From the precinct: Domestic violence is increasing. Here’s what you should know

| Safety | West Seattle news | West Seattle police

Given a recent rise in domestic violence – not just high-profile incidents like last week’s Highland Park case – here is a timely newsletter sent by Southwest Precinct crime-prevention coordinator Jennifer Danner:

The Southwest Precinct is seeing an uncharacteristic increase in aggravated assault incidents, with the majority of these being domestic violence-related.

Given this, and nature of the last year, the Seattle Police Department would like to offer the following crime prevention newsletter focused on domestic violence- including what is domestic violence, what types of resources are available, and how to report domestic violence to law enforcement.

Always remember- if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or is in danger, call 911 immediately. Please also keep in mind that you can text 911, if you are in a situation where it is unsafe to speak. Call if you can, text if you can’t!

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is often mistaken as someone losing their temper or mutual fighting in a relationship. Domestic violence is NOT about getting angry or arguing – but it IS about power and control. It is a pattern of harmful behavior by one person intended to control another person within a romantic, intimate or family/household member relationship. People who experience domestic violence can be married or not married; heterosexual, gay or lesbian; living together, separated or dating; or relatives. Men, women and children of all ages, races and classes can be victims. Without intervention, domestic violence can get worse, and could end in death.

Forms of Domestic Violence:

Domestic violence can take many forms, some of which are illegal. It can happen all the time or once in a while. Some forms of domestic violence are: emotional or verbal, controlling/intimidating, physical and sexual.

Reporting Domestic Violence to Law Enforcement:

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, police intervention can be lifesaving and may be part of your safety plan. The following information may assist you in feeling prepared whether you choose to call 911 or if police are summoned by someone else. You know your situation best; these tips are not meant to apply to every situation, rather offer helpful information to consider.

Tips and Considerations for Talking With Responding Officers:

-The primary duty of officers, when responding to a domestic violence situation, is to enforce the laws allegedly violated and to protect the complaining party.
-Officers may ask you specific questions to better understand the nature of the relationship, your living situation, and the incident that you are reporting.
-If your abusive partner is present, tell them you want to be interviewed separately.
-If you have been injured, show them any injuries on your body. Injuries may take time to show up. If you see a mark after the officers leave, call them back to take pictures. (The pictures may be used in court.)
-If your partner threatened you, tell them how they threatened you and if there was a witness. Try not to minimize your fear; if you are afraid your partner will hurt or kill you, tell the officers.
-If your abusive partner has broken any property, show the officers.
-If you have photos, text messages, emails or other evidence of the abuse you’ve experienced, show the officers.
-Tell the officers about any firearms your partner may own, and/or if your partner has threatened, harassed or injured you (or someone else) previously with a firearm.
-The officers must make a report stating what has occurred. This report can be used in court if your partner is charged with a crime.
-Write down the officers’ names, and the General Offense number of your case.
-Ask the officer if you can speak with the Victim Support Team.
-If they are not available to respond, you may call them to request a follow-up phone call.
-Officers will give you a “Seattle Police Domestic Violence Information and Resource Guide” that offers helpful information about the next steps in the criminal investigation and community resources.

Getting Help:

Please visit our website for a full list of local resources.

If You Need Help Now:

-If you’d like to report a violent assault, threat of violence or stalking behavior, please call 9-1-1.
-If you need immediate support and advocacy, you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (24 hours every day), 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 (TTY).
-To access confidential advocacy, emergency housing, and civil legal advocacy call the New Beginnings Hotline at 206-522-9472.
-If you’d like to speak to an SPD Victim Support Team advocate, please leave a message on our voicemail line: 206-684-7721.
Please indicate whether it is safe for us to leave a message at your return number.
-If you’re searching for ways to support someone else who may be struggling in their relationship, please refer to the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence Friends and Family Guide

A printable version of the newsletter is here.

Ws prayers February 5, 2021 (1:31 pm)

Domestic violence seem like it is a partner but sometimes its a family memeber. I knew someone who called the dv hotline for help with her teenage son ans there was no help available. I think idea of domestic violence needs a change it could be ur brother ur roomate ur husband ur wife and even your growing up child weve all been stuck together in our homes for too long it gets heated sometimes

M February 5, 2021 (2:21 pm)

I have lived through it with 2 babies 20 yrs ago. Physical DV, put his big hand around my neck to threaten, financially I was only given $40/week to make dinner. I had to ask 2 weeks prior to the babie’s diapers were running out for the money to buy them, cuz I only got those $40/week. I had no car, he moved us out to Renton. Even the grocery shopping, I had to push the stroller to a grocery store that was 20 + min. walk while I was carrying my daughter. I didn’t have bus money, as he was not giving me ANY money. When I was about 8 months pregnant, my husband told me he wants to party around, not ready for a family, and told me to go to DSHS. I wasn’t eligible, since he was working, even he didn’t give me any money for living expensing. Every night, waiting for him if he would come home or not. He was always drunk or high if he did. Then told me about the women he met at a bar, spending nights at her house, etc. Then one day, he said F to me, and left with 2 babies with no money. That was when my son was 1yr and half, my daughter was 1 months and 2 days old. He wasn’t paying rent or utilities for several months. I had to deal with it after he left. Luckily, I was able to move into a transitional housing, and didn’t need to live on a street. His mom blamed me that I nagged him (his behavior was aweful, it was more crying for him to change), so that was my fault my husband was drinking, high all the time, didn’t want to come home because of me. I didn’t have my own family to lean on. So I had to start school with public assistance to support my babies. I’m glad my husband left, otherwise, I would have killed him while he was asleep dead drunk. I just wish the DSHS would take a mental health of those domestic violence victims. I was forced to go to work or go to school (and reduced hours of work) right away, before I had time to heal emotionally. Even it’s been just about 20 yrs, I still have flashbacks, and that still kills me.

wsperson February 5, 2021 (3:09 pm)

I’m sorry you went through that, I hope you’re okay now.
DB February 6, 2021 (12:20 am)

I am also sorry this happened to you. It is obvious you are a very, very strong and compassionate individual. Thank you for sharing your story.

Survivor February 5, 2021 (3:20 pm)

I will be forever grateful to the judge who imposed a 10-year protection order against my mentally ill and violent brother. She very well may have saved my life. She certainly allowed me to piece together a good life without having to constantly look over my shoulder.

I did not get any support from my immediate family. My parents and siblings told me to not report the threats and didn’t believe he meant to injure me over and over again. The cousins who stepped up to help me emotionally gave me the most powerful tool by telling me “if I don’t take measures to protect myself, no one else will either.” It gave me the determination and conviction to seek help for the first time.

I had always been the one to advocate for others. Never myself. That ended when I realized that I had to stand up and demand that the abuse and threats stop even if I had to do it alone.

Thank god for the judge who heard me loud and clear even when I stood in that courtroom unable to speak beyond a bare whisper as my voice shook and tears flowed. She was and continues to be my hero. She released me from my family’s history of abuse that continues to this day with that brother’s children. I wish that I could have helped his kids.

DB February 6, 2021 (1:26 am)

I am sorry this happened to you. I am glad the judge helped you and glad you found your voice too. Thank you using it to tell your story as well.

Meeee February 5, 2021 (3:23 pm)

WA state state DV laws do cover more than partners/spouses:RCW 26.50.010 (6) “Family or household members” means: (a) Adult persons related by blood or marriage; (b) adult persons who are presently residing together or who have resided together in the past; and (c) persons who have a biological or legal parent-child relationship, including stepparents and stepchildren and grandparents and grandchildren.(7) “Intimate partner” means: (a) Spouses, or domestic partners; (b) former spouses, or former domestic partners; (c) persons who have a child in common regardless of whether they have been married or have lived together at any time; (d) adult persons presently or previously residing together who have or have had a dating relationship; (e) persons sixteen years of age or older who are presently residing together or who have resided together in the past and who have or have had a dating relationship; and (f) persons sixteen years of age or older with whom a person sixteen years of age or older has or has had a dating relationship.

Survivor February 5, 2021 (4:13 pm)

— Want to add that only one person in my wide circle of wonderful friends might guess that I am the person behind these words. I’ve done well in life. I’m strong, resilient, and tough. My name is known within some professional communities. Know that some people we care about carry deep scars that will never fully heal. Be gentle with each other, please. We all need compassion and to be heard. We build a strong community brick by brick. It’s painfully easy to allow the loudest voices to rip and tear everything down. West Seattle has been known as a tight community but’s not infallible. Every one of us plays an important role in this. That includes looking out for our neighbors for signs of abuse, and stepping up to see if someone in that household needs help or support. Every one of us needs to do our part — respectfully and with care and compassion.

Sorry, comment time is over.