that I look up Harborview’s medical clinic and try to get in there.
The 45 mph [winds] haven’t come, yet. I don’t think we have to worry about power outages (since we don’t have electricity anyway) but tent collapses and other damages are a constant threat.
S___ still tries to find “The Tent Monster” when the winds rattle the tarps. He’s acting odd today. He leaves the tent, then rushes back to peak inside at C_____ and I, just to be sure we’re still here. He seems worried. When the winds pick up (or otherwise at 9 PM), I’ll have him in for the night. I’ve got a little catnip to sprinkle on the blanket for him.
I checked in with everyone earlier. Nothing too exciting. Oddly, none of the people who heard me wretching, and speculated over it, ever mentioned it to my neighbors, who apparently had no idea I was ill at all. No one else is sick in camp, though. Just me. I kept down oatmeal and Cheerios today. I boiled my hotpad, along with my neighbor’s, and called it a night.
The winds are kicking in as I write this. It looks like The Tent Monster is going to keep us company tonight. Tomorrow, I have to attend a morning meeting + later do a security shift. I was given a book to read by someone and it looks good. Tomorrow might be a good day to read a bit. Or not.
—H.
February 10, 2012 at 7:40 pm #744725
DBPMemberWeds.
Jan 25
It’s been an irritating day all around. The PC [Participation Credit] meeting is normally held onsite the last week of the month. You need that PC credit to [stay in camp]. The previous meeting was supposedly postponed, but not cancelled. I showed up and was told the meeting was being held downtown. There was no way of getting there on time. Someone [redacted] said that it was mentioned at Sunday’s meeting – the one I had to leave to avoid vomiting on people. But I had stayed til almost the end. (There were motions to close as I ran to the portapots.) It had to have been mentioned after that.
Instead, I went to the library to find legal music download sites so I could download some music for a camper getting ready to bicycle away soon. Guests of the library only get 30 minutes [on the Internet], card holders get 90 minutes, a huge difference.
I know nothing of MP3 players, and have never downloaded music. I was able to download 2 songs, but not the ones that were sought — those wouldn’t download for some reason. They weren’t illegal, I just couldn’t download them by the end of my minutes. I ran a few more errands quickly and went back to camp to do my security.
[When I got back] I found S___ wandering around the tent. No leash, no collar. I found his collar and leash tied to the tarp I use as a door protector. How it got tied there, I don’t know. But I was angry. A human had to have done it and it just pissed me off to look around, wondering who did that to my cat. It’s not a prank. It is mean.
I did my security, went back to my tent and noted the litter pan smelled unusually strong. I shined the flashlight on it to clean it again, and found it was nearly empty of litter. I’d taken care of their box before I left. It was fine. When I went to put my bed together, it felt like litter was in the bottom sheet. I shook it out and noted the sheet also felt damp. I examined the sheets + blankets with the flashlight + decided to put a blanket between us and the sheet. I won’t be able to do laundry til next week, so I’m now a whole new level of irate.
Once I got all of us together, I tried to get us all inside. S___ headed for his food, ate a mouthful, then vomited everywhere. I put him back outside so I could clean everything up with Clorox wipes.
It’s now raining. I’ll skip boiling my hotpads and just deal with the cold tonight.
As far as I know, I don’t possess homicidial tendencies. But I am irate. I don’t want to be provoked by another camper; I don’t want to [REDACTED] or anything in between. Instead, I will opt for my tent, under some blankets, alone. I have 2 more securities this week and one credit during clean-up on Sunday, and then get to do the whole thing over again next month.
It is now pouring.
Someday, I will read that this camp [REDACTED] and it won’t surprise me. It does not negate the fact that there are good, deserving people here. There are many.
Idealism and reality are not even close in this situation. One is a goal. The other is the present. I’m not sure how it will get from one stage to the other. I know it needs to. I also know I have to look at what’s required of me, what I need to live and what my options really are.
Laundry is non-stop — everything gets wet. Some folks can throw their stuff out and find things in the donation bin to replace it. I’m not usually that lucky. It also seems that my cats are punished when I leave the camp. I have to think of them and realistically, what, given my situation, I can do to earn a living, so we can move on.
—H.
February 13, 2012 at 2:06 am #744726
DBPMemberThursday
1/26/2012
While it poured rain outside my tent, “There’s a 30 percent chance of rain today,” was announced on the radio.
I did my first security of the week yesterday. I have one at noon today, and another at 3 tomorrow.
It’s still early, about 7 AM. I’ve looked around at my tent, trying to think of a better way of arranging things, but nothing comes to mind. It would be nice to put the litter pan on the porch, but C______ won’t use it there. Instead, the litter gets damp inside the tent, making it hard to clean. Also, due to the rats, raccoons, and other vermin, we shut ourselves in at night. Leaving the tent unzipped means tethering [the cats] overnight, as well.
I learned from the structure dwellers that their structures aren’t insulated. Everything has to be portable and, somehow, insulation isn’t allowed. I don’t follow the logic here. They’re no better off than the tent dwellers: no heat, no electricity, nothing but the materials that separate them from the outside air, snow and rain. It’s damp and chilly today.
—H.
February 13, 2012 at 4:03 pm #744727
DBPMemberFri
1/27/12
The day started out freezing cold, but with a forecast of sunshine there was hope. I made plans to shower at the Compass Center and then hit Goodwill in search of longjohns (men’s are fine with me). In the back of my mind, I’m toying with [doing] early morning [security shifts] to free up the day. Weighing in on weekend shifts, but I’d risk not getting all of them in; [REDACTED] Rumors of more securities being required are being spread. The whole thing makes job hunting even more difficult than it already is. A visit to the library was also etched in. But, alas, none of these things came to pass.
Instead, I came back to my tent to find vomit everywhere, and C_____ in a panic. We’ve all been sick. It’s quite odd. I spent the rest of the day on my hands and knees cleaning and disinfecting, taking things apart, and putting things back together. The blankets were, except for the edges, fine. I cleaned them off and draped them over the tent to air out. Lunch came, then I hurried to finish cleaning and putting things back. By the time I was due for security, all was done. The sun was warm and I left my blankets on top of my tent to continue airing out.
When I finished my shift, I found my blankets quite wet all over. Guess where I am now? Yup — the laundromat. The comforter and brown blanket are mine — items I agonized over bringing with me. I almost didn’t. There is only so much one can bring with them [on the bus], and I nearly left them behind. I am so glad I didn’t. The warmth, comfort, and scent of home and all that’s familiar live within these (our) blankets. They have kept us at least warmer than we otherwise would have been and that level of protection is everything to us.
[Paragraph REDACTED]
—H.
February 16, 2012 at 7:27 pm #744728
DBPMemberSunday
1/29/12
Raining on + off today. No big surprise, though. I’ve got a PC credit to do (clean-up), a security, and errands to run. It’s too dim for me to find my flashlight. I know it’s toward the back of the tent, somewhere.
The new location of the litter pan has mixed reviews (from me, at least.) The tent and litter seem better for the change. This is offset by my need to continually check on my guys during the night, and a fear of them coming into contact with vermin [?].
Some of the campers are moving into apartments, or moving on in general. Those who’ve gained employment actually have a pep to their step. Others want to be happy and excited [for them], but are afraid to be. They know that anything can go wrong and send them back to the encampment. What should be one of the happiest of recent moments in their lives comes with shadows lurking in the background. Nobody wants to come back with their tails tucked between their legs. But it happens, even to the best of us.
—H.
February 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm #744729
DBPMemberWeds
2/01/12
S____’s paw prints are everywhere. He’s been strutting his stuff atop the tent structure, bringing more unwanted attention to our humble abode. C_____, on the other hand, is still a basket case, unless I’m sleeping next to him.
The camper with the sick kitty had to euthanize him, and was grateful for a peaceful end. Another camper’s cat [REDACTED words]. My cats are due for shots, so I’ll have to look at low-cost vaccination clinics nearby. There are places that do help us: F_____ ______ is one, S______ _______ Vet is another. So goes our cycle of life.
I attended this morning’s meeting to take care of my monthly PC credit, so there’s at least one less item on my plate. The focuses were on fundraising and recycling. “Thank you” letters were postponed. It was interesting, and, unfortunately, I got temporarily lost upon exit. Fortunately a former and a current camper were available. One pointed me in the right direction; the other brought me back over to the right side of the street. I once had a housmate who nicknamed me “50-50-90” because there was a 50-50 chance I’d get lost 90% of the time. It, sadly, is true. But I usually — and eventually — find my way from point A to point B and usually see interesting things along the way.
I went to the library to do a job search, then headed back to my tent. The new structure masters are focusing on putting addresses to tents and putting the tents on sturdy, well-fitting pallets/platforms. It doesn’t sound [to someone who is not living here] like it’s all that important, but it is. We sleep on pallets, often in flooded areas. It makes a huge difference, not only in comfort, but in preventing damage to our bodies, our belongings, and our tents.
Some of us are fed up with the frenzy that happens when we try to sit quiety at the fire. We get [REDACTED words] driven out by people playing with the fire, spreading embers smoke and ashes needlessly in our direction [REDACTED words]. [REDACTED lines] My jacket has burn holes all over it, I’ve had to replace melted bootlaces, and one pair of pants burned right up the front a good 3-4 inches. I didn’t feel it and it must’ve gone out on its own. None of these campers carry in firewood. I DO (as do others) but not these particular campers.
We, pushed out of the campfire, discovered peace by sitting aways [off] from the fire, chatting quietly, and watching the camp and the sky. It’s supposed to be nicer toward the end of the week, but tonight, we know, will be cold. We built our own small fire so we could boil our hot packs, and settled in for the night.
—H.
February 22, 2012 at 11:44 pm #744730
DBPMemberThurs
Feb 2
The camp has a water deficit again. I picked up a bottle at the drugstore, and was grateful that I had the ability to do this. [REDACTED lines]
There is just such a primal fear for plain old survival that hoarding is common. [People] don’t want to die, and they don’t want to be left out or forgotten. It’s happened to them already, and they are now in “survival of the fittest” modality.
I got to wash my hair earlier and am now at the library charging my cellphone. I generally don’t let people know if/when there are minutes on my phone. If ever there’s a real emergency, they and I will be thankful for this bit of selfishness. There is a camp phone, but its use is limited, as is its level of privacy.
I’ve got this week’s wet/dirty/mildewy laundry to do, so I’ll grab the other camper’s clothes to bring along. Actually, he’ll hand me what he needs washed; it’s never much. He’ll be on his way when the weather warms a bit, if not sooner.
It’s an errand-running week, with me feeling that I’ve accomplished very little. I picked up some information from the Compass Center and now have a general idea as to where I’m supposed to go tomorrow for a Dr’s appt.
It seems as though I’m running the same errands repeatedly, for the same reasons, and it’s costly, over time. It justs eats away at finite resources. Also, I cannot seem to discourage people into leaving my tent alone. I am reluctant to want my pets trusting people who may later use their level of trust against them. My tent does seem to get an unusual amount of attention and vandalism, and I do believe my concerns are valid, if unpopular.
[REDACTED paragraph]
—H.
February 25, 2012 at 9:00 pm #744731
DBPMemberFriday
2/3/12
[REDACTED paragraph]
I had wanted to get an earlier start this morning, but that didn’t happen. I needed to shower before I went to several appointments I’d made. The shower ended with a woman walking [into my shower area]. The desk had let her in without checking to see if I’d left. I was dressed and she was undisturbed. We laughed a little, then went about our business. I drafted a letter for charity care [at the doctor’s office] per their instructions, came back, checked on the boys quickly, then checked instructions for the doctor’s appointment.
They are expensive: $250 for 1 appt., $34 for thyroid med. Charity care is pending. I filled out their forms, got them faxed, + went to my appointment. They were nice and helpful. If charity care doesn’t go through, this will be my one and only visit.
[REDACTED sentence] I am in my tent with C_____. S___ is outside, watching the world. At this point I am wondering: What is in my guys’ best interest?
The doctor’s visit didn’t go well. My BP isn’t normal, prelim screens weren’t either. Lab tests aren’t expected to be normal, because of the above. It’s Friday. I won’t know anything else until next week, I suppose. But if the charity care doesn’t go through, and I don’t qualify for other care, then knowing that a medical condition exists is a moot point. I justed wanted to get back to my guys to snuggle them. I don’t want to see anyone of the human persuasion right now.
I saw myself in a mirror for the first time in awhile — at least my face. I was shocked. My face is red and swollen. There are silver-grey hairs that extend way beyond the roots. But it is unimistakeably me.
On the bus, I had to “imaginear” a practical cat run that would fit in my tent area, include the litter pan, and not encroach on neighboring areas. I think maybe it might be wiser to imaginear ourselves elsewhere, but that’s beyond us right now. I have to think long and hard about this; their safety and well-being is at stake. And this is linked to my mental well-being. Now, having thought this through, I need to think through the logistics. It may well be wiser to remove them now, then remove myself as soon as I can. I need to look into this. I think this is the best option, probably.
—H.
February 26, 2012 at 6:25 pm #744732
DBPMemberSaturday
2-4-12
[REDACTED paragraphs]
I’ve heard more hock-tooey spitting and fits of coughing behind my tent these past few days than in the 2.5 months (I got here in the middle of November) I’ve been here.
A friend of mine from times past, and who I’ve kept in contact with, asked me to try to “spiritually” describe my surroundings and the community. I am chewing on this. I asked a couple of fellow campers this question. They are both Christians. One, after admonishing me that he didn’t judge, thinks atheism is a problem — a lack of faith which leads to people losing their way.
Another just laughed. And laughed.
And laughed.
“You can’t.”
So, I am still chewing on this.
Lost souls? —Maybe. Probably. Maybe not.
Abandoned souls? —Not necessarily either.
Some of the people here are related to one another. Brothers, aunts, grandparents, parents . . . are revealed over time. Are these biological ties or simply families of the heart? Both. Frequently people adopt each other for a sense of family — something that doesn’t exist otherwise.
—H.
February 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm #744733
DBPMemberSun.
2-5-12
A warm day and a cold night heralds in this day. It was a semi-rough night. People weren’t on their best behavior, so I had to zip us in and let my guys out to their litter pan as needed. Fortunately, it was too cold to be outside + S____ slept huddled up to me, as did C______, save for a few trips to the pan — and these were quick.
I had a couple of offers for play dates by a couple of people who know the camp well. It sounds great, but I’m really reluctant to do anything that could create more animosity than what I [already] see brewing. These are people I’d love to keep in contact with, even after I get on my feet.
It’s difficult to write in the tent, but I think I’m writing in a straight line. I splurged and left the radio on for hours last night.
I thought about it last night — about my pets + this community. I don’t touch anyone’s pets without their explicit permission, and never in their absence. My cats and I are not community property. We live in a tent that was donated so that a homeless person could have shelter, on land that has been “donated” for a similar purpose. It’s not a sanctioned community, just tolerated. Did we give up our rights when we moved here? When we became homeless? One camper cites 4th Amendment* violations. I cannot argue this because I’m not really sure what rights I still have, or how to protect them. It’s a major homeless person’s issue. Legally, we don’t seem to fit in, anywhere. Here, too, we are in limbo.
[REDACTED paragraph]
—H.
*Fourth Amendment to the Constitution:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated . . .
February 28, 2012 at 7:13 pm #744734
DBPMember2-6-12
It’s sunny, for a change — almost a spring day. Someone told me the worst weather comes near the end of February or the beginning of March. “In like a lion, out like a lamb,” I suppose.
I’ve agreed to a “play date”* with someone. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, or not, as I’ve written before. I really do not like to create animosity. I’ve been assured that this is done for other campers, as well, and many have gone on play dates in the past, so I’ve agreed to go tomorrow.
I’ve done 2 securities today, and will do one later in the week.
We discussed the possibility of [me] moving to another tent city, or the woods. I have a doctor’s appt. Friday, because my last visit had abnormalities noted. (BPA, some labs.)
I’m going to see if my cats could be considered service pets (who provide comfort). This does open up a few more avenues, but I’m not holding out a lot of hope, here.
—H.
* “Play date” = trip out of camp with a non-camper for purpose of rest and relaxation. This is H.’s term. Not necessarily used by other campers.
February 28, 2012 at 7:22 pm #744735
HydrangeaMemberI know you don’t want any comments, but I’m just looking for clarification. What does “play date” mean in this context? A play date for the cats?
February 28, 2012 at 7:28 pm #744736
DBPMemberSee my edit above. Thanks.
February 29, 2012 at 10:53 pm #744737
DBPMemberTues
2-7-12
Today’s the play date. On the itinerary is McDonalds, Dollar Store, a shower, a haircut, dinner and, if time, the beach, laundry + an exploration of resources.
We left in the late morning + chatted for a while in Dollar Store’s parking lot. I picked up some black electrical tape to patch my jacket, a pkg of batteries, and some chocolate-covered raisins. (Did I get hand sanitizer? I can’t remember.) We left McDonalds, then made our way to the showers. They are a great resource, but they don’t have towels.
We left, chatted awhile more, then eventually made our way back to the person’s house, where we chatted some more, while she showed me around.
I learned a bit about birds — I had always thought that birds, except for parrots, had a short life span. Not true at all. Depending on the species, they can live up to 20 years or more. I was amazed at all the things my play partner(s) had created, built, or grew over the years. It was truly astounding.
Eventually, I did get to the showers, and was able to see myself in a mirror. So much grey! The haircut helped. My hair is thick, so it takes some patience and time. Tram’s* has both. They did a beautiful job, at a reasonable price, for which I was grateful.
Later, I was shown the beach, the spot where my play partner met her life partner and where they became engaged, and where they grew up. Landmarks and major streets were pointed out to help me get my bearings. We had dinner and then looked at a few resources, some picures of a place [that my play partners] have, and all the work that went into it.
It was dark when I got back to camp. I was lucky to have someone able to check on my cats who I knew is good with them. They don’t really require much of anything — just to check on them while walking by works fine.
Tomorrow isn’t supposed to be that great — but, it’s another day.
I found the play date interesting, learning a little more about these camp-concerned individuals. Again, I am amazed at the energy and commitment these people offer the homeless.
—H.
*Refer’s to a beauty salon in West Seattle
March 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm #744738
DBPMember2-8-12
I did my final security today – for the week, anyway. There’s a lot of strange energy in the camp. There are people moving out, people getting ready to move out, and people who were just passing through, getting ready to move on. There are, to balance out the cyclical life here, folks coming in, a baby about to be born, and people who will probably “OD” (or Otherwise Disappear) for a bit.
The shift went by in relative peace. One spelled me, I spelled the other, the other spelled the other “other,” who actually can take breaks as needed, logistically.*
[REDACTED paragraphs]
I’m trying to put together a list of things I need to get done by Friday — a lot of things had to be postponed pending an appt. Friday. I still need to transfer my driver’s license over to WA, but would never pass an eye exam without my glasses. Will they give me a WA ID and let me keep my M________ driver’s license until I get glasses again? I don’t know.
—H.
*Don’t know what all this means. -Editor.
March 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm #744739
JoBParticipantMarch 5, 2012 at 12:58 am #744740
DBPMember2-9-12
Beware of people’s motives, don’t judge a book by its cover, and when someone is pointing your attention in one direction, always ask yourself “Why?” —These are my mother’s sayings, but they hold true, even now. She was a wise lady.
I’m exhausted; the camp was active all through the night. A couple fought this morning — a reminder to myself to put the front desk’s # on my phone just in case. [REDACTED sentence] People fall in and out with each other constantly, anyway — but this is different. [REDACTED sentence]
It’s sad. We are all homeless. All of us. We are equally at the bottom of this country’s proverbial barrel. Some [here] have more resources than others, others have acquired more via longevity. Some actually have the luxury of staying with a family member once in a while. Some of us can only dream of these things.
I did a batch of laundry [REDACTED words]. I checked my mail and hit the library, where I bus-planned tomorrow’s appointments. I guess I do qualify for food stamps [in Washington], but [the food stamp office here had to] e-mail [my former state] to verify that the account there is closed. A useless thing, since I never got [an EBT] card from there.
I looked on Indeed.com* to see what’s available. My appt. requires me to verify charity coverage. I have to try to find the number to call tomorrow morning, and, for some reason, my cats either gorged on food or something else is up — I bought a 7-lb bag and in less than a week, there’s almost nothing left. Another errand for tomorrow . . .
Am I safer here than in my own tent in the woods? I don’t know right now, it seems to be a toss-up. I’m losing money + resources. I’m losing time.
Maybe I should cite pros and cons? I do know my paperwork should be stored elsewhere, and that’s another errand. Now I’m off to find the “Surgical Pavilion.” With such a fancy title, I’d think the bus drivers could help me out.
[REDACTED sentence] Someone pointed out that a lot of “couplings” were created when the cold weather hit. I thought about it, and it really is true. I’m fine with my cats, thank you. Everyone has their own unique journey, and I am fine sharing my journey with my two cats. C______ and I have been together 18 years, just about, and we love each other still. If anything were to happen to me, I would not want my guys’ care entrusted to anyone here in the camp. EVER.
[REDACTED sentences]
—H.
*A job-search Web site.
March 6, 2012 at 6:11 pm #744741
DBPMemberFriday 2-10-12
S____ was on a mission this morning. I took him for a walk — he marched around the compound, looking under pallets and inspecting hidden areas with the utmost scrutiny. There was a cat outside meowing and another (?) yowling. I tried to see it, but could not. Others were up and about . . . so maybe it was theirs? My tent is open a bit for my cats and the porch is semi-sheltered, so if desperate, [the other cat] has options.
S___ has become moon-eyed over a neighboring feline. When he’s not sitting atop the wooden supports over the tent (and she, on hers) he’s prancing or making play gestures at her. She, in return, just looks back at him, unsure of what, if anything, to make of him. They are both fixed, so we have no worries there. He demands his walks, in which he leads us inevitably to “the great she.” It’s a little like watching Charlie Brown trying to meet The Little Red-Headed Girl, with S____ suddenly realizing she can box his ears, and trying to dodge beneath a pallet. The walk reverses back to our tent in short order, with S____ slinking quietly into the tent.
[REDACTED paragraph]
I am Wiccan, I am celibate, I write, I record — I have a friend who has very low vision, so I “record” (instead of “writing”) for her, then I send [her writing] on its way — and I don’t get particularly involved with anyone. I’ve been here 3 months, and I have been assigned “old-lady” status with at least 3 male campers. I have tried (and they have too) to explain that we have a platonic friendship, and it is to no avail. I have been blunt: “No — I’m celibate; we’re only friends.” It doesn’t matter. Everybody must be something to someone. This being said, I have no idea whether people here are biologically related or whether they have simply assigned themselves a bond, for the sake of belonging to someone.
It’s hard — and I understand this from personal experience — we all crave a sense of belonging, to be part of a family. Not just to have relatives, who frequently have never been part of our lives anyway, but to actually mean something to someone.
Face it — if we really had family ties, many of us would not be here. It’s a hard, bitter pill to swallow, but it is the truth. Someone coined the term “family of the heart,” and it’s a beautiful notion. Not everybody is able to maintain those ties, either, although some can. This is why so many relationships are fleeting ones. The life skills — for lack of a better term — aren’t there. Long-term relationships are foreign things, impossible to maintain over time, but still desperately sought.
One of the biggest manipulations I hear, here, is “I love you.” It usually translates into: “Hey, I just did something so ‘mIbad,’* that I need you to lie for me. You’ll lie for me because I love you, and nobody else does.” It is also hugely effective here, because we are shunned by society. (Again: many are, not all.)
—H.
*mIbad = my bad? —editor.
March 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm #744742
DBPMemberSat.
2-11-12
I came back yesterday from my appts. to learn of a fight that broke out after I left (apparently it got quite bloody) and that multiple rats’ nests with many newborn, blind rats were discovered, and [the rats] killed. There are so many rumors as to who killed them, and how, that I don’t want to write further on the subject. Supposedly, animal control was contacted, but again: rumors.
The doctor’s appointment yielded many abnormal lab values, and I guess I’ll know more sometime later this week. I did get a call [saying] I need to return on Monday, in regards to a potential plan of action, so I need to put minutes on my phone, ASAP. I made a mental note not to sign up for securities until I know more.
Some of the labs were really abnormal, and the resident just looked at me: “Boy, I bet you’re not feeling well at all.” I feel like crap. I look hideous, and sometimes the most sane beings I communicate with in a day are my cats. I talk to them to reassure both them and myself that everything will be ok, eventually, and try to maintain a sense of normalcy in an abnormal environment. It’s all I can do right now. It’s the best I can do.
—H.
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