Home › Forums › West Seattle Rants & Raves › RANT: Passive-aggressive notes!
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April 18, 2013 at 7:40 pm #607204
gothfruMemberI understand that some people think they are helping with anonymous notes left on doorsteps. But really, when was the last time you got a note like that and then took the advice?
A “neighbor” left a note on my doorstep, along with a book about dog behavior, and kindly suggested that my dog deserved daily walks.
Well, “neighbor”, Issola gets several walks a week, and typically a good visit to the doggie play park on weekends. On days she isn’t walked, she gets a bunch of fetch time in.
Perhaps you are concerned because she’s always outside? Well, Issola cannot stand being indoors. This has always been true; even when we lived in Texas, she preferred being outdoors in the 120 degree heat to being inside, in the AC. If I force her to be indoors, she will sit for a few minutes on her bed, and then insistently head for the door. I wish she would come inside more! I like having her nearby. Unfortunately, she has been outdoors her entire life (the first three as a stray), and that’s where she’s happy.
Really, the best way to “help” someone is probably striking up a conversation and being friendly, not something too many of my neighbors have bothered to do since we moved in :(
April 18, 2013 at 9:24 pm #788508
BostonmanMemberYou do know this is Seattle right? Passive agressive behavior is a trademark. I had heard about it before I moved here from 3500 miles away. Just go read the off leash dog threads.
April 18, 2013 at 11:08 pm #788509
seaopgalParticipantHi, gothfru: It’s not always easy for people to approach others and say something that might be construed as critical. The people who left the book might have thought long and hard about what to do about what in their eyes was a legitimate concern for your dog. Since you know you are doing the best/right thing for Issola, don’t worry about it. However, if you want to do something, you might take the opportunity to go around to your neighbors with the book in hand and say you’re trying to find who left it so that you can thank them and explain about your dog’s habits. The “guilty party” might not confess, but I bet at least some folks will commiserate with you (like Bostonman)… and you might meet some good people.
April 19, 2013 at 12:33 am #788510
WorldCitizenParticipantApril 19, 2013 at 2:03 am #788511
LStephensParticipantGothfru, have YOU tried striking up a conversation with your neighbors or is it just easier to rant about them on the blog?
We have tried talking with a neighbor couple about walking with their off-leash dog after I watched as one of our cats was chased from our sunporch by an off-leash dog (not theirs)and hit by a car. The cat survived, but the off-leash dog owner sure didn’t volunteer to pay for the vet bills. We have asked other off-leash walkers to just please walk on the other side of the street and we explain about the cat being hit. And before anyone starts with the “cats should be inside” comments, she was inside the porch with the door open sitting in the sun. However, this one couple continues to walk their dog off-leash, apparently entitled and the leash laws don’t apply to them. Yes, we understand the sidewalk is a public right-of-way, but we’ve asked for just a little neighborly courtesy while they are breaking the law.
So while it’s a grand idea to talk with your neighbors and everyone play nice, it really boils down to the fact that some folks are nice and neighborly while some folks just aren’t and they don’t care about anyone but themselves and their entitlements.
And as a last note Gothfru, fwiw, we have friends going through your same situation with people telling them how to manage their malamute who also likes to spend most of her time outside. She’s very well cared for, walked daily and rarely barks. Someone has now made a complaint to animal control about the dog, claiming she’s getting out of the fenced yard. We believe one of the busy-body neighbors has become obsessed with the dog and may be intentionally unhooking her from her long cable and luring her out of the yard through a weak point in the fence. Its a little hard to believe a 120 pound malamute could unhook a carabiner from a cable thats hooked to her harness on her back. We feel your frustration with others making your dog their business.
April 20, 2013 at 11:01 pm #788512
DBPMemberMay 14, 2013 at 12:10 am #788513
gothfruMemberThanks for the sympathy everyone. I’ve met a bunch of my neighbors – and we’re all friendly (well, friendly for Seattle – I moved here from Texas and no one is nearly that friendly here!), which is part of what frustrates me. Meh. Maybe someday I’ll be able to pass it on to someone who actually wants it :)
May 14, 2013 at 2:41 pm #788514
JoBParticipantpassive aggressive or not.. when neighbors leave a note on your doorstep it is generally because they have a problem…
yes, i have met those who think it’s their business to make me conform to their rules.. but they generally don’t notice their rules have been broken unless something triggers their notice.
for the most part.. it takes an annoyance of some kind to get them off their duff enough to leave a note and a book on your step.
having moved from texas where tolerance for the peccadilloes of neighbors is pretty high… you might not recognize the behavior that is upsetting to your neighbor…
whatever it is, it wouldn’t likely raise an eyebrow in Texas.. or in the parts of Oregon i come from :) but there you go.
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