Advice Wanted – Whether/How to address people being inconsiderate

[oldrunner]

I’m shy and I hate confrontation. However, I’m increasingly frustrated by increasingly inconsiderate actions by people who either aren’t paying attention, or just being rude. Some examples from the past couple days-
*At the market, I watched a person leave the grocery cart behind another car after they unloaded their groceries, instead of putting it away in the cart return a whole 20 yards away (I returned it when I was done putting my own groceries in the car).
*I was waiting for a pump at the Safeway gas station – a person in front of me pulled into a pump once it was open and washed his windows, but didn’t get fuel (couldn’t he have washed his windows without taking up a space?) – then when the person at the front pump left, someone drove in the wrong way (it is marked “wrong way”) and whipped into the open space while I was pulling up to it. Frustrated, I left.
*I followed someone over the bridge who apparently works at the same building I do, eventually following him into our parking lot – he didn’t use his turn signals once, despite a handful of lane changes and turns (the first was when he cut me off as he moved from the left hand lane into the right). He parked several spaces away from me and we walked into the office together – I don’t know him. Should I have said something, i.e. “I think your turn signal must be broken?”

I feel like not calling people on their inappropriate actions, if there is opportunity to do so (I wish there was a way to call out people cheating in the bus lane over the bridge!), enables the behaviors, but perhaps it is an exercise in futility. Is there a civil, gentle or humorous way to approach people in these situations? If a verbal confrontation arises (i.e. they tell me to go f— myself), is there an appropriate response? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and continue internalizing my disbelief and exasperation?

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[newnative]

Back when I had a car and drove to the store, I would get confused for an employee when I returned carts to the cart cage. I had entitled, snotty people handing me their cart, “here you go!” and then the look of shock when I returned to my own car. People at the grocery store are weird.
Sorry, no suggestions. I might have mentioned the turn signals to the office mate. as a friendly notice.

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[22blades]

I agree with you and is becoming increasingly difficult by the sheer volume of this stuff I see. When I see people abandoning things like cigarette butts or carts, sometimes I’ll pick it up and flag them down to “return” what they dropped or left behind.

Turn signals? That’s a whole ‘nuther matter. If you signal in a timely way, I’ll go out of my way to accomodate you. If you don’t, don’t expect me to read your mind. Alki drivers joining the High Span lane come to mind, both at the bottom and top if the onramp.

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[Ponderosa]

Address away, with eye contact, a calm voice, a gentle smile and give the person the benefit of the doubt without being rude or sarcastic. “Your turn signals might not be working in the rear of your car–I know you don’t see them while driving so I thought I would point it out.”
Although, when I see people too lazy to put away their carts, driving down the wrong way in a parking lot, etc. I generally call out to them simply i.e. “The cart return is over there” while pointing to the cart return. I’ve been called a bitch or worse, most of the time I get the Seattle ice out–pretending not to see/hear me, and avoiding eye contact, no response. Half of the time people might just not be paying attention, which is not an excuse, but if they know people will call them on it, they might do it less and start to pay attention to their surroundings and how their behavior affects other just a bit more.

Good luck!

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[JanS]

“Nice car you have there. Did you get the stripped down version?” when they question you back, just say “No signals”…

sorry…I’m a sarcastic person at times ;-)

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