Home › Forums › Open Discussion › What to do about man sleeping in car…
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August 20, 2013 at 10:45 pm #796062
blblParticipantMaybe because he has every right to park on the street, close to his family.
Your point may have been to illustrate the many issues of living in your car, but what you said was, “Call the police”. Being poor is not a crime. Sleeping in your car is not a crime. The OP didn’t fear for his safety, so calling the police would only be to harrass him and waste tax money. If you keep treating people like criminals, they may eventually live down to your expectations. Treat people like humans, and they may return the favor.
August 20, 2013 at 10:51 pm #796063
TanDLParticipantSurely a couple of the neighbors could just introduce themselves and talk to him in a neighborly way, to assess who he is. Maybe he’s a nice guy and how will you know if you don’t start a conversation? Has there been an uptick of crimes in your neighborhood in the past couple of weeks? If not, there’s a good chance he’s not on a mission to commit crime, but you’ll never know if you don’t talk to him. Maybe he could do a good thing and keep an eye on things in the street. Don’t judge before you know for sure.
A friend of mine recently lost his living quarters and moved into a garage of a friend in the Morgan Junction area. He was in the garage for just about a week while the friend’s basement was being readied for him so he could help out with an elderly resident living there. The neighbors immediately called the police without trying to get to know the guy or finding out the story. The officer was rude and threatening at first but finally calmed down when he realized that all was well and my friend wasn’t a criminal out to take advantage of the neighborhood. All those bad feelings and wasted time by the police could have been avoided if the neighbors had just taken a moment to say “hi” and talk to him for a moment.
August 20, 2013 at 11:08 pm #796064
WorldCitizenParticipantAgain…talk to the guy. It’s easy:
” Hi there. My name is_________, and I’m apparently your neighbor. What’s your name?”
Then take it from there. You know, the same stuff they teach all kids when learning how to talk to someone from age 3.
I think you’ll be amazed with what comes out of his mouth. And as a bonus, it won’t be hearsay.
August 20, 2013 at 11:21 pm #796065
EdSaneParticipant@worldcitizen, it’s a very relevant article. Just because the person in this instance is living out of his vehicle does not mean he should be afforded less respect then anyone else. This sounds like a very minor annoyance that’s easily solved by moving to a gated community where you don’t have to associate with society at large.
August 20, 2013 at 11:45 pm #796066
singularnameParticipantA few weeks back someone opened a thread soliciting opinions about Earth’s environmental crisis, and I expressed my pessimism, apparently depressing some folks and taking some mild dissing for being arrogant or something similar. But this thread is a prime example of where I was coming from then and what depresses me (and EdSane’s link fueled it even more).
Treating human beings like garbage–and actively so. (I know that my passive inactions do the same thing.)
Piecing together a vicious story from at least second-hand gossip like reality TV characters.
Re. bathrooms, the homeless are supposed to hold it for 8 or how ever many months, or years? They’re lucky if they have enough to eat to take a dump.
Just flippin’ talk to the guy!
August 21, 2013 at 12:34 am #796067
funkietooParticipantI ditto everything blbl, world citizen, singularname & a couple of others said.
Just go talk to him. If you are nervous, take another neighbor. Be respectful and friendly, you may be pleasantly surprised by the results.
August 21, 2013 at 3:23 am #796068
kgdlgParticipantUm, the OP hypothesized that there was a restraining order against this guy. I am really sorry, but do you all know how many women are stalked in situations like this every year? Many that end in some kind of violence? It is totally not ok to allow someone who may have a restraining order out on hi to lurk near his victim’s house. This should absolutely be reported to police so they can determine e if this is the case. If not, no harm no foul, he can move to another block. Clearly none of you have ever been threatened in this way!
August 21, 2013 at 4:04 am #796069
inactiveMemberExactly what I am thinking kgdlg. Nobody here knows what is actually going on. Nobody. But IF a child is involved in a situation, it serves that child to call SPD if there is any chance they can help these people – if needed. One who is knowledgeable of acts of stalking and DV acts on the side of caution. Then if no harm then no foul.
It is about boundaries, people. Boundaries. Unless you are professional mediators, mind your boundaries and let the professionals do their job.
SPD tells us to call them if we see suspicious behavior. You folks who say it is a waste of SPD time do NOT pay attention to what our officers tell us, let alone understand that much of what police officers do every day is intervention and referral work. It is a part of the community policing they TRY to do, if given the opportunity. But people have to call the professionals rather than posting on the forums so bored people can blather and confuse the issue.
This thread was utterly predictable. Sigh.
I hope the OP called SPD and does NOT post anymore more. Some of you seemingly have no sense :/
August 21, 2013 at 4:46 am #796070
singularnameParticipantSo … when asked for an opinion if it doesn’t jive with yours it’s because we’re bored and have no sense. Y’all are some real fine folk … of privilege, entitlement, and paranoia. The OP’s “hypothesis” (which seems to be based on a whole lotta neighborhood gossip) is as valid as your assertion that I’ve never been threatened before–I have, more times than I can count, to extremes I PROMISE you will make yours look like stepping in gum. So there goes your logic out the window.
All that said, I to some level will hold respect for whatever the OP decides to do or not do. He/she asked, came back with more information that made my opinion more firm, and I expressed it.
Stop being disrespectful and harassing to those who can’t or don’t meet your norm.
August 21, 2013 at 5:31 am #796071
GenHillOneParticipantJust to flip things around a little…a lot of folks here are assuming he’s homeless or down on his luck. What if he’s not? What if it really is a bad domestic situation. Or both? If it were me, I’d trust my gut and at least ask the police to check it out.
August 21, 2013 at 7:17 am #796072
WorldCitizenParticipantFerchrissake…it just a guy sleeping in a car. Talk to him. You don’t know ANYTHING about him. Talk to him. You’re concerned about your privacy. Talk to him. You want to feel good about yourself? Talk to him.
Restraining orders…gimme a break.
August 21, 2013 at 2:03 pm #796073
kgdlgParticipantWell WorldCitizen, your assumption that he is just “down on his luck” is just as valid as mine (that he may be in a DV situation). And the appropriate entity to figure this out is not you or me or the OP. it is the cops. I continue to ask, why isn’t he in front of his girlfriends house? This isn’t a “privileged” attitude. It is potentially one that prioritizes the safety of women and children. And btw, if he is a DV offender, he probably won’t volunteer this info when you have a polite conversation with him.
August 21, 2013 at 5:43 pm #796074
WorldCitizenParticipantI didn’t assume he was down on his luck (which, by the way is a pretty safe assumption for someone sleeping in their car…a far safer one than him trying to be close to his family by sleeping in his car). I related a story about a guy who was down on his luck in front of MY house. I assume nothing about the guy and advocate talking to him. That’s it. Just talking to him.
I’m a big fan of not making too many assumptions and instead, getting direct information. I’m also a big fan of talking to your fellow man and your neighbors when you have a problem and not shuffling it off to the police without having the basic decency to speak to someone first.
On a separate but somewhat related note,I’ll tell you, I’m glad I’m not poor or down on my luck and needing to make due with what I’ve got for a while. (Not saying this is what is happening with the guy in question.) I’d have to deal with people who assume I’m dealing with skirting a restraining order or whatever and am a threat to those around me. Come on now, we’re all people. If I’m not giving you any reason to think I’m a danger to you you shouldn’t assume I am one. It seems we’re living increasingly detached and insular lives where basic human interaction is seen as a risk. I just don’t understand how one gets to that view. Go outside. Meet people who are different than you. Talk to them.
Ok ,rant done. This guy deserves as much respect as anyone else you just meet. Period.
August 21, 2013 at 7:25 pm #796075
funkietooParticipantWorld Citizen…you are my new best friend. Spot on!
singularname…you too! Like you, I have been both threaten and assaulted on more then one occasion.
I would still start with a conversation with this man. Not every human being is a threat.
August 21, 2013 at 8:18 pm #796076
EmmyJaneParticipantAnother potentially good discussion with constructive ideas and community suggestions ruined.
August 21, 2013 at 9:30 pm #796077
anonymeParticipantYou just never know, and a conversation won’t necessarily get you anything – including the truth. On the afternoon of May 30, 2012, I had a pleasant conversation with a guy named Ian Stawicki. Caution doesn’t hurt anyone.
August 21, 2013 at 11:00 pm #796078
kgdlgParticipant“Another potentially good discussion with constructive ideas and community suggestions ruined.”
How does pointing out a very real possible danger related to DV – an epidemic in our community by the way – ruin a discussion? The OP mentioned a possible restraining order. I maintain, why isn’t he parked in front of his girlfriend’s house? That is reason enough to suspect that something is not right here and to have the cops check out the situation…
“Ok ,rant done. This guy deserves as much respect as anyone else you just meet. Period.”
Sure, talk to him and treat him with respect. That doesn’t mean you should trust what he says. That is why the cops should do the questioning, because they can determine who he is and the reason he is there. If for no other reason than “down on his luck”, no harm no foul, he can continue sleeping in his car and maybe the cops can refer him to some good services to help him out of the place he is in…
In this day and age, I absolutely think that caution is needed when dealing with situations that are out of the norm in our neighborhoods. As Anonyme rightly points out, Ian Stawicki probably seemed like a normal guy to her in her conversation, so many people do! It is not privilages or unjust or unfair to approach a stranger with caution. I would argue that a call to the cops is one of the most caring things you can do, as they will talk to him about services.
August 22, 2013 at 1:10 am #796079
EmmyJaneParticipantkgdlg- I was referring to the posts where people start to freak out on the OP in judgmental ways (starting at post 11). Post 14, in my opinion, is just ridiculous.
August 22, 2013 at 1:16 am #796080
EdSaneParticipant@#43, elaborate. Where is the good discussion with such adjectives as ‘ridiculous’.
(just a pet peeve, it’s rude to state post number and fail to cite poster).
August 22, 2013 at 7:48 pm #796081
Ms. SparklesParticipantTo those who believe it is priviledged, elitist, or NIMBY to be uncomfortable with someone living in a car and even more ill-at-ease to strike up a conversation with them, I offer that in our particular society we’ve established a social norm of living in permanent structures.
We are aware of people whose lifestyles are outside that social norm (by circumstance or choice) but that doesn’t make it any less “abnormal.” It is human nature to judge – instict to make snap decisions about potential danger. So when you come across something that is outside the social norm, it’s not snobbery to question it.
August 22, 2013 at 8:47 pm #796082
kgdlgParticipantEmmyJane, apologies. I obviously made the wrong assumption. Sorry, forum craziness over here.
August 22, 2013 at 9:04 pm #796083
SonomaParticipantLet’s get down to brass tacks (ouch!)
1. The OP began this thread three days ago, and there’s been more than 40 comments thus far, but no action.
2. Some of the comments have included constructive advice, rather than passive-aggressive arguing.
Options such as: Call the cops to get their advice, OP and some neighbors approach the guy, OP and neighbors see what’s going on with the girlfriend and the restraining order.
3. I have to wonder if Sleeping Dudie is reading this and scratching his head.
So, bottom line: Take action already! Do something!
August 22, 2013 at 9:49 pm #796084
singularnameParticipantSparkles … You should read The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down. … Abnormal Schmabnormal.
Sonoma … Agree. Forgive me that I’m just caught truly shocked at a whole ‘nother level of intolerance.
August 22, 2013 at 10:21 pm #796085
blblParticipantMs. Sparkles, sure, you can judge whomever you want for any reason. People do. But own that. Take responsibility for it. Settle down with your superiority and judgment and intolerance and wrap up in them like a warm blanket. Or improve yourself. I agree with singularname that you should read, but I think you should read anything. Read everything. Get out and look around. Travel. Talk to people. Ask questions. Maybe then you wouldn’t be “uncomfortable” when you see someone living differently than you. Maybe you wouldn’t see danger where there is none. Maybe you would learn that different does not mean “abnormal”.
August 23, 2013 at 12:05 am #796086
TanDLParticipantFor goodness sakes… Sonoma is right. Do something already. What kind of car is it and where is he usually parked? I’ll go talk to him if you’d like. I don’t live that far from Genesee, I’ve got fairly good instincts and if something seems wrong I’ll let you know then I’ll call the police if you don’t want to get involved.
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