By Megan Sheppard
On the WSBeat, for West Seattle Blog

From reports on cases handled recently by Southwest Precinct officers:

*Three young men showed up at a Fauntleroy business Thursday afternoon and purchased one item. But two of them also distracted the clerk while the third — claiming to have gone to use the bathroom — made off with a laptop computer from the rear of the store.

*Early Thursday, a man with a history of mental illness showed up at his brother’s Avalon-area house to retrieve a special copy of Playboy (special because it featured his “girlfriend,” the late Anna Nicole Smith). When he refused to leave, officers were called to provide assistance. They offered to call him a cab, but he walked off, saying that he was willing to “trust Steve Sarkisian” (the UW football coach) but that he “needed his Cougar gloves.” Football was still on his mind the next morning, when he was found throwing garbage on a statue at Admiral Viewpoint and mumbling about terrorists, 9/11, and former NFL star (killed in Afghanistan) Pat Tillman. The 37-year-old was transported to Harborview for an involuntary evaluation.

Five more summaries after the jump:

*A 15-year-old, recently released after a year in a juvenile residential program, has been drinking with friends and is increasingly disrespectful to his mother. Concerned after he shoved her, she called officers for assistance on Thursday. They found the drunk youth urinating on a parked car. Admitting he had pushed his mother, he told the officers it was not their job — but “God’s” — to judge him. Placed under arrest for domestic violence assault, he was also deprived of the bagged marijuana and associated cash that officers found in his pockets.

*On Thursday afternoon, 911 operators received a call about a shirtless man wearing a hospital bracelet wandering in the 3800 block of California Ave. SW. Officers found him—shaking and disoriented. Occasionally lucid, the man (who thought he was in Virginia) said he didn’t know when he had last eaten or had anything to drink. He was transported to Harborview for an evaluation.

*An intoxicated and belligerent Wallingford man was booked into King County Jail for investigation of harassment after visiting several Alaska Junction establishments on Saturday afternoon. During his little visit to our part of town, he threatened to “rip the head” off a crying child, have a bartender killed, and ignored the “walk all ways” signal, yelling at drivers who dared to proceed past him.

*Another visitor from the north — this time a 25-year-old Queen Anne woman — punched and choked an employee of an Admiral restaurant who was trying to clear the establishment after the power went out early Sunday. The suspect was booked into King County Jail for investigation of assault.

*Saturday morning, an Alki resident came home to find a strange vehicle blocking his carport and driveway. A records check showed that the car was registered to a tribal police organization in east King County. When no one from that organization responded to calls from Seattle Police, the car was towed away.

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Now that this roundup has a name, it has an archive category of its own, though we’ll still link the weekly reports on the WSB Crime Watch page, so you can catch it there if you miss it in the main news stream. We also continue to publish crime reports the rest of the week, when we get tips or hear noteworthy incidents via the scanner, so don’t be shy about letting us know when you see/hear news.