Thank you kind stranger, for leaving me a gift of your dog’s poop on the sidewalk in front of my house, perfectly placed so that I’d step in it when I took out the trash.
Your generosity gave me the opportunity to have to clean the sidewalk so the guests we have coming over later today wouldn’t have the same experience that l I did. And instead of having to be in the kitchen cooking with my wife, you allowed me to be outside for a half an hour scraping and scrubbing and smelling the aroma of whatever your dog didn’t quite digest.
So my new year’s wish for you, kind stranger, is that every time you walk your dog you trip and fall; that some other kind stranger leaves you a treasure similar to what you left me on a weekly basis (hopefully bigger and smellier); and that at some point your dog realizes what kind of person you really are, bites you on the leg, runs away, and is adopted by someone that will clean up after them.
