Regarding Sleepers in Seattle…

[JustSarah]

This is in reference to a deleted thread, so I’ll be vague, but I was curious about what their general food and drink policy is, so I walked by on my way home from the market.

As it happens, there’s a prominent and professionally-printed sign on the way in requesting no eating/drinking while in the store.

Just thought it was relevant to the aforementioned thread-that-shall-not-be-named.

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[transplantella]

Why would someone be browsing a furniture store eating and drinking anyway? Seems odd. Isn’t that what restaurants are for?

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[Erik]

Transplantella – The deleted thread was some mom bitching about being booted from the store because she was breast feeding.

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[JustSarah]

transplantella – the original poster and a defender in the deleted thread said they bet that Sleepers allows people to eat and drink (“their $4 Starbucks,” according to the reply) without saying anything, so obviously the store was just discriminating against breastfeeding mothers.

I had a feeling that, like most furniture stores, SiS probably discourages all food and drink, since there’s a chance of something being spilled. That’s all. ;-)

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[Junebug15]

Gee, too bad the originally thread got deleted because then maybe someone could actually see that Sleeper’s Food and Drink policy has NOTHING to do with my original thread.

I feel sorry for you that you interpreted my post as a “bitching”. I am only guessing that you have never breastfed a baby and if so have conveniently had a baby that likes to have hoods over her head, because you feel the need to hide this act (like some mother suggested to me).

I am sad to have missed some of the thoughtful replies I know viewers have posted since I went camping (Sunday), for now on my return I am left with only the handful in my memory of which I saw upon leaving. My biggest reply is to point out the obvious misunderstanding of the objective of my original posting.

Understand this for starters: Breastfeeding is not an easy deal. Some mothers struggle and give up soon there after. Some mothers never attempt it at all. Some mothers have it easy the whole way. And some mothers struggle very hard to find their way in their new breastfeeding relationship with their child and get over the hurtles, in hopes to continue out of the best and most innate interest of their child. This being said, it is not always easy to go outside the home and breastfeed your child in public places; for there is distractions, loud noises, a lack of room, etc. So in the midst of a very busy parade, crowded streets, filled cafes, and bustling shops it should be of no surprise that I sought the shelter of an empty furniture store to sit for 5 minutes and feed my child. Oh, and to answer another writer’s comment: I don’t feel like I need to “purchase” something every time I use some stores facility in general. I’d be broke if I bought something for every store I sat down in.

And a reply to another viewer’s comment, Yes, some babies do spit up after feedings (more bottle-fed babies ironically), but I don’t have that baby. And Yes, the Hooter Hider is a very great invention for all the new moms who feel uncomfortable feeding in public. I don’t feel that this is necessary for anyone to cover up (hell, our society is more comfortable seeing as much cleavage as one can squeeze out of their shirt rather than the tiny bit of breast they can see when one breastfeeds ; ) ), but did attempt to use this a long time ago and found my baby just won’t put up with the cloth hanging over her head while feeding.

Like I said, breastfeeding isn’t always as easy for everyone as it is some. Sometimes you have to just do what your baby needs or wants if you want to get some food in her.

Getting back to the point, I never wrote a thread about Sleepers in order to slow their business or attack their food and drink policy so you can lay those assumptions on someone else if you’d like. I too saw their sign and had I thought to leave my breast out the door I might have (obviously jk). I never made a comment about Starbucks coffees in this store, but you seem a little mixed up in your interpretation of this, so I thought I’d point that out.

Also, I still can’t find the place where it says I need to write or approach their management before posting a thread about the service I received there. Is this true? I can’t imagine there would be so many blogs if we all had to write a letter to management before commenting on our experiences in a pubic forum.

My point was to show how important it is to sometimes put your views/discomforts aside and accommodate others at times, especially when it is really important (like feeding a hungry baby). I made the statement more than once in my post that I just needed A PLACE to sit and nurse. It didn’t have to be on that couch or in view of the parade,etc. I just needed to share a space for 5 minutes that would allow for the abandonment of loud noises and crowds, in order to feed my child. If you have breastfed, you know that MOST older babies get distracted VERY easily. And yes, Sleepers (although privately owned) IS indeed a “Public” space as far as the rights to Breastfeed in Public are concerned. So, NO this posting was not about being able to lounge on the furniture and possibly “spray” my milk (FUNNY btw, whoever was concerned with milk-spillage). I might not be the best at conveying a situation in writing, but the situation I encountered at this store was not about “spills.” It was about a discomfort for the act of breastfeeding going on in that store. As a human right and soon to be if not already (not sure about the exact bill passage, etc.), breastfeeding cannot be discriminated/turned away ANYWHERE public. SO maybe I don’t need to be worried how uncomfortable that 30-something year-old man is with breastfeeding. Maybe HE needs to become better acquainted with human nature (funny how nature can shine through all our comforts of a modern society).

For those of you who find it “uncomfortable,” or “too intimate” seeing a mother breastfeed her child in public I feel sad. Your replies (minus a few) has reconfirmed my beliefs that there truly is a sense of discomfort and aire of burden around public breastfeeding for many out there in this country. It is disturbing that in a country and culture so advanced in many aspects, our ideals and values on what is “acceptable” or not can be so backwards.

On my way to Lake Wenatchee this weekend I picked up the newest subscription to Mothering Magazine and ironically read a story pertaining to this cultural perplexity around breastfeeding. Pick it up if you might. I found it very informative and inspiring. Maybe if we could go outside our comfort levels and understand more about others there would be less confrontation and more understanding. I guess understanding was what I was looking for when I posted my concern. I was hoping that pointing out my bad experience might help others to realize just how far from a good understanding and acceptance of public breastfeeding much of our society really is.

Thanks.

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[Magpie]

So, have you bothered to discuss this with management at the store or are you just using this as another opportunity to make your point known? The rules for rants are at the VERY top of the forum. It is the part that says STICKY, rules……….

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[datamuse]

If you are posting a rant about a business, YOU MUST SAY WHAT STEPS YOU TOOK FIRST TO NOTIFY ITS OWNERSHIP/MANAGEMENT. If you took those steps and still want to tell the world, fine, but this is NOT the place to come just to rag on a business without having let them know directly.

If you tried but could not get through – include that info, because that’s a helpful part of your story.

From here. Hope this helps.

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[shihtzu]

It’s too bad you didn’t read the original replies Junebug, there was some good feedback. No one denies your right to breastfeed anywhere, only your use of a private business as a resting place.

I’m a card carrying member of LLL. Fed my baby on Calif. Ave. during the parade.

Sorry you’re upset, perhaps lay off the Mothering magazine for awhile…:)

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[TheHouse]

JuneBug, sorry to tell you this but you’re 100% in the wrong on this one and don’t have any room to judge Sleepers In Seattle.

I am completely in favor of women breastfeeding in public. Both of my children were breast fed and I completely understand the challenges associated with finding a place that is comfortable for you and the baby.

The wrong turn you made was entering a private business and assuming that you can utilize their inventory as a place to feed your child. I’ve debated similar issues like this in the past and my stance is that it is unethical to use a private businesses resources without purchasing something. I think a better decision would have been to enter Coffee To A Tea, Husky Deli, or a slew of other restaurants in The Junction, order up a soda and feed your little one.

Your little line about the bill passage would most likely not apply to this situation. You were not in a “public” place, you were in a private business.

Just imagine if my wife walked into your house, sat down on your couch and began breastfeeding.

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[JustSarah]

Junebug, the first reply to your thread was someone up in arms about the whole thing who said something about how outrageous it is that SiS denied you your right to breastfeed wherever you may please, oh, and she was sure the store wouldn’t take issue with someone eating/drinking food or a “Starbucks coffee” in there, so asking you to leave was truly unfair.

So I was just pointing out that, true to my “hunch,” Sleepers does indeed have a policy against *anyone* eating or drinking in the store.

Also, I’m the person who made both comments you mention regarding the potential for the baby to spit up after/during feeding and that I feel the need to at least purchase something (or ask, if purchasing isn’t an option) before using a business’s restroom. I don’t feel I have the right to walk into any business i wish just to “relax” or use a restroom. This is why I seek out a coffee shop; for the price of a cup of tea (song lyric, if anyone catches it…) I can use the restroom and sit for a while knowing I am not “using” the business.

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[PlaneGuy]

I gotta go with TheHouse on this one, too. To be perfectly honest, you could have probably just taken a small break on a sidewalk bench and conducted business. When my wife was breastfeeding, she just “whipped it out” during the West Seattle Parade years ago, and simply put a receiving blanet over the baby’s head ~all while wandering in/out of different vendor canopy/tents.

TheHouse is right in that other establishments likely would have been more welcoming. Even SiS would have been, if you had bought something. If I was working that day, regardless of whether you were a “real customer” or not, I would have let you stay inside and breastfed. Irregardless of any food or beverage policy. Baby’s hungry. You’re backed up. Come in. I would welcome you no matter what. But that’s just me, and I don’t own/run the place.

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[Erik]

Junebug – The only person that seems uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public is you because you’re the one that ran away from the crowds. And pushing your insecurities on the rest of us by saying the world is against you doesn’t seem to be working for you either.

How bout next time just asking the business if it’s okay?

As for the public, just whip it out, we can deal.

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[Alkidancer]

I think a point to be made here is if Sleepers has a marked policy on the door saying no eating or drinking in the establishment then why didn’t the sales man Junebug run across just let her know there was no eating or drinking instead of getting all weird about the breastfeeding?

Its him getting wierd about the breastfeeding that bothers me personally.

Right or wronge that she was going to do it on the couch that they may be trying to sell her originally post showed how awkward the sales man was toward her because it was the act of breastfeeding she was going to attempt.

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[Alkidancer]

Erik-Some babies need a place with less distraction to eat. Every noise or pretty shiny thing passing by used to have my baby yank his head with my nipple still in his mouth thank you toward the distraction.

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[beachdrivegirl]

Isnt a baby breastfeeding eating/drinking? so JuneBug15 you were breaking the rules. And none of us where there so personally I am going to assume that the salesperson didnt have a problem with the breast feeding but the rule breaking.

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[JanS]

I guess I’m with Erik her in that perhaps before you sat down you might have explained that your baby needed to eat, and was there a quiet corner that you could use for about 5 minutes. What gets us in trouble is when we assume things…maybe you shouldn’t have assumed that it was OK to sit on their couch to breastfeed. The gentleman in question may have found you a nice corner away from distractions.

and…yay for breastfeeding !!

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[WSB]

I got a note from the O/P overnight saying where did the original thread go and I explained the rules. Re: “can’t imagine there would be so many blogs,” that’s one thing that sets this site – which has blog in its name but is NOT a blog, it’s a commercial news/information/discussion website – apart … we have rules. Very few. Most media-operated sites do have rules. I told the O/P in my e-mail reply to her that if she could say what she did to discuss it with the ownership/management, she was welcome to post again. Apparently she’s chosen to disregard that, so we’re giving one more chance here and then this is coming down around 10:30.

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[WSMom]

I think a little kindness is always in order and an infants needs should trump all other concerns. IMHO, if a mother asks politely for a quiet corner in a building to discreetly nurse her baby she should be given that small gift of kindness and respect without question. Offering her a glass of water to stay hydrated would just be lovely as well. I nursed all three of my children, mostly at home or in my car, but sometimes out and about (moms and babies need sunshine and parades too). I remember being treated with deference and kindness by nearly everyone, even with my colic burdened first born with lungs of an opera singer. I think that’s the way it should be. Sweet babies become toddlers who become mouthy teenagers before you can catch your breath. Let the new mom care for her baby the best way she knows how…give her the benefit of the doubt and a moment of your kindness, where is the harm in that?

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[KBear]

Of course it would be nice if Sleepers would allow nursing moms to sit on their merchandise and breastfeed. But they don’t have to, and they shouldn’t be expected to. I think I see where some children learn their overdeveloped sense of entitlement.

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[JustSarah]

WSMom, yes, that would be lovely, but in this specific case Junebug just walked into the store, sat on one of their couches for sale, and started feeding. That, as many people have said, is the problem. She did not ask to use their facilities in that way. Even if she had, I don’t think they would have been out of line in saying that they don’t allow food or drink in the store, therefore breastfeeding (and its potential spit-up mess) is not allowed as well.

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[WSMom]

Ahh Sarahscoot, I see your point. I must admit, permission asked for gives an opportunity for generosity to be bestowed.

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[MerylAlc]

Hello, all–my name is Meryl and my family owns Sleepers In Seattle. I would like to express my gratitude for all of the support we have received in this thread on the West Seattle Blog.

First of all, I would like to state that Sleepers In Seattle is in no way anti-breastfeeding. I own the store and I nursed all three of my children. Sometimes I did so in our store.

I think that it is unfortunate that Junebug15 did not approach one of our employees and explain her need to feed her baby. We always try to accomodate customers’ needs, whether that be to open the door for a customer who needs assistance, offer a drink of cold water or provide toys for children to play with while their parents shop.

But I think that we need to remember that Sleepers In Seattle is a business–a local, family-owned business yes, but it provides our family’s livelihood. No one will purchase a worn or dirty sleeper sofa. So every day we must ask people to finish their Husky ice cream cone outside and keep their children from jumping on the furniture with their shoes on. A nursing baby could potentially spit up on a sofabed. Would you purchase that sofabed?

I have spoken to my staff and we all agree that if a mother needs to feed her baby, we will provide a quiet corner and a chair for her. We have often had nursing mothers in the store, but usually they ask for permission and we find an appropriate spot.

I thank everyone for their input and I encourage Junebug15 to visit our store again and, please, just let us know you need to feed your baby, and we will provide a quiet corner for you.

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[JoB]

MeryAlc..

a very compassionate policy.

there is a difference between rights and privilege.

and appropriate and inappropriate places to host nursing mothers…

thank you for providing an appropriate and nurturing space for them.

now.. about that restroom :))))

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[cathyw]

We purchased a bed from SiS last month, and they were great. Pleasant, helpful and efficient. Needed to get that in there.

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[flowerpetal]

Glad to read Meryl’s reply and also glad that the thread didn’t get killed before that.

Now maybe we can put it to bed?

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