Family Values

[JoB]

I am starting this thread which i hope will be a lively cross party discussion in the political arena because some terms have been used by political factions and thus have new meanings.

I think this trend is one reason why we sometimes have so much difficulty speaking across party lines.

So let’s start with Family Values.. what does that term really mean to you?

To me.. it means putting your family first… caring for the health and well being of the members of your family and putting them higher on your priority list than social obligations or political obligations.

Politically, it means voting for policies that will keep your family safe and well cared for … and extending that same care for your family to every other citizen with a family.

To me.. that’s family values.

Anyone else care to wade in?

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[JanS]

and I might add…for me those “family values” come from diverse families. Whether it’s a one parent (either male or female) family, or two parents (male/female, male/male, female/female). We live in a different world today than 40 years ago. There are many different blended families out here in the real world.

So…what JoB said…and more. I, too, feel that it should extend to friends and community.

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[JoB]

bump.. looking for other opinions..

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[Zenguy]

Family is the people you choose to share your life with, be they friends, partners or children (natural, adopted or otherwise) and all should be respected and supported.

I do find it concerning that some people have no problem showing someone getting killed but two men or two women showing affection to each other is unacceptable.

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[JoB]

Zenguy and JanS…

It didn’t occur to me to define family. But of course, that definition has to precede that of family values.

My own family contains many who aren’t related to me by blood and haven’t married into my family…

I think it is wonderful that so many have figured out we aren’t just stuck with the family we were born into.. we can choose family members…and add them to our homes and our hearts.

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[Lena]

Family values

Loving and caring for those in your family- children, partners, animals, other relatives, friends

Helping support the growth and dreams of those around us. Providing an environment where this can happen

Teaching by the example of how we live our own lives

Loving and caring for those less fortunate or powerless-people and animals

Listening to those around us and accepting people for who they truly are

Letting our loved ones make their own decisions without fear of harm

Supporting nonviolence and equality for people of all ages, races, religions, sexual orientation and nationalities.

Caring for the earth and helping to make it a better place by the time we leave this plane of existance

Speaking the truth

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[JoB]

you just made my evening by saying it all far better than i could..

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[angelescrest]

That was beautiful.

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[Anonymous]

“Listening to those around us and accepting people for who they truly are”

That’s my favorite. It’s too bad that not very many people are able to actually practice this one.

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[Zenguy]

NR, what do you have to add to this thread? I am truly curious.

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[Anonymous]

Um, that that line is my favorite.

Is that not allowed?

What do you have to add to this thread?

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[JanS]

NR…I think it would be wonderful if you had stopped at what your favorite line was/is. The rest was said to be snarky…and that’s just my opinion…so…maybe you want to start over again? try to remain neutral :)

here you go..”Listening to those around us and accepting people for who they truly are”…and you add how that is your favorite line..easy enuff? And tell us why, maybe? And perhaps even tell us what family values mean to you, since that’s the topic. I know you have family..I know you love it..so tell us about it :)

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[Zenguy]

I added to the thread already and JanS added. I was interested in what your ideas around family are?

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[JanS]

Adear friend andold “officemate” is part of the LGBT community, and it always impresses me that she always called her friends in the LGBT community “family” I know exactly what she meant. And my take was that it was a place where she knew that there was love and encouragement and support without judgement…what a wonderful place to be.

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[Zenguy]

I think that is because so many of us (not me fortunately) have been disowned by our families and had to do something. I have some wonderful friends that put on an orphan Thanksgiving every year.

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[JanS]

now that’s a wonderful idea…an orphan Thanksgiving. I understand that concept. My “family” family here in the Seattle area is my daughter. I married into Seattle, and have divorced Seattle (well, the man from Seattle, anyway), so my other immediate family is on the east coast. But..I have been part of some great Thanksgiving’s here with friends…and truly appreciate being “adopted”

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[Anonymous]

Edited. Too pointless.

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[Caduceus]

I don’t think NR’s post was snarky at all.

What she said is entirely true.

Although after reading the debate and going back I was enable to see some possibility of trying to take a jab at someone but I HIGHLY doubt that that was the case.

I think a family can be extended to anyone you spend a considerable amount of time with, including even a internet forum.

And we know NR gets heated in political debates but to assume she’s carrying over a grudge into a neutral thread is a little inappropriate, imo.

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[charlabob]

I’ve looked at family from both sides now, and well, the best of all is a blended family of choice and of origin. (What the HELL is she talking about???)

I became an orphan when I was 26 — only child, both ‘rents dead. Divorced at 28 and that family divorced me at the same time. From then on, I created and was part of families of choice — people who felt close to and cared about each other. We celebrated holidays, mourned tragedies and in general took care of each other. That’s family.

We didn’t accept everything each other did — but we accepted each other, even when we screwed up — that would be the “hate the sin, love the sinner” deal. Within very broad bounds, we agreed about politics and music (liking Abba and Neil Diamond was acceptable — being a Reagan Democrat wasn’t).

Then I remarried and became part of a large cranky loving disfunctional family — all the mandatory drama, feuds, gossip, and affection most people grow up with came to me late in life. I felt like an anthropologist or zoologist, studying an exotic species. Suddenly, when I wasn’t looking, I was one of them. They surrounded me (with love and snark and demands that I choose sides..the usual). The only difference was a few people were suspected (by me) of being R’s with bad taste in music. But they were family, dammit. For a few years, we celebrated holidays, triumphs, etc with them.

The bob half wasn’t used to getting to choose his family–I introduced him to that concept. A few key member of *my* extended family had drifted to Seattle, so when we came here that family started up again, with Bob as the new, though a bit old, kid.

Now our family is big, noisy, loving, snarky, dramatic and comprised of blood and water? “relatives”. We’ve blended the choice and the origin.

Family is what and who you make it. Who you *feel* like giving to and who you *can* take from or ask *for* something. They’re people who share and tolerate your outlook on the world. There could be people reading this now who are on their way to being part of the family and don’t even know it :-)

Now that I think of it, that’s probably also my definition of love.

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[charlabob]

Much to my amazement, I agree that NR wasn’t necessarily out of bounds. She didn’t say, “Too bad the people here don’t live up to that.” (I reread her post, after Cad’s defense.) I think we all read that into what she said, not without reason. But she didn’t say it and what she said can’t be dismissed.

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[JoB]

Although i have welcomed the discussion of what family is…

i am more interested in what people think family values are. they aren’t just some political byline.. they actually mean something to most of us. The great uniter is that we all have families…

so.. New Resident….beyond “Listening to those around us and accepting people for who they truly are” .. which by the way i think is necessary to building any sense of family… what does the term family values mean to you personally?

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[charlabob]

Well, I tried to avoid this answer, but since you insist :-) I believe family values, as discussed in the United States today, are an artificial construct invented by the right to marginalize people they don’t like. The things you mentioned originally are valid and good (and obvious?) The reason we digressed into definitions of family is because that’s where the marginalization occurs.

Therefore, I’m very comfortable talking about family, very comfortable talking with that family and close friends about values, but completely unwilling to talk about “Family Values” because the term is simply a right-wing battering ram and not one worth reclaiming.

You had to go and ask :-)

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[RainyDay1235]

Right on charlabob!

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[Zenguy]

And aren’t family values different for everyone? Just like everyone’s families are diffent (mine more than others).

One central thing for me is unconditional love!

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[JoB]

charlabob…

I agree that the term family values has been used by the right wing as an artificial construct…

but like most words, i believe it has multiple meanings for individuals.

We are going to be bombarded by this term for the next few months whether we like it or not. We can choose to let the right define it for us.. and let them determine our conversation… or we can define it for ourselves and create conversation.

I love words and phrases and the stories people tell with them… and i am tired of this make believe notion that democrats are without family values…

It’s a great tactic for politically dehumanizing us… but only if we allow the dehumanization to stand.

When Republicans can claim political bias at the valid concern raised by some about the priorities of our new Republican vice presidential candidate where the well being of her teenage pregnant daughter is concerned…

while at the same time lauding their candidate’s family values because her teenage daughter is marrying the teenage father of her child… a young man whose page on facebook proclaimed he didn’t want kids, didn’t want to get married and was just out to have fun before it was taken down…

the term has clearly been perverted. Unless we redefine the term, it has no real meaning.

family values are not something you claim, they are something you live. family values are something that all of us share.. republicans and democrats alike.

i am not interested in the political definition of family values.. i am interested in the personal definition and how that definition affects the way we view life.

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