My Husband, Tony Medeiros is missing. Please HELP!!

[jlhall]

My husband, I felt, was drinking and impaired, when I got ahold of him around 7:00 on his cell. He was parked behind Garlic Jim’s. I drove up to stop him from driving home. I called the police. I also pocketed the van key he dropped. He grabbed the key from me. He ran, saying, “You’ll never see me again. Have a good life. I love you” This is out of character. I think he felt pushed to the wall. I am worried that he might be suicidal. He ran east from Oregon and SW 42nd. His car is still there. He is 6′ tall, 51 years old, gray curly hair, balding, has a beard and mustache, wearing a beige long-sleeve shirt, yellow-brown Carhart jeans, white/black sneakers. I made a police report. They aren’t very concerned; I don’t feel they are really looking. I am worried about him hurting himself. Please help look for him. Can anyone get a group together to search? Can anyone please get the most exposure with this posting — post it to the front, twitter it, whatever? We have an 11 year old daughter. I don’t know what to do. Please call me, Jennifer, 941-2225, if you have an idea of anything that can be done. Thank you!

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[WSB]

If you have a photo please send it to me at editor@westseattleblog.com and we can add to this, for starters.

Did you tell police you feared he was suicidal? If police believe someone left voluntarily, there won’t be much urgency. But if the person is believed to be in danger, from themselves or others, that is different. I listen to the scanner all night almost every night and that’s what I hear (and that’s what I know from covering missing-person stories over 30 years in news media).

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[cjboffoli]

This is close for me so I just took a good drive around. Couldn’t see him obviously in any of the blocks around where he disappeared. Figuring if he was impaired he might be inclined to travel downhill I followed Avalon for a few blocks. Nothing. Absolutely quiet out there.

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[transplantella]

Please wait. I think you will find him. All is not lost.

I have faith with you that the moment will pass and his presence will return.

Very difficult. You are not alone. I care.

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[jlhall]

Thanks to lowman beach, cjboffoli, and transplantella. This is really tough, and I am blaming myself. I don’t want my daughter to not have a dad. Maybe I should have let him drive home. Maybe I am just too much of a controlling b–th. If anyone has a way to get photos out there, and to mobilize more people, I would be grateful. Thanks again, Jennifer — 206-941-2225, hallmed@msn.com.

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[JoB]

jlhall…

drunk people say stupid things and generally see life very differently when they sober up. panicking won’t do your daughter any good.

On the other hand, letting the police know that you think your husband might be suicidal might… as might posting his picture…

i hope your night is not too long…

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[jlhall]

Thanks, I was trying to figure our how to attach the photos to the post. I e-mailed them to the editor. Can’t figure out how to attach to post.

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[carrieann]

*BUMP*

I really hope he’s found, unharmed, and you can work through things when he has a clearer (and more sober) head. I’ll keep an eye out for him while I’m running errands today, and will send good thoughts your way. Hang in there!

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[B-squared]

i’ll be watching for him. i’m so sorry to hear he is has run off and is obviously working through something hard.

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[maplesyrup]

Did he show up for work this morning?

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[jlhall]

Thanks so much everyone for your support last night and this morning. Thanks to the gentleman who called to say that he’d talked to my husband in his back alley. My husband came home at 6:30 this morning. He had had an alcoholic relapse; although he had been doing some drinking in secret, which I had suspected, questioned him about, harangued him about, and then felt guilty about it (which I hear is classic co-dependent behavior). He said he’d had beers yesterday afternoon (rationalizing that they would be his last before going back to AA), and then apparently stopped at a liquor store between work and West Seattle. I could tell that he was impaired over the phone; went to the alley behind Garlic Jims to stop him from driving home, got his key, called the police, he wrestled the key away from me, ran off, yelling that I’d never see him again — which was scary. He had had a similar episode to this, but that was over 10 years ago. He was in a black out then, and he told me that he didn’t remember what he said or did past a certain point last night, either. We’re going to his doctor today for a treatment referral. I am seeking referrals for my daughter and myself, and we will go to Alanon/Alateen. Tony has looked at the blog, and it is somewhat embarrassing for him, but he also realizes that he needs help, and that people care. Again, thanks so much for your support. West Seattle is such a great place to live.

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[JanS]

I’m so glad that you’ve found him, and that now he can get some help. It IS a struggle every day for alcoholics, and I wish him the best…and you and your daughter, too. Gentle hugs for all of you. Please don’t hesitate to call on your community again if you need to.

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[Diane]

re “Tony has looked at the blog, and it is somewhat embarrassing for him”

~

yikes, this sure takes the anonymous right out of AA; sometimes I’m so grateful there was no internet, cameras in cell phones, etc, when I got sober 27 yrs ago; I’m afraid this level of publicity/humiliation may have caused me to drink/run away

~

glad he’s found, ok, hopefully will get real help, for him and your family

~

now that he’s been found safe, I would implore westseattleblog to remove his photos, please

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[celeste17]

I am glad he is home safe. Please take care of yourself and your daughter or you won’t be any good to your husband

If you need help please reach out. Take time for yourself during this stressful time.

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[jlhall]

I agree with Dianne, and I wish I were savvy enough to remove the photos myself. Tony just laughed at this and said, “What would be really embarrassing now if if someone sees me and says, `Oh no, come with us! We have to get you back to your wife!” One thing about the internet, though, is that it has replaced the village square where people hang out, talking, maybe showing some of their more questionable aspects. I feel chagrined about posting this and pleading for help while I was freaked, but I was so afraid. Thanks again.

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[WSB]

As the photos are no longer relevant, I am removing them. However it is important to note for those who post anything online – Your control ends when you hit publish, even if it is your own site. Google (and maybe other search engines – I’m not aware of how they all work) caches most of the Web frequently and that means even if something is taken off a website, it can live on in Google cache, which is controlled by Google, NOT by the site owner. Meantime, I am closing this thread.

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