why do we do this?

[JoB]

At the caucus today, i was struck by the dismissive way some people talk to one another… as though the other person was really stupid for having an opinion.

At our caucus today, one older gentleman tried to tell a young woman that the youth vote would go for Obama… in spite of the fact that she was clearly and articulately a Hillary supporter.

Another young woman told this same young person who only found out about the caucus at the last minute that the problem was not that people didn’t know about it.. that they didn’t care.. weren’t responsible…. in spite of the fact that this clearly articulate, active, concerned and responsible young person had just said that she thought we needed to do more to get the word out to young people because she almost didn’t hear about it.

How have we become a people who feel we can put someone else down for their opinions?

How have we become a people who feel attacked by anyone holding a differing opinion?

How have we become a people who think it is ok to call another person names just because their opinion or appearance differs from your own?

I see that this is increasingly so. We have seen it here on this blog. And i understand that passion can get out of hand.

But this dismissive… you don’t count… attitude that some people think they can lay on others really bothers me.

And what bothers me most… is that it isn’t just the hate mongers behaving this way. In both cases, these were decent caring people who were simply didn’t realize they were incredibly rude.

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[add]

It all started with Morton Downey Jr.

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[Erik]

I think when someone puts another down for their position it’s because they don’t feel stable in their own position (this is also a metaphor for how they physically stand). They are thus using the other person as a form of support to hold themselves up on their precarious house o’ cards. The majority of relationships are formed based upon the parties insecurities, they join to support each other in their unstableness. If one of the persons in the relationship decides to stand up on their own or leave the other party will do what they need to bring them back to dependency or else they’ll fall.

Thus, it’s easier to pound on someone else’s position than to just stand in your own if you can’t find your own support within.

If you truly stood for what you believed you wouldn’t have a need to go outside yourself for confirmation. And conversely, if you’ve found enough internal support for your position any outside attack shouldn’t bother you. What usually bothers us the most in others are the same things we could be accused of doing…projection? This is all from my own extensive and painful work with myself.

In the end we have weird ways of showing love…lol

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[JoB]

Erik.. very well stated.

but there are so many other ways to bring people back.. other than trying to make them weaker and dependent.

the easiest way to get someone else to listen to you is to listen to them respectfully and fully. Once they feel heard, they are willing to hear you.

That’s what makes for good discussion.

And yes, it took plenty of personal work for me to understand that too.

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