Safety in West Seattle High School

[JoB]

caduceus…

i don’t know why your classmate had an epiphany .. but in my experience, violence seldom solves anything…

being a bigger meaner bully… even if you consider the cause righteous ..doesn’t solve much.

i had this discussion in the late 60s with young radicals.. and it earned me an FBI file… i don’t think it will cost me quite so much this time.. but the basic message hasn’t changed much.

you can’t beat sense into people.. you can only beat them into compliance

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[dgirl]

Thanks for the many replies and points of view. I appreciate this forum more than I can say. I do want to say how surprised I am at the “fists to the bully” reactions. I am not naive, ignorant or unrealistic. I am a mature adult who has made my way in the world and does not, under any circumstances, suggest that violence is the answer. I am hopeful that the teachers and administration of WS HS will begin to know that their role is to protect the students and make high school a safe and fun place to be. Giving the bullies chance after chance is wrong. Zero tolerance is right. Sure…there are grays…but zero is zero!

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[mom2soren]

wow, eye-opening thread.

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[Traci]

Thank you for this thread WSForumers, parents, and teachers. If only the rest of the world would open their eyes to these such obvious truths.

I’m a substitute teacher in Kent and Seattle. One of the most memorable experiences is when a boy told me that he is planning to be a police officer…That the really helped his family deal with his Dad. And some girl in the back said “So you want to be a F’ing snitch” and started RAILING him about it. I felt powerless.

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[Lex]

I sent my children to private school due to the horror stories I heard about WSH. I heard it from students, parents, teachers and SPD. But as with any school its what you as a parent put into your childs education. if you are supportive of the school and have open and honest discussions with your child you should be fine.

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[FullTilt]

Teacher half here. Whoa……so much to say. First of all, I agree that people should stand up for themselves, but CHILDREN WHO SOLVE PROBLEMS WITH VIOLENCE BECOME ADULTS WHO SOLVE PROBLEMS WITH VIOLENCE.

Yes, there are humans out there (me) who sometimes beat the pulp out of the neighbor kid, but no longer use that method. But thinking that kids and adults are two different worlds is dangerously oblivious to how the human psyche learns.

Many students report that they feel most unsafe when traveling to and from school. As responsible members of the community, we have an obligation to speak up when we see bullying on the street or bus or park. I understand that often people don’t feel comfortable saying something, but anyone can call 911-do it from behind the curtain when you see something out your window, or when you drive by, or on the bus. I cannot believe how many stories of violence I have heard that took place on buses full of people with cell phones that did nothing. Send a text. You can be discreet. You can tell the cops you want to be anonymous. If you live near a school and are around when kids are coming and going, keep your eyes open.

Next. Yes, kids who bully have low self esteem and are looking for some way to be powerful and in control. Now please take a moment to think about how a kid got this way. Many of these kids hate school and authority because it has always been a frustrating and humiliating place for them. This doesn’t excuse their behavior or mean we should let it slide, but understanding and changing the cause can help. I know plenty of students whose poor behavior was the only thing in life they had control over, and getting kicked out of class meant they wouldn’t be embarrassed by what they didn’t know. Once they were given support to make gains in academics and to learn to express themselves in a healthy manner, the negative behavior starts to go away. Try suggesting that to the school, and remember, when “bad” kids get kicked out of school, they don’t vaporize. They are still part of our community.

And for crying out loud folks, please teach your kids that when they film a fight on their cell phone and post it on You Tube, they are participating in the bullying and the video is way easier for authorities to find then they think. (same thing with myspace pages! WORLD WIDE web, kids!)

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[Anonymous]

We should all teach our kids to defend themselves and that will teach them to not fear big things that make noise and to confront such things head on.

Bullying doesn’t end once you’re an adult, it just gets weirder and more perverse so you might as well learn how to handle yourself when you’re younger so you don’t grow up feeling like you’re in a protective membrane and have no idea how to handle situations tactically.

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[Caduceus]

Wow! Old thread. :]

I think the worst thing about bullying are the people that pretend it doesn’t happen, even when it’s literally right in front of them. On the Metro for example.

I just wish more people were as concerned with the safety of others, as they are for their own.

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[celeste17]

When I was in junior high at Madison I was walking home one day and two kids that were in my class came out of the house and threw eggs at me. When I got home my dad was home and he called the school. They said that because it happened off school grounds there was nothing they could do about it. I was often berated and called names when I was in school and there was nothing that could be done about it because it was just name calling. To this day every time I go by that house I want to pull the car over and go to the people that live there and demand an apology from that kid. I hope one day I run into him and can say you were a bully when we were kids and I want an apology. Although who is to say he still isn’t a bully. Wonder what he would do if his kid came home with eggs all over him/her.

I say stop the violence before it even begins. Talk to your kids from birth that its not okay to ever talk mean or to hit anyone ever.

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[Anonymous]

So what do they do when they’re confronted by another person, always turn the other cheek?

I hate to say it, but you’re never going to get an apology from someone that doesn’t even remember the incident because it was probably inconsequential to them then and even more so now. At some point the egg thrower probably got a taste of his / her own medicine, as there’s always someone bigger and badder out there willing and able to knock you down a peg.

Self defense is the only real answer. A respectful and tactical approach to conflict resolution that doesn’t include you giving up everything and the offending party walking away with the championship bully belt.

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[Author]

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