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April 22, 2015 at 8:30 pm #817245
wonttellyouMemberDoes anyone else hate when cashiers, especially at the grocery store, ask personal questions like, “What else do you have planned for today?” If I buy something from the pharmacy aisle, they ask about what is ailing me. If I buy children’s cereal, they ask about the number or ages of the children they assume that I have.
I’m a friendly person and don’t mind chit-chatting about the weather. But if I don’t answer these nosy questions and try to deflect with polite small talk on an appropriate subject, they’ll often repeat their original question.
I was taught that it’s rude to ask strangers personal questions. The truthful answer that comes to mind is, “That’s none of your business,” but I don’t want to be rude in response to their rudeness.
Can anyone help me figure out a polite way to respond?
April 22, 2015 at 9:02 pm #823668
BearsChickParticipantConsider deflecting with humor or a polite, yet direct response that should make it obvious you’re not sharing more information…
What else do you have planned for today? “I plan on winning a fortune in the lottery. Not sure if it’s my lucky day yet.”
Of course there’s the oldie but goody….”Why do you ask?”…and let it hang out there….
If I buy something from the pharmacy aisle, they ask about what is ailing me. “Do you really want the gory details? I have pictures!”
If I buy children’s cereal, they ask about the number or ages of the children they assume that I have. “The cereal is for me…my guilty pleasure”.
Of course, there’s the oldie but goodie…”Why do you ask?”…and let it hang out there….
April 22, 2015 at 10:09 pm #823669
anonymeParticipantwonttellyou, I agree with you, especially about the question “What do you have planned the rest of the day”? This query has become so ubiquitous that I think, unfortunately, it is being taught as a misguided attempt at “good” customer service. While possibly well-intentioned, I find it uncomfortable being asked a question that is not only personal – but that the asker has absolutely no interest in hearing the answer to. Just a bit of sincere courtesy is all that’s needed.
April 22, 2015 at 11:49 pm #823670
PangolinPieParticipantI actually like it when they engage a little, instead of silently scanning my stuff. “What are you doing for the rest of the day” doesn’t bother me at all. (But I would definitely not care for it if they saw something from the pharmacy and asked about that!)
Any question like that which I don’t care to answer, I’d respond to with “Not much, and you?” which puts it back on them to talk about themselves. And most people, as we know, would rather talk about themselves than about you. :)
April 23, 2015 at 12:48 am #823671
TanDLParticipantIf a clerk asked me that question, I would choose to think it wasn’t personal at all, just more about trying to make friendly small talk. Quick answer to the inquiry in the same spirit as PangolinPie: Not much, how about the rest of your day? They would probably talk about working the rest of the day to which I would offer sympathy and we could commiserate about the state of workers these days. We could then part having had a nice conversation about not much at all.
April 23, 2015 at 12:50 am #823672
seaopgalParticipantI agree with PangolinPie. The “what’s ailing you” seems out of line, and I would be direct there, but for the rest its easy enough to deflect and be kind.
April 23, 2015 at 1:17 am #823673
JanSParticipantI’m with TanDL…life is too short to be offended by someone making polite conversation. That’s what they’re paid to do. I’m lucky in that I do my shopping at Safeway, have for years, they know me, and I them. So, it’s more of a friendly, neighborhood thing. You don’t have to give long, drawn out answers…just be polite back.
April 23, 2015 at 2:36 am #823674
JTBParticipantTake the high road. True politeness is based on your firm belief that everyone is good and decent and deserves respect. If you act from that place, people will naturally respond in kind.
April 23, 2015 at 5:56 am #823675
SueParticipantI usually go with something along the lines of “nothing special; how about you?”
April 23, 2015 at 7:01 am #823676
acemotelParticipantIt’s just people trying to be sociable – agree with JTB. There are so many things to really be upset about, such as the fact that human beings live in tents outdoors!!! or that the middle class is disappearing!! it’s a nice gesture that people take the time to connect, in whatever awkward manner….. I finally came to understand that when people say, “hi, how are you doing?” it’s just like people shaking hands, acknowledging each other, not a quest to understand your deepest heart. I have never heard the pharmacy clerk ask about a condition; that one is just bizarre, I can’t even imagine it ever happening at my pharmacy (Safeway).
April 23, 2015 at 10:29 am #823677
littlebrowndogParticipantI view the grocery store query as superficial small talk, not unlike “How’s your day going today?” And I answer it equally blandly with something like “enjoying the sunshine” or “just hanging out” or “odds and ends.” I have never in my life had anybody in a pharmacy ask “What ails you?” And if I did I would ask for the store manager to inform them it was unacceptable and might even be a violation of privacy laws.
April 23, 2015 at 2:13 pm #823678
BonnieParticipantI agree with JTB 100%. I don’t think it’s rude for them to be personal with me and ask how my day is or what I’m up to. They are probably bored with their job and like to talk to people. They are just trying to be sociable. Not rude at all. I have never had a pharmacist ask personal questions about what my prescriptions. If a checker at a grocery store asks me what I think of a particular product it’s not rude, or if they ask what I’m making I’m not offended. They probably are curious. What’s wrong with that? I’m not above them and I enjoy talking with them too.
April 23, 2015 at 2:32 pm #823679
JoBParticipantApril 23, 2015 at 2:59 pm #823680
maplesyrupParticipantThe pharmacy question is a bit inappropriate (though probably innocent). I’d probably just say, “do you really want the answer to that?”
But nobody’s ever asked me that in a drugstore. I’d be surprised if the standard training didn’t instruct them not to ask those sorts of questions.
The rest of it though- not a big deal at all. Sometimes people in Seattle need to lighten up.
April 24, 2015 at 3:49 pm #823681
trickycooljParticipantSomething keeps telling me it would be super fun to bait a notoriously nosy cashier with a seemingly strange basket of goods. Might scare them from asking what you have going on later today. Throw a box of condoms in the basket and the possibilities are endless! :)
April 24, 2015 at 5:23 pm #823682
JanSParticipantlol…a bit of rope, some lube…TMI? Tricky, you set my mind to thinking…
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