Questions to Ponde Over!

[beachdrivegirl]

with all of the bickering lately i figure everyone needs a good laugh! i know i got a couple after reading some of these. have fun!

IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING?

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CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?

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HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?

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WHY DO YOU HAVE TO “PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN”… BUT IT’S ONLY A “PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS”? WHERE’S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?

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ONCE YOU’RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?

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WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?

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WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?

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HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?

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WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY “SLEPT LIKE A BABY” WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?

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IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?

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WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU’RE ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY’RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.

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WHY IS “BRA” SINGULAR AND “PANTIES” PLURAL?

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WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?

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IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?

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CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?

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IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN’S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN’T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?

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WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY’RE BOTH DOGS!

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IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN’T HE JUST BUY DINNER?

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IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?

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IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?

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DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?

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WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?

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WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT’S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT’S IN YOUR BUTT?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY YOU GAVE ME YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

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[Anonymous]

BDG – LOVE it!!! Thanks for the laugh (and, yes, I did sing the alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle)!!!

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