Home › Forums › Open Discussion › What to do about man sleeping in car…
- This topic is empty.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 19, 2013 at 1:38 am #608738
svenaMemberThere’s been a man sleeping in his car for a little over a month now on my block. He moves his car every day, but it’s still on the street. A few of my neighbors have voiced concerns, and one has even asked him to move a couple times, but after a day or so he comes back. Apparently his girlfriend lives on the next block over and they have a child, but he’s not allowed in that house for whatever reason. It makes a lot of people uncomfortable having to get up for work in the morning and seeing him sleeping there.
While I am sympathetic to someone who seems to have fallen on hard times, I also don’t like having my family or my neighbors feeling uncomfortable when we walk our dogs or leave for work in the morning — especially when it’s been over a month and there doesn’t seem to be any changing in sight. I don’t think it’s against the law, so calling the police seems unreasonable, but does anyone have any other ideas for how to deal with the situation? He refuses to park in front of the girlfriend’s house (I’m guessing because the parents either have a restraining order or generally won’t let him). The car also has a severely damaged windshield and should probably not be operated due to not being able to see out of it. It just puts a damper on an otherwise great neighborhood.
August 19, 2013 at 2:14 am #796038
inactiveMemberHi Svena,
I think it is absolutely OK to call SPD and tell them what you have said here. Give SPD the opportunity to assist this guy out by pointing him to services/agencies, if needed, or find out what his story is. Our officers are trained in social work interventions as well as catching the bad guys.
It is good that you care about those around you and have the sense to get advice. The SPD will be the best advisors.
August 19, 2013 at 4:00 am #796039
thansenMemberIt would be so much worse if this turned to something violent against the girlfriend and you don’t want to “wish you had done something.”
Call SPD, it’s what they’re there for. If she is working on a case against
him, this could more for her to use.
Or if he does just need help, SPD can give him names of places to check out.
August 19, 2013 at 12:43 pm #796040
CandrewB1ParticipantIs this by the Morgan Junction?
August 19, 2013 at 3:01 pm #796041
svenaMemberThanks for your advice.
@thansen — I should have been more clear in my initial post; I believe the man and the girlfriend get along fine, but the issue he has is with her parents (with whom she lives). She will stop by to see him with the child fairly regularly.
@CandrewB1 — no, it’s in Genesee
August 19, 2013 at 3:08 pm #796042
BreezyParticipantsvena, you stated you didn’t know if it was legal. As long as he’s moving the car every 72 hours and it’s not a parking restricted street, apparently it is legal to sleep in your car. However, I’m in the camp if it makes you uncomfortable to come and go from your own home, call. Who knows, the officer(s) may be able to give the young man some resources he’s unaware of that may help him in this situation.
“There’s nothing that prohibits you from sleeping in your car as long as your move it every 72 hours,” police spokeswoman Renee Witt said, referring to public streets without parking restrictions.
August 19, 2013 at 4:20 pm #796043
sacatoshParticipantIf there’s a restraining order involved, the police need to know about it. She may or may not be coming by willingly – it may be that he’s threatening. At the very least they may be able to build a stalking case. While you never know and we all like to assume good intentions, the truth is you just never know. This guy might be extremely dangerous to the girl. Restraining orders aren’t granted for fun; there’s a fairly high burden of proof involved. I’d call the police or pop by the Delridge location to discuss.
August 19, 2013 at 4:58 pm #796044
WorldCitizenParticipantWe had this happening for a while out in front of our house. I approached the gentleman one morning and shook his hand, told him my name and asked his. I asked if he planned on staying long.
We ended up having a frank and civil conversation about financial hardship, it’s effects, and NIMBY-ism. It was very calm and refreshing. I told him I can understand why some people don’t want others living on the street in front of their house. I informed him there’s a reason we don’t live downtown and have a home with some separation as privacy was a big concern of ours. I also told him our neighbors feel the same way and even if most people aren’t willing to speak to him directly, it’s the prevailing sentiment.
I told him I’d be upset to see the police called on him due to others (including my) discomfort with the situation and it would be best if he found a more suitable spot for the time being. He shook my hand and thanked me and got back in his car and went to sleep.
A few hours later, he was gone and hasn’t come back since. That was three months ago.
I don’t have a good answer for you about what your situation calls for, but personally I find speaking with people about situations like this can really help a situation resolve itself quickly. Relying on neighbors for your concerns is only so good at resolving a situation you feel affects you personally. After speaking with him yourself you can properly asses the situation, and then you will know if the police need to be reached.
August 19, 2013 at 5:00 pm #796045
elikapekaParticipantI think calling the police is a reasonable thing to do. We had a guy doing the same on our block a few years ago. It didn’t bother me having him here, but some other neighbors felt differently ( I think mostly because they are the parking hogs of the block, and this guy had a little car and a little RV – the day after he parked in front of their house is when the cops showed up.) They called the police, the police came out and talked to him, and next thing I knew he was gone and never came back.
August 19, 2013 at 5:28 pm #796046
singularnameParticipantEverything that World Citizen said.
August 19, 2013 at 8:40 pm #796047
blblParticipantIt’s not your street, your car, or even your block. It’s really none of your business if a man is trying to remain close with his girlfriend and child despite not being able to live with them. Maybe you could bring him some food or toiletries instead of calling the cops. He’s not breaking any laws and the police are not social workers – it’s totally inappropriate to waste their time with this. Or maybe you should move to a nice gated community where it’s easier for grandparents to keep their daughters’ boyfriends away – even from their own children. “Stalking?” “Extremely dangerous?” Sheeze. I guess poor does look like that.
August 19, 2013 at 10:21 pm #796048
svenaMember@blbl — that’s a silly thing to say. It’s most certainly “my” block in that I own a house on that block. I am quite confident saying I have much more of an interest in what goes on on my block than he does (or anyone else who doesn’t live on the block), and one of my interests is not seeing strange men sleeping in their car on a nightly basis in front of my home. While he may not technically be on my property, walking out my front door and seeing him reclined with his mouth open in the front seat of his car while parked adjacent to my property is pretty close. It’s not like there are walls that separate my home from the rest of the neighborhood. The sidewalk that runs between the parking strip that I maintain and my house entangle my home with my neighbors and form the block in which I live. It’s more complicated than just saying, “he’s on a public street so there’s no problem.”
While I agree that “stalking” and “extremely dangerous” are probably over the top, and I suppose I do admire this man’s commitment to being involved with his child, his familial drama is spilling over into my little slice of heaven and it’s quite frankly not my problem. Yes, I’m being a total NIMBY here: I don’t want him living in his car while parked in front of my house. I don’t like having to say to my guests, “oh, don’t mind him; he just lives in his car.” I’m sure the couple selling their home aren’t very excited to explain to prospective buyers, “well, there’s a homeless guy who sleeps on the street every night, but he’s at least quiet.”
I’m sure I come off as an entitled, privileged person who doesn’t want his perfect privileged little world marred by a slight bit of poverty, and in a way that is true, but I pay my taxes and expect a reasonable social safety net to be taking care of situations like this, and that system has failed. If this were one or two nights, that’d be one thing, but this man has essentially become a permanent (if slightly mobile) resident, and makes others uncomfortable with his presence. Why would I spend my money on food and toiletries to encourage him to stay there longer? I want him gone, simple as that. Call me cold-hearted.
August 19, 2013 at 10:37 pm #796049
blblParticipantsvena, sounds like you’ve answered your own questions. Just hoping you don’t confuse your “interest” with any “rights” to kick someone off a public street. And it sounds like you understand that you have absolutely no more right to the street in front of your house than he does. So sorry someone’s hard luck has marred your perfect privileged little world. I won’t call you cold hearted; instead, I’ll hope that if you ever need a hand you’ll encounter people more understanding than yourself.
August 20, 2013 at 2:53 am #796050
EdSaneParticipantAugust 20, 2013 at 5:56 pm #796051
WorldCitizenParticipantAugust 20, 2013 at 6:09 pm #796052
kgdlgParticipantIf he were really there to be “closer” to his family, why not sleep in front of their house? I am sorry, but as a woman, and one that has had to deal with a stalker situation in the past, this should be checked out as a possible DV situation by the cops. Yes, he may be down on his luck, but if she has a restraining order, this could be menacing behavior in violation of it.
August 20, 2013 at 6:45 pm #796053
Talaki34ParticipantOP’s quote:
“@thansen — I should have been more clear in my initial post; I believe the man and the girlfriend get along fine, but the issue he has is with her parents (with whom she lives). She will stop by to see him with the child fairly regularly.”
August 20, 2013 at 7:08 pm #796054
B-squaredParticipantIf he truly is no danger to anyone and the NIMBY issue is the only actual complaint, perhaps he should be thought of as a sentry. His presence alone may keep miscreants away from the general area.
August 20, 2013 at 7:29 pm #796055
blblParticipantExactly, B-squared. Someone did this in our neighborhood several years back. Lost her job, couldn’t pay rent in the home she was renting on our block, had a small rv and lived on the street for several months. She picked up trash, kept hooligan kids away, and I’m sure made car prowls and thefts non-existant. In a few months she was able to pick herself up and she moved into a new place in another neighborhood.
August 20, 2013 at 9:20 pm #796056
Ms. SparklesParticipantThe woman in the RV presumably had a bathroom in the RV….where is this man going to the bathroom?
Call the police.
August 20, 2013 at 9:28 pm #796057
anonymeParticipantThe OP has a right to be concerned. If the parents won’t allow the guy near the house, there may be a very good reason. Women may feel more threatened by this activity, and rightfully so. It may well be a bad economy that has this guy living in his car, but it could easily be something more sinister. It wouldn’t hurt for the cops to have a chat with him and get more information. Never, EVER let someone else belittle or shame you into ignoring a gut feeling about your own safety.
August 20, 2013 at 9:51 pm #796058
blblParticipantNo one EVER said anything about fearing for their safety, in fact the OP said the exact opposite. All the facts show that this is a guy who can’t afford a place to live, wants to be near his girlfriend and child, and is living on the street to do so. BREAKING NO LAW. In the OP’s own words, this is about being a NIMBY, he simply doesn’t like seeing him or having “his perfect privileged little world marred by a slight bit of poverty”. OP’s words, not mine. Stop fearmongering just to justify your prejudices.
August 20, 2013 at 10:02 pm #796059
Ms. SparklesParticipantIf he’s urinating and / or deficating in public, or traspassing on private property to do so, then he IS actually breaking the law.
August 20, 2013 at 10:08 pm #796060
blblParticipantWow. just wow. Who said anything about him peeing or pooping in public? You’re completely making stuff up. This is West Seattle, not the outback, you don’t think there are public restrooms around? Libraries, grocery stores, parks (parks with showers!), fast food restaurants. Maybe he has a gym membership and showers there more often than you shower. (And if you don’t think homeless people have gym memberships, you’re crazy).
August 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm #796061
Ms. SparklesParticipantIf he has a gym membership, why doesn’t he park there? Public park restrooms close at 9:00 pm.
My point was to illustrate the many issues of living in your car on a public street and why the neighbors have a right to be concerned.
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.