How to know it is time to say goodbye to a pet

[Sadandconfused]

We are dealing with the awfully sad decision of letting our beloved cat (Bean) of 15 years go to heaven… how do you know when it is the right call to do so?
He is a big orange tabby 15 yrs. old that developed diabetes 5 yrs ago and we have been managing it very good even our Vet says we have done an excellent job with it then just 2 months ago he got sick took him to the ER Vet they couldn’t find anything wrong said he was in pretty good shape for age and diabetes we took him home and then to our regular Vet next day, same thing as ER then all of a sudden he had 4 seizures never before Vet said he doesn’t know why, week went by Bean seemed to be his old self and now all of a sudden he was sick acting again he got dehydrated, blood glucose went out of control we can’t regulate it with his insulin… he eats still but sometimes not then we can’t give him his insulin… because as mentioned BG goes haywire. Dec.17th the Vet took blood, urine… and results came back a little off but nothing terrible but they are still waiting on the UA that takes 3 to 7 days…REALLY?! why so long.

We’re at a loss do we keep him just because of our love and sadness of letting him go (selfishness) or let him go and then be afraid the test results the Vet is waiting on finds something simple to cure???

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[WSB]

Much empathy; our cat is 19 and I have been fretting over this for a year. Our previous two cats have died “naturally” at home just as they got to a point where I was wondering if it was time to call in a vet. Friends have told me that “they’ll let you know” – if they are still eating and drinking, and don’t seem really miserable, it might not be their time yet. Hope the medical info at least comes in soon to help you decide – TR

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[birdrescuer]

One doctor answered that question by saying, “Probably 2 weeks before you finally do it.” Another said he had never heard a person say “I wish I had waited longer.”

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[AlkiKmac]

My heart goes out to you in figuring out how to make this decision. I’ve used two rules of thumb. 1 – You’ll know when it’s time. Unfortunately, in hindsight, I now agree with what was mentioned above “Probably 2 weeks before you finally do it”.
1 – When their suffering outweighs your love for them. Maybe try to put yourself in their paws and determine their quality of life. At the end of they day your love for them lives forever, but suffering only has to continue if we let it. At least we have mercy to end a pet’s suffering, and ours.

I hope this post helps you a bit.

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[Sadandconfused]

UA results just came in. No bacteria in urine…I asked why is his BG levels so whacky and the Vet says to do a 12hour BG Curve so they can see where and how the insulin is working not working then go from there. She says since he is still eating and using the box lets try the curve 1st…this is so heartbreaking for me and the husband and I can’t imagine what it is doing to Bean.
Like you WSB I also had 1 die at home because I was to afraid to take her in to end her suffering. And yes up until the end she loved me no matter what, she stumbled from her bed laid next to me and passed…
Pets are gifts from heaven and hopefully what is best for Bean the decision will come to us soon.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Sadandconfused.
• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Sadandconfused.

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[Ponderosa]

I’m so sorry about your cat. I had to put my dog down in somewhat expected yet urgent circumstances this summer, and it’s never easy. I think it’s hard to make the call in your situation, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts. What’s clear to me is that you are doing an amazing job caring for Bean in his twilight years, so many pets don’t get as much love and attention that your Bean is experiencing. No matter when you decide it is time, know that your attention and care to your cat gave him a fantastic life!

We consulted with a hospice vet when we knew our dog’s condition was not curable and he was getting toward the end of his life. Although we weren’t able to put him down at home, it was great consulting with a vet who could help us make him comfortable in his final weeks. If your vet doesn’t provide in-home end of life care, and you are interested, I recommend Dr. Jason at https://gentlehandscherishedpaws.com/

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[Coach Stephanie]

My heart goes out to you! I had a diabetic kitty and we were never able to get his blood sugar under control. After 6 months of twice-daily shots and enough BG curves to justify buying my own monitor, he had so much nerve damage in his hind legs that he could barely walk. The day he could no longer make it into the litter box and had an accident right next to it, I knew it was time. I hope this helps.

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[Graciano]

WSJoy, this is the original poster just at home now and actually replying with husbands user name.
We had his blood sugar maintaining at a good level up until his episode in October. These past 2 weeks though have been really bad.
Examples:
12/8 am BG 169 – pm 275
12/9 pm- 547
12/10 pm 411
12/15 pm 519
12/17 took to vet and we took a small curve which his BG’s were from 379,225,188,130,234, & 430 (this was in every 2hr increments)
12/18 am the word HI on meter took again 674
12/19 am 301- pm 662
12/20 am 500 – pm 65 this one @3:43pm
All of these readings were after his AM or PM feedings just before injection was due. Bean is now showing hind leg curving inwards and weakness his third eyelids are showing in both eyes, eats sometimes good sometimes bad. :( Now the Vet wants us to do the 12 hour curve so they can see if we need to up his insulin and said that the only way they could tell if there’s something else going on like with his kidney, gall bladder, and or pancreas is to do an ultrasound which is a mobile unit so can’t do today and to tell us what?

My apologies if I’m long winded but this is so heartbreaking to us…THANK YOU to ALL for your concerns and information

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Graciano.
• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Graciano.

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[SJoy]

What does your gut say? Not your heart or your head, but your gut. We had to put one of our dogs down a couple of months ago. So hard and sad and I wondered if we were doing the right thing, even at the time. But I am so glad we did, looking back now with a clear head and heart, she was miserable. I have a picture of her a week before and it breaks my heart how miserable she was.

Again trust your gut. I’m so sorry 😥 this is the worst part of of having our beloved pets.

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[Talaki34]

First things first. Try to relax. Breathe.

Think about what you want for your Bean and what Bean really needs as a cat. Once you have decided what your parameters are for a good life, then discuss them honesty and openly with your vet. Ask many questions. Knowledge is the key to making sound decisions.

The first question I would consider asking is; what can we do right now for Bean to ensure (as much as possible) that he is comfortable while we think things through? Best guess, how much time do we have to make a decision?

Then I would sit down with the Vet and ask some questions. Questions like; if we get Bean through this, what might/will Bean’s life be like? What are we looking at for long-term care? Is it something Bean will be able to tolerate well? If the treatment is going to be hard for Bean to endure, is the outcome worth it. Is pain an issue now or in the future and can it be managed? What will all of this cost? Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with dealing with the crisis at hand, we forget there is tomorrow.

After all the medical questions have been answered, these last questions are going to be the most difficult to ask your Vet and yourselves. As you indicated in the last lines of your original post…

1. Now that we know what a “Quality” of life means for Bean, are we trying to help Bean because we truly believe he stands a chance of having that life?
2. Are we rushing things because we are afraid of being those people who wait too long?
3. Are we are trying to keep all of us from (future) thinking that we could have done more?
4. Have we become so focused on what is wrong with Bean that what is right has been misplaced?

After all the questions have been answered, take a moment to breathe again.

Many blessings at this difficult time.

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[jissy]

Totally agree with birdrescuer, that was my experience with my last cat, I waited too long and regret it to this day.

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[Sadandconfused]

First and foremost I’d like to THANK EACH and EVRYONE of YOU for your thoughtful words and wisdom on this very trying time for my husband and myself!
Bean is still here with us but it was a confusing weekend, we did the BG Curve on Saturday and his BG’s stayed in the very high 600’s and low 700’s then Sunday we did another one, not every 2 hours but close to it and that one he was in the high 300’s once dipped to 105 and then back up to 351 this is why we are having a very hard time with the thought of letting him go but then his BG this morning at 440am was 465??? Results sent to Vet now we wait to see what they think.

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[Sue]

I’m in a similar place with my senior/sick cat and sympathize with what you’re going through. My vet recommended finding a quality of life quiz online, such as https://journeyspet.com/pet-quality-of-life-scale-calculator/ and tracking the changes to see how they’re doing.

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[Sadandconfused]

I’m sorry Sue this is very saddening and tough for you as it is for us isn’t it… I will take a look at the website you gave, thank you.

But now what we are noticing is we’ve been giving Bean fluids, Lactate Ringers and the day after getting it his BG goes skyrocket…is there some sort of sugar in that “liquid”? Question has been sent to Vet but they are closed today.

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[Graciano]

We said goodbye to Bean this morning… it was the hardest and saddest decision we have ever had to make…
I again want to thank everyone that gave us their thoughts, sympathies and advise on this very difficult time for my husband and me.

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[miws]

Condolences to you both…

Mike

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[Ponderosa]

Graciano, I’m so sorry to hear about Bean. Thinking of you both during this tough time.

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[Sadandconfused]

MIWS and Ponderosa,
Thank you so much and apologies for the 2 user names…don’t know how to log back on from work and home.

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