36 Replies to "West Seattle breastfeeding moms' project needs your votes"

• Irukandji June 22, 2008 (6:39 pm)

  I hadn’t given this much thought before, but now that I noodle on it…

  No wonder my breast-fed boy goes to the zoo and in checking out the cow sculpture starts screaming “Cow has a p*nis! Four p*nis!” We’d never had the opportunity go review animal anatomy before to distinguish teats from genitalia.

  You’ve got my vote!

• herongrrrl June 22, 2008 (6:40 pm)

  No udders on cows??? Ridiculous!

  I will be forwarding far and wide–this is a really good idea.

• JanS June 22, 2008 (7:00 pm)

  lolol…..Irukandji ….I can see the parental units cringing now…how funny…what kids say is sometimes the very BEST…hahaha

  yes…Betsy’s book may come in handy to quite a few folk :)

• raindance42 June 22, 2008 (8:17 pm)

  This would never have occurred to me before I became a breastfeeding mom myself, but now that I am, I find myself feeling self-conscious about breastfeeding in public, even when tastefully covered by a nursing drape. I feel like I’m the only one doing it, even though statistically I know that’s not true. So, I think this is a great idea! I’m all for positive depictions of breastfeeding in all types of media. If we’re successful here we can move on to TV and movies.

• R June 22, 2008 (9:04 pm)

  I’ve voted! Just a reminder to send this link to all your Mom / pro breastfeeding friends!

• TheHouse June 22, 2008 (10:03 pm)

  I don’t know how much of an impact a childrens book on breastfeeding will impact the percent of the population that has an issue with breastfeeding, but your intentions are good.

  In my opinion, anyone that has had an issue with my wife breastfeeding in public can GFY (e-mail if you need help with that one). People should not be offended by a baby eating any more than a grown man chewing on a cheeseburger. A woman should not be embarrassed to breastfeed in public and people should not be offended.This is a matter of sustenance, not pornography.

• Paul June 22, 2008 (10:08 pm)

  Breastfeeding in public is great, just as long as it is done with care. I am not saying I like to watch it, but I think its a wonderful act of motherhood and I fully support it.

• littlemama June 23, 2008 (12:21 am)

  You have my vote Betsy! I hope you get to write this book so that the most natural thing in the world is treated as such!! Good Luck!

• Bob Loblaw June 23, 2008 (1:05 am)

  Bob Loblaw is a big breast supporter.

• CMP June 23, 2008 (7:25 am)

  Ewww, this is one thing that I just don’t want to see in public. I don’t fart or pick my nose in public which is a “natural thing” to do and I certainly don’t want to see a woman’s big ‘ole boob with baby latched on while I’m out and about town. My sister is almost ready to have a baby and I’ll leave the room if she decides to breast-feed (her only pros for doing so are that it’s free and you burn lots of calories). Maybe we’re turned off by it since we were formula fed, but we’re twins so I’d hate to see our Mom’s boobs if she had gone that natural route. I don’t get offended by much but this is just one thing I can’t handle. I’ve seen plenty of breasts in locker rooms over the years, but at least I expect that when I’m at a gym or pool.

• TheHouse June 23, 2008 (8:41 am)

  Why is it offensive to you? It is a baby eating. How could you even compare picking your nose or farting to feeding your child?

  Get over it.

• Betsy June 23, 2008 (9:07 am)

  Some more pros of breastfeeding: Increases baby’s IQ, helps mother-baby bonding, burns 500 calories per day. Reduces baby’s lifetime risk of obesity, diabetes, respiratory illness, asthma, allergy, heart disease, enteric colitis, necrotizing faciitis, Crohn’s disease, and diahhrea. Reduces mom’s lifetime risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and osteoporosis. Reduces the risk that a mother may abuse her child (back to that bonding thing again). Maybe when you leave the room while your twin nurses, you can get her a drink, make her a meal, and do a load of laundry. That would be a wonderfully supportive thing for a supportive uncle to do!!

• MargL June 23, 2008 (9:56 am)

  I love being able to breastfeed my daughter – it’s a wonderful bonding experience. But it’s something between me and my daughter. I wear a nursing cloak in public because I have no urge to flash those particular parts of my body around even if I am just doing something biologically natural. There are a lot of ‘natural’ functions and activities I have absolutely no urge to share with the public.
  I’ve never had an experience where someone has -made- me feel uncomfortable nursing in public either thru comment or looks. But sometimes I feel uncomfortable around other nursing mothers if I use my cloak – like they look down on me for not wanting show off what I’m doing as some sort of testimony of being a fantastic mother.

• WSB June 23, 2008 (10:08 am)

  Are there really that many moms these days who don’t cover up to some degree? Having been a very dedicated nursing mom in those early years, I sort of wished at times — keep in mind of course we’re talking a decade ago, now — all that covering-up wasn’t so seemingly mandatory … not because I had any desire to expose body parts either (hell, I’m a long-sleeves-in-summer type of person) BUT because it was so uncomfortable to have to do all that draping, especially if it was a warm day and you happened to be outdoors and there’s your poor baby/toddler under a blankety tent. Blue Angels ’96 at the viewpoint on north California (the year they couldn’t fly Lake Washington), for some reason, sticks with me as one of those memories. Although I wore a sling (long before they were as nearly ubiquitous as they are today) and that enabled discreet nursing in many settings.

• JumboJim June 23, 2008 (11:01 am)

  Hi Betsy,

  In defense of my gender I think CMP, who is offended by seeing breastfeeding, is a woman. The only clue I got was from the last sentence of her/his comment. Not that it matters much…

• CMP June 23, 2008 (11:03 am)

  I still don’t buy this bonding thing, but whatever. I just don’t get why you’d need a children’s book to validate breast-feeding when people are obviously going to do it anyway. Women should recognize that it makes some of us uncomfortable and take care of business elsewhere. I applaud those that are more discreet about this than flaunting their baby bonding time b/c some of us don’t really care.

  Oh yeah, I’m not a future uncle, but aunt…I thought the “boobs in the locker room” comment would have made that obvious. Plus I think my brother-in-law can do the laundry and make dinner instead of me. Not that I won’t offer up my services every now and then, but that’s not what I signed up for. I know this sounds selfish and harsh, but some of us just aren’t that sensitive to the wonders of parenthood. And don’t worry, I won’t be having any kiddos any time soon, nor do I own pets. And if I owned a dog, you can be darn sure it would be on a leash constantly and would not be brought everywhere I go.

• WestSeattleMom June 23, 2008 (11:10 am)

  I must admit, I’m rather surprised that discreet breast feeding in public is still at all controversial. 17 years ago I breastfed my daughter where-ever we happened to be when she was hungry (but never in a public restroom, gross!!) Brand new mom’s need to get out of the house too! Perhaps I was so sleep deprived that I didn’t notice people reacting negatively to my nursing in restaurants and in my car, but I remember feeling quite comfortable nursing my blanket draped babies around strangers. Perhaps because I believed I was doing the most natural wonderful thing for my child that I presumed everyone else in the world was in agreement (hmmm, rather narcissistic of me I suppose). By the time my third child came around my breasts seemed to me more of a sustenance provider that something titilating which must be concealed.

  And CMP, whose post expressed concern about the condition of a woman’s breasts after the milk has dryed up, I like mine just fine. The many many benefits of breastfeeding my children far outweighed any after the fact beauty issues. Plus, breastfeeding helped me lose my baby weight within weeks of giving birth without ever stepping in a gym.

• Peanut June 23, 2008 (12:20 pm)

  think the real reason breast-feeding makes many people uncomfortable has little to do with boob-flashing. Breast-feeding is a form of PDA, as evidenced by the many uses of the word “bonding” in the previous comments.

  Of course, a mother breast-feeding is far more innocent and less disgusting than teenagers making-out in public but it is still a very personal and exclusive act.

  I try to make women feel comfortable when they are breast-feeding around me and I could care less about seeing another woman’s breast but it’s ridiculous to not acknowledge that is a very personal and affectionate bonding experience that not many people know how to act casual around– just like other types of PDA.

• Clay June 23, 2008 (12:35 pm)

  TheHouse’s comments hit the nail right on the head. Unlike some other “natural” activities (including those you noted in CMP’s message) breastfeeding does not create any health risks or any other sort of nuisance (odors, etc.). It is, in fact, just a baby eating. This is a life necessity, and I think it is reasonable to expect others to tolerate it in public.

  As forward as Seattle is, CMP’s comments show that we still live in a hyperpuritan, repressed society that cannot disconnect the sight of a bare breast from sexual gratification (as opposed to baby food). Kudos to the moms (including my wife) who do what’s best for their babies despite the dirty looks. Your kids will thank you someday for the better health and the extra IQ points . . .

• coffee geek June 23, 2008 (2:10 pm)

  Decriminalize breast feeding! Save the boobs! Make milk, not war! I’ll stop lactating when you pry my cold dead hands off my breast pump! Tune in Tokyo!!!

• swimcat June 23, 2008 (2:18 pm)

  Geez, i’m about to have a baby soon and do plan on breastfeeding, but I plan on being discreet about it because some people just don’t want to see it done (for whatever reason). I know I don’t want to see women’s boobs whipped out while I’m at a restaurant eating (which I’ve witnesses several different times). And I didn’t enjoy watching the videos in the breastfeeding class I went to either, even though I’m well aware that breastfeeding is a natural act.

• J June 23, 2008 (3:18 pm)

  I can’t believe we haven’t learned to deal with this yet. I breastfed my children in public (with what discretion I could, depending on the situation) starting almost 30 years ago. I never heard a negative comment or saw anyone look uncomfortable. Have we gone backwards since the early 80s? Smoking in public is offensive. Breastfeeding is not at all.

• miws June 23, 2008 (4:38 pm)

  WSB, I was there at Hamilton Viewpoint that year watching the Blues too! And, I rememeber seeing you, and what you were doing, and was terribly offended. Ok, not really, I remember no such thing. :P

  .

  I was there with some friends, and their then very nearly 7 year old daughter. We were actually on the hillside, on the other side of California Way from Hamilton. The girl and I were a ways down, having a good ol’ time watching the planes, and Mom and Dad were a little ways up from us.

  .

  All of a sudden, one of them does a sideway flyover, right above our heads, so close that I swear I could almost count the pilots nose hairs, and my poor little buddy was so scared, she went screaming up the embankment to Mom and Dad. I, admittedly, was a bit startled myself, but was able to maintian my composure, and felt no need to run screaming up the embankment, to my friends.

  .

  Ok, now back on topic. I see no problem, whatsoever, with a mother breastfeeding in public. The reasons for my opinion, have been pretty much covered in the above postings.

  .

  As long as the mother doesn’t blurt out “Hey! Check this out!!” as she’s preparing to feed her baby, there is absolutely no reason to be offended.
  .

  I like J’s comment that smoking in public is offensive, but breastfeeding is not. Personally, I’m offended by the smell, plus I have asthma. What’s worse, is many people actually have a severe allergic reation to tobacco smoke. And before someone says that smoking is not a natural bodily function, I agree, in the most technical sense it isn’t, but since the stupid things are so damned addictive, I’d argue that they indeed are a natural function, for those that are hooked on them.

  .

  Mike

• JumboJim June 23, 2008 (5:12 pm)

  Those who are offended (who seem to be a big minority) can just try what I do – its really not hard: just look away.

• Irukandji June 23, 2008 (5:21 pm)

  One reason to love the French: They understand that breasts are for babies, but HIPS are sexy.

  No one seems to complain about boobs and cleavage when there’s no baby attached! The offended appear to hate the rampant display of NIPPLES, not breasts in general.

  Me, I hate to see butt crack, and worse yet crack with thongy butt floss.

• CMP June 24, 2008 (8:39 am)

  I’m rather open-minded about a lot of things, but I just can’t get on board with breast-feeding in public. I laugh at how Starbucks had to change their logo b/c the Siren’s breasts were showing, but that’s a cartoon for God’s sake. I don’t want to see a baby going to town on a boob, even if it is feeding, bonding or whatever new-age crap you want to call it. Don’t even get me started on what age you should ween them off this. I almost vomited when a friend of mine breast fed her 18 month old son on California Ave one afternoon and was not the least bit discreet about it. No matter what anyone writes on this blog about it, I’m not changing my mind. Pump and have a bottle handy or cover up, that’s all some of us ask for.

• Betsy June 24, 2008 (9:31 am)

  It’s so exciting to see this open exchange of ideas and opinions. CMP, first of all, you’re right, my eyes skipped over the part about seeing breasts in the locker room. That should have been my first clue! Sorry for that, and I didn’t intend to assume that a man would be more likely to be offended by observing breastfeeding than a woman. I’m honestly, sincerely curious — CMP, you are among the most vocal of the folks here, so perhaps you are willing to reflect and comment. You have used words like “disgust” and “vomit” in reaction to observing a baby or child eating at the breast. Would you be willing to go a little deeper and explain to those folks reading here who are not offended, what about the action of feeding a baby at the breast is nauseating? thank you for your feedback! Any one else have a reaction to this (pro or con?) Thanks friends!

• Melissa June 24, 2008 (10:39 am)

  I gave birth 9 months ago and felt very self-conscious breastfeeding in public initially. Funny thing is – I’ve never felt weird around breastfeeding women, so these feelings surprised me. The first few times out of the house, I covered up, even though it felt like I was being more conspicuous with a giant blanket draped over me. Once, my partner and I were out having dinner and the server actually waited to come back and take our order until I was finished! After that, I realized that by covering up I was showing how uncomfortable I was, and the people around me just mirrored that. Finally, after a month or so, I ditched the blanket and breastfed openly (albeit fairly discreetly). I feel I was doing breastfeeding women and children everywhere a disservice by covering up and hiding. I think if more women breastfed openly, eventually more people would come to accept it. Caring for a new baby is the hardest work I’ve ever done, and having to worry about some random stranger’s response to seeing me breastfeed is a ridiculous waste of my time and energy. Frankly, if someone is disgusted by me feeding my baby, I find that rather disgusting.

• Melissa June 24, 2008 (10:45 am)

  Almost forgot – Betsy, have you tried drumming up support on Mothering.com? I’m sure a lot of breastfeeding mommies on the forums there will be more than happy to support your idea! Best of luck to you.

• CMP June 24, 2008 (1:57 pm)

  Betsy, I can’t quite put my finger on why this bothers me so much, it just does. Very little offends me except bad drivers, ignorant people (looks like I’m one of ’em on this topic) and breast-feeding. I’ve encountered too many new mothers out there that make me wish they never had children so I guess breastfeeding is guilty by association. I’ve told people that if I had a baby, I’d probably stick with formula from the start. They give me all that bonding BS, like I’d be a bad mother for not doing it. There are just so many things about parenting choices that make me cringe (i.e. no drugs in the delivery room, having a mid-wife instead of a doctor, home births). It’s like a big competition for some people and I get sick of hearing about it. I just don’t want people to make me feel bad about not wanting to see the joys of breastfeeding. I know I don’t have to look but sometimes when it’s really obvious and unavoidable, I don’t appreciate it.

• BreastfeedingMama June 24, 2008 (5:23 pm)

  I Voted. Great idea, I love it.

• BreastfeedingMama June 24, 2008 (5:34 pm)

  “I’ve told people that if I had a baby, I’d probably stick with formula from the start. They give me all that bonding BS, like I’d be a bad mother for not doing it. There are just so many things about parenting choices that make me cringe (i.e. no drugs in the delivery room, having a mid-wife instead of a doctor, home births…”

  CMP, why do these parenting choices make you “cringe?” This makes absolutely no sense to me, and in fact, I find your commentary offensive. I know we’re all entitled to our own opinion, but there’s nothing at all wrong with a mother seeking these things out! A woman is perfectly entitled to a drug-free childbirth outside of a hospital if that is what she so chooses! If you think natural child birth and breastfeeding are “competitions” for people, then I think you’ve been exposed to some pretty close-minded, extreme individuals.

  Until you have children of your own and have a personal experience and context from which to speak, maybe you should rethink commenting on these issues.

• Betsy June 25, 2008 (9:31 am)

  CMP — Thank you for your candid reply. I really appreciate you being brave and just telling us what you think. It’s hard to be the one with the dissenting opinion. I did some thinking about when folks were talking about “I don’t pee/poop/pick my nose in public” and why is breastfeeding different. Here’s some biology which is not at all obvious. Pee/poop/boogers are excretory functions, ways for the body to get rid of toxic byproducts. Formula is an inert substance composed of potentially allergenic base material such as soy beans and cow milk. Breast milk is essentially a living tissue, composed of hundreds of different living cells, proteins, fats, white blood cells, immunoglobulins, and things we can’t even name because they haven’t been discovered yet. Fact: some moms express their milk and store it in bottles. If the milk is tested for bacteria on day one, there will be bacteria present. On day 8, there will be less bacteria present — because the white blood cells in the milk will have eaten the bacteria! Funky but true. I honor your wish not to hear women talk about their bodily functions, and not to observe women breastfeeding. You’ve said you plan to leave the room when your sister nurses and that seems like a reasonble solution. Perhaps over time it will become less offensive to you. And in public, you always have the option of not looking (nursing moms do appreciate that). Otherwise, someone may offer you their baby’s blanket and suggest you wear it over your head ;)
  Just kidding. Congratulations on your impending aunt-dom and if mother has any breastfeeding questions, I hope she will contact La Leche League!

• CMP June 25, 2008 (12:21 pm)

  Alright, I just consulted with one of my girlfriends last night who is a new mom. We took the baby out for dinner and she was prepared with a bottle, imagine that. I asked her about this and she said there was no way she’d breastfeed in public, and if so, she’d cover up. No one needs to see her ta-tas so at least I have one mother who agrees with me.

  I don’t feel like I need to have my own children to comment about this topic. I’ve posted about dog owner behavior before and I don’t have any pets although I do like cats. I just recognize common sense and am courteous to others, even if it might inconvenience me.

• meg June 26, 2008 (4:09 pm)

  Seriously CMP, get over it. Breastfeeding is natural. It is as nature intended and as far as I know, all mammals breastfeed. The breast is so sexualized in this country and that makes people squirm. But breastmilk is the best thing for a baby for all the reasons mentioned before.
  If you are uncomfortable, then look the other way. You can eat in public & so can my baby. When I am out I try to cover up for my own sense of modesty, but really could care less if others are uncomfortable. That is their breast issue to deal with, not mine. And actually, it isn’t my modesty. It is this misogynist world we live in that teaches women to be ashamed of their bodies and forces modesty.
  To be able to breastfeed is awesome. I never thought I would be able to due to previous surgery. Now, I look at my 6 month old and am in awe that I am able to provide 100% of her nutritional needs and that she is stong and thriving and in fact, has never had so much as a sniffle. No, it isn’t convienent all the time. In fact many times it is a pain (literally and figuratively). Not being able to share the responsibilty of feeding takes more of my time. It means I often have to do everything 1 handed (like type this for example as she is nursing right now!). Returning to work and being committed to breastfeeding is hard. It is hard to pump at work. But I’m so thrilled that I can do this & basically intend to at least partially breastfeed for as long as she wants to.
  Some people choose not to do and I support that. And some people try & try and are unable to and I mourn that loss with them. But science has shown it to the best for the babies. Most of the world gets that and supports it.

• WSB June 26, 2008 (4:13 pm)

  Congratulations, Meg, and thanks for posting. My mom bucked the trend and nursed back in the early ’60s and I know that’s a reason why my brother and I are both exceptionally healthy … same goes for our son, rock-solid immune system (knock wood). Good luck with continuing while working outside the home; that was a tough road too but with support both at work and at home, we managed, and also helped pave the way for other moms at my then-workplace to follow suit (in the mid-90s it was still kind of a new concept, believe it or not).

Sorry, comment time is over.