Why do guys get married?

[Pibal]

As for the original question… I’ll go for it…

Starting points: I’m in my fifth decade, a bit of a traditionalist, possess a strong faith in God, been a live-in partner and married and divorced and single parent…

I reached a point where I was certain that I would not have a partner for the rest of my life, and I was content that that’s how the cards played out. I enjoyed parenting (hardest work I’ve ever done), have had a rewarding and sucessful career, and plenty of outside activities to truly enjoy myself.

And then by pure happenstance, I met a woman whom I wanted to be with forever. It was and still is absolutely pure magic. We matched up in age, values, interests and we complemented each other in skills – she’s strong where I am not and vice versa. Simply living together and committing to each other wasn’t enough for either of us. We wanted to publicly take a vow of commitment before our family, our children, and our friends -and it was also important for us to do so at the altar in our chosen faith.

Marriage is a sacred commitment and adding that step to our relationship makes it more meaningful. I’ll be the first to say that that’s not true for everyone; it just is for us.

I married because I found the right person, at the right time and the right place. I look at my wedding band and know exactly how it came to be and what and who it represents. And now I get to spend every day with my best friend!

My only watchword to anyone reading this is to simply remain open to the possibilities – wherever life leads you. I am so glad for that attitude because it helps during both the high points as well as the unavoidable low points. Embrace it all and enjoy every moment…

And should my wife find this post: please know that I will always love you; and knowing that you love me is the greatest gift I have ever received.

So Jiggers, hope that helps…

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[matthewdarling]

as a man who married another man (ok, technically partnered..)i think i have the most simple answer.

i love him and all the petty crap doesn’t change that.

that’s all.

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[flowerpetal]

matthewdarling, you beat me to the draw. I read this post topic earlier today and thought I should respond when I get the time. Some guys, and some gals don’t get married because they legally can’t. Congratulations on loving someone even in view of the petty crap.

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[PDieter]

https://westseattleblog.com/forum/topic/whats-in-it-for-a-guy-to-get-married

my memory hasn’t jumped ship yet…maybe being married keeps me paying attention.

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[HMC Rich]

I bought my wife flowers today and gave the dog a flea treatment. I love both of them but my wife is much better looking and intelligent. She doesn’t lick her bum then try to lick me. But the dog is much less expensive usually. HMMMMMM. Must be love. Oh, I forgot. My wedding day was the best day of my life. For some reason she loves me too.

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[JoB]

The advice i gave my daughter…

don’t even consider marriage until you just plain can’t imagine life without someone.

she didn’t understand until this year.

she would agonize about should i or shouldn’t i and i would tell her the answer was no. When it was right she would be asking how … not if.

at the age of 40 my little girl founds someone she cares so much about that she is more concerned with how they will find jobs on the same continent and manage the wedding than finishing her Phd.

practical mom says being a Mrs Phd is a bonus ;->

and my oh so practical daughter will follow through…

but she gets it now…

bottom line…

marriage is about building a life together…

and if you are willing to turn your life upside down to do so… it’s well worth doing.

That kind of love lasts long past the “i’ll be anything you want to please you” stage…

and weathers more than a few bouts of gloomy gus…

HMCRich…

isn’t that the best part…

for some reason he loves me too ;)

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[Jiggers]

Let’s change the queston. “What is in it for a guy to be married? I’m guessing if he can’t cook or wash his own clothes then that would be those reasons.

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[flowerpetal]

If that is all that a guy thinks he needs, he can hire that kind of help. That is not what a marriage is intended to be; in my way of thinking.

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[dawsonct]

Sounds like you need a domestic, Jiggers, not a partner in life.

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[JustSarah]

No, gaining a cook and maid should not be the main motivators in getting married, despite AlkiCabCompany’s opinions…

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[dawsonct]

Personally, I’m in the same situation that JoB’s daughter was in, moving well past our societal norm for a first marriage, but I also haven’t found that “indispensable” other person.

I haven’t felt pressured to get married by my family, don’t mind putting up with the questions (is he gay? No, but I know plenty of gay people, if you are looking for a date, I can set you up), and happily don’t pay alimony or child-support (don’t know where THAT money would come from!).

Oddly though, by remaining single I feel somewhat narcissistic, though some would interpret my reasoning for that as being rather narcissistic also; I feel I have a lot to give, and I would like to someday meet a person who I want to give myself to, 100% and as close to unconditionally as I can. I WANT to share my life and talents with someone, create a complimentary partnership, and, by giving up part of myself, become more complete.

Sounds a bit cliche, but that is probably because there is a lot of truth to it.

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[JoB]

Jiggers…

it’s cheaper to hire a domestic these days than marry one.

if that’s all you want out of marriage you are really selling yourself short.

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[manolita]

I got the best of all worlds… married a wonderful, much younger (almost nine years younger) man, handsome, funny, sexy.

And he – just like me- wanted to have a large family. Now we have four beautiful kids and hoping to foster three other kids (siblings coming from a broken home). We find a way to spend quality time together as a couple and keep the marriage healthy. And yes, we have eachother’s backs.

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[JoB]

dawsonct…

it isn’t narcissistic to stay single until you find a mate you can’t resist.

it’s healthy.

Marriage isn’t for sissies. It takes real work to build a partnership of any kind.. marriage is no exception.

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[dawsonct]

I recognize it as simply residual societal imprinting. There are many other ways to contribute to community than mating and procreating.

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[JoB]

dawsonct…

any marriage isn’t better than no marriage…

if you believed it was..

you could easily end up paired with someone like Jiggers who questions any redeeming value for marriage beyond unpaid household help.

though i doubt even jiggers really believes that.

he simply hasn’t found the right partner yet either.

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[Proudparent]

Great questions. But lets be clear its not walk in the park for women either! I think both sexes get married becase they are told it is the thing to do? stupid reason and then what happens… divorce and then you are back to square one…only some people don’t learn their lesson they get remarried…idiots…

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[JoB]

proudparent…

maybe i got married the first time because i thought it was the thing to do.

I am sure that the man i married got married for exactly those reasons…

but that sure doesn’t account for the last time i got married… and thank god it doesn’t.

We are going on 20 years now and although i often doubt my sanity in choosing the daily challenges of marriage and rant about my spouse’s latest pecadillos with the best of them …

i also thank my lucky stars that we found one another.

We are both strong willed irritating people whose personal foibles often frustrate the other past all understanding…

but, corny as it may seem.. a hug is still enough to restore balance in our world.

it’s something you really can’t explain … but it makes such a huge difference.

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[BikerDude]

companionship and maybe sex has something to do with it.

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[JoB]

biker dude…

maybe..

but somehow i don’t think that’s everything :)

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