Jack
Hello–My spouse and I have been foster parents for about 6 years. We just discontinued our license this year after adopting one of the children we fostered. We were licensed through Lutheran Community Services.
WA State’s 36 hour training is inadequate and only really skims the surface of the issues you will encounter as foster parents.
Lutheran has a program that prepares you for probably EVERY possible behavior, emotion, etc. you will encounter not only with the child you foster but the “system” they are in. You are truly educated through this program. The program at Lutheran is free.
I mention this program because it is a “foster to adopt” program. The child you foster you agree to adopt. It is called concurrent planning. They plan to return the child home to their biological parent at the same time they plan for you to adopt the them. The children in this program are in it because they either have been placed in numerous homes or the situation is very serious. It is supposedly the child’s last stop in the system. Basically, the parents get a year+- to “clean up” OR their parental rights are teminated and you get adopt.
Approximately 20% of the children in this program go back home. 80% get adopted. Our first placement was returned home after 20 months of living with us. It was devastating, however the mother did clean up and did every program she was required to do to get her children back. In the end it was the best thing for their family to be re-united.
We waited a year after our child was returned home to grieve and get enough strength to do it again.
When we were ready we agreed to take another placement. After 3 months our child’s biological mother reliquished her parental rights and we started the process for adoption. It took about 8 months to complete.
The huge positive about taking the class through Lutheran is that by the end of the class you know absolutely what KIND of child you are willing to take. The state class you do not. After taking the class at Lutheran and you are licensed you will be offered the kind of child you have identified as a good fit for your family. You can turn down as many children as you want until the “Right” child is found for you. There are VERY many babies that come through the system. We were interested in a 2 or 3 year old. In the end we were offered a 4 year old who we then adopted at age 5.
A caution about fostering a baby:You may be required to visit the mother everyday to retain the bond and she may nurse. It can be really horrible to visit everyday.
If the reason for fostering is violence towards the child there is no visit required. If the child was born with a drug addiction the baby must detox before you can foster it. Babies can be a difficult choice when fostering. It can be very time consuming and exausting. I personally would only recommend it if there is one parent at home full time OR you have a day care that is very cooperative with visits, etc.
We scoped out MANY different agencies before choosing Lutheran. There are many agencies that are Christian based that are very intollerant of relationships that don’t include “a man and a woman”. Lutheran on the other-hand is the most accepting, inclusive, loving agency we came across. In our class there were two same sex couples, two people who were single, one couple who was mixed race and us (white heterosexual middle class couple)! There is no judgement or alienation towards anyone.
Catholic Community Services is very rigid in who they will take and suggest you raise your children in the Catholic faith.
The State doesn’t care about your religion, ethnic background or sexual orientation.
The benefit of going through a private agency is that you have a support system. Lutheran has “support group” once a month. You will be assigned a Lutheran social worker in addition to the DSFS (dept. of social and family services)worker. You have an advocate with Lutheran where you will not have one going directly through the state.
One piece of advice I have is this: You have to remember that as a foster parent you are actually an “employee of the state”. You do not have many rights as a foster parent. You can’t go out of state without permission from the bio parent which may take a court order. I think this has changed but a few years ago you can’t cut the child’s hair without permission. You can not go out of the country at all even with the parent’s permission, so no Victoria or Vancouver. The other thing is that you will be mandated to give the child “visits” with their parents. Which may mean, if there are two parents involved, two visits (any time of day) with them per week. We had to drive to Monroe every Friday at rush hour (for about 2 years) to visit with mom because she could not afford to drive to us or meet us half way. You don’t have a choice in this matter. I don’t know if the funding has been restored to get transportation included in your agreement. It was cut several years ago and we were required to do the transport after that. You do not get any say in where and when you do visits. For instance, it was my birthday, my parents were in town from out of state and it was FRIDAY and I wanted to switch the visit to Monday. NO way. WE were the ones who had to be consistent so they could build a case against the mother should she flake out and not show up at the agreed upon time and day. She always showed up. BUT there are many others who do not and if you do everything the social workers say and the parents don’t then there is a case to terminate their rights as parents.
As for costs…Lutheran charges 4% of your annual income when your adoption is COMPLETE, which for us was 4 years after our initial placement. It costs about $800 for legal services. You do need a lawyer to file the adoption. Any agency will have a list of them for you.
You will receive a stipend as a foster parent and the amount is based on the amount of time you are parenting above and beyond “normal” parenting. For instance: if you have a child who has a disability and is in a wheelchair and needs medical attention daily you would receive the highest amount, which the last time I knew, it was about $1200 per month. For “normal” parenting you get about $10 per day! $320ish per month. Not really enough to dress, feed, and take care of a child. We weren’t in it for the money!!!
Your child will get medical coupons to cover doctor, dentist, medicine, etc. This continues sometimes after they are adopted as well. You get a $10,000 tax deduction when you adopt. You may get a clothing voucher for about $200 to a place of your choice like Target or Fred Meyer for clothes and toiletries. Remember that the children are abrubtly taken from their home without any belongings. If there were drugs in the child’s home you probably don’t want their clothes because they may carry residue into your home which may be toxic. You may get a car seat voucher as well. BUT you must have a car seat before you pick them up.
The children are eligible for Treehouse visits. Treehouse is an organization that supports foster children with free used and new clothing, school supplies, toiletries, toys, books, etc.
If the child is under the age of 5 then they are eligible for WIC. With WIC you get basically food stamps for milk, eggs, cereal and I can’t remember what else. The social workers encourage you to do this because its another state agency that is monitoring your child so they can collect data on the child’s progress.
I don’t know what else to tell you. There is a lot more to it. You can email me privately at sewsewfast@aol.com to discuss it further and I can send you my phone number and we can talk on the phone. I am a huge foster parent advocate and it is very much worth the effort to become one.
Sincerely, Jack