LGBT West Seattle

[Shibaguyz]

NR – what are you talking about?? Seriously!! Where did I say you personally could not come to this?? HOLY COW!! Good job… you’ve jacked this post right out of the ground.

If you want to come, come. I’ve said that all along. Friends are welcome. You just don’t get it. NONE of the clarifying statements about LGBT had ANYTHING to do with you personally. It was about making sure people understood what LGBT was and who was getting together. Again: NONE of it was about you.

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[Anonymous]

Shibaguyz – Of course I’m welcome now!!!!!

Why didn’t you answer me directly, back when I straight out asked you?

Of course, I would never come to your get-together now. And, contrary to what you believe, and had you read my post, I did, initially, really want to come.

Only after you would not directly answer me did I realize you were being exclusive and would rather I not be there.

Say anything you want to now. It’s obvious that others saw what I saw.

I have absolutely no bad feelings for you or anyone in the LGBT community, I just think that, the way you handled this situation, is exactly the discrimination you want to stop from happening to you.

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[Shibaguyz]

NR – I said “and friends” over and over again. It didn’t even occur to me that you needed a hand-written personal invitation from me to come. Say what you want. Don’t tell me how to handle a situation. I got it that you wanted to come. I also got it that a lot of people who were posting didn’t understand LGBT & Friends and needed clarification. That was why I was choosing my words as precisely as possible without being exclusive. You are the one who took it personally. If you had stated in an intelligent way that you were hurt and felt left you, I’m sure someone, even myself or my partner, would have said you were welcome. I just never thought you were feeling so hurt.

All you are trying to do is make this thread about something other than a group of LGBT people getting together to have coffee. I said “and friends” continuously. I don’t know what your problem is with us getting together. I did read your posts. I answered you in general. Again, it never crossed my mind that you needed me to say “NR YOU PERSONALLY are welcome to come.” I thought any reasonable person would have taken the “and friends” as an open invitation. Period.

That’s as far as I go with you. I can’t believe you made this about you and your hurt feelings because I wouldn’t say “NR please come.”

You know NOTHING of the discrimination I have faced or the discrimination the LGBT community faces every day and how dare you accuse me of that same discrimination. You do not know what you are talking about and I would advise you to think wisely about making such accusations to me from your anonymous seat on an internet forum. Discrimination is illegal in the state of Washington and making such an accusation is something I would advise against.

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[dunderp]

I am to grown, to old and to tired not to respond to what I have been reading in this thread. LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender. Suggesting a gathering for LGBT is just what it is suggesting. A gathering for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender people. I am secure in myself and in the self of others to be able to state here and now that I would like only LGBT people to attend this first gathering. Their are many reasons why I state this. The most important reson being, we cannot assume when using the phrase “a safe place” everyone understands what that pertains to. To me, it means a safe place for a LGBT person who is not out to anyone and does not feel like comming to anyone. NR it only took you a few posts to cause all this turmoil. I say this because I don’t think you are as dense with your “confusion” as you state in your post. I am a lesbian. I live and work in a straight world. Since moving to Seattle my world has become more straight. I have been attempting to find “my people”, since I moved here. My people are like me, had simarlar and still have simalar experiences that I have that Hetro’s would never even know about. I would like to get together with “my people” for this first gathering. I would then like to invite you another time. If anyone is offended by what I have said, so be it. This is how I feel and if you can’t understand, then maybe one day we can gather to talk it over. No responses are necessary. Take care and God bless you all. Pamela

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[Anonymous]

Wow. Now we are threatening legal action? (For something I never did, by the way)

For some reason, you are not understanding what I am trying to say. There is, literally, no other way I can try and explain.

It’s unfortunate, Shibaguyz, because we actually have a lot in common (more than you realize) and probably would have become great friends.

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[soclwrkrinmotn]

I think I have defined sexual prejudice and heterosexism…NR, I suggest you read it. Maybe you will get it. You don’t know what it is like to be queer or a trans person no more than Shibaguyz knows what it is like to be female in the world.

We can listen and learn from each other, but sometimes a community that faces prejudice on a daily basis also needs a safe space where we get together–in a safe space, with members of the community. Sometimes it isn’t about the allies, it is about us. Sometimes we don’t feel like teaching.

Respect that, okay?

In short, NR, it’s not about you.

Thanks.

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[Anonymous]

Sorry that you think I am that self-indulgent. I believe that we have actually met in person, so I’m surprised that you would think that of me.

I never was the one who made this “about me”.

If you’ve read any of my posts, you would know that I do respect you and all of the LGBT community. Please stop trying “to make this” about any kind oflack of sensitivity of the LGBT community.

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[Kayleigh]

Good gawd, will this topic ever die?

I forgot how ridiculous things get here sometimes. My bad.

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[Trisket]

Well said soclwrkrinmotn and dunderp!

Shibaguyz- Thanks for trying to start something good for the West Seattle LGBT community. Please do not let NewResident’s words discourage you.

And sorry NewResident, you did make this all about you. You recall your first post (#31), “I think it would be great if we did the get together ALL together…. what a great way to meet everybody!!!!”.

And when you didn’t get your way you were like a petulant child in your baiting posts to Shibaguyz. You continued to passive-aggressively harass Shibaguyz into responding in some way to “prove” a point, YOUR point; which even now escapes me.

Perhaps you just wanted to be mean…

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[Shibaguyz]

okay… one more recap:

See you all next Sunday afternoon at C&P. Please no more confusion or fighting about this. It was just supposed to be a fun afternoon of coffee with our LGBT community. That’s all we were hoping for and we’re hoping some people will show up despite all of this craziness on here.

If you have a bone to pick with us personally, then just contact us through our information by clicking on our name “Shibaguyz.” We’d rather you do that than make this any more disruptive on here. – Thanks

Hope to see our LGBT community on Sunday afternoon.

peace…

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[Jerald]

I hope you have a good turnout and have a great time. I think it’s a wonderful idea.

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[LARRYANDGREG]

Wow!! New Resident, you are so welcome to join us sometime when we have our wine parties in our front yard. Every decent human being and their pets are welcome! The West Seattle we know knows no prejudice. I am not sure where these other folks live but I know that they are not in our neighborhood…thank God. We don;t believe in being exclusive. We just like people and nice people like us. We don’t judge based on sexual whatevers….

Obviously this exclusive LGBT group has their issues and I don’t think that you (New Resident) or myself and my partner would fit in. We should all wish them a wonderful time. Hope to see you in the neighborhood. We live near PCC. Come find us!

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[Anonymous]

LARRYANDGREG – That sounds wonderful!!! I’m always up for wine and meeting new people!

Thank you for your kind words and actually seeing through everything that has been said about me to realize my true intentions, to meet new friends.

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[angelr]

Well what happened on Sunday? My partner and I went by the C&P around 3:20 and there was nobody around except for some musicians. So we left, I guess all this fighting got people turned off!!

We need to do this again and pleeease let us not fight!!

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[fernanda]

It appears the contretemps that played out in previous entries kept everyone from coming to the gathering. When my partner and I arrived at the C&P around 3:20, we were disappointed to see there was no one there. I still think this is an idea that is worth trying.

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[WSB]

There was a separate thread yesterday:

https://westseattleblog.com/blog/forum/topic.php?id=1128

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[JoB]

Gosh.. so many panties in a bunch :-0

months ago, i set up a meeting for “ladies of a certain age”..

now, i know we probably aren’t as cool as the LGBT crowd.. or way more cool.. WHATEVER…

but noone was offended that a few ladies with a bit of grey in their hair wanted to meet one another… some hubbies included…

and.. by the way.. i’d like to do it again. we never did make it to see the rat city roller girls ..

and yes.. younger people could come too;)

but unless you were there, the sixties just aren’t that entertaining to talk about… you kinda had to be there to get the jokes.

the gardeners among us met to talk about our plants… and noone was offended. maybe some of you just weren’t interested in digging in the dirt.. but we had a good enough time that they have met again…

non gardeners are welcome.. but if you aren’t into plants you are going to be really bored with us. we bring pictures and books and everything. and no.. one tomato does NOT look like another.

there are a group of us who are interested in arts/crafts/whatever who want to meet. No hurt feelings there either. you either like to get your hands messy creating something or you don’t…

if a pile of bits and pieces look like junk to you.. you probably aren’t going to have a lot of fun with that crowd.

i have been thinking about a gimp party.. that’s for those of us who have more trouble than most getting around… no wheelchairs required. you all would be welcome but i warn you we might be talking about things like bladder control:(

And i would like to meet with other people who have taken on challenging rescue dogs… but again.. you really have to live it to get it. these dogs aren’t just frisky.. and it can take years to make a real difference… You have to be committed to laugh about finding one of your favorite books chewed to bits… or….

i guess the point is that the LGBT community is just another special interest community here in West seattle.

if you don’t get who and what they are it might be as boring when they start talking about the issues that they face as it is when gimps start talking about access issues, pain relief and other not so palatable topics.

believe me.. if you don’t really get the joke.. it can get old really fast. And you generally don’t get the joke unless you have lived with it.. or love someone who has.

There is nothing wrong with getting together with people who are interested in the same things you are. After all, that’s why the Forum gatherings have worked so well.

Our common interest is the forum and the people who post there…

i am still trying to get that dunk tank together.. theHouse said he is game to take a turn in the hot seat:) I wonder who else would be fun t dunk.

sorry.. my body is not up to it:))))))

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[guidosmom]

I am new to this forum but my partner and I would love to do some kind of get together, potluck, happy hour, picnic, or anything. :)

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[Anonymous]

JoB – I had a hard time understanding your post.

I remember the get-together that was arranged for the “more mature” forum members (I actually remember it being referred to as a “play date” which I thought was cute). I remember there NEVER was a question if the “younger” folk were welcome, that was inferred right away.

Had I been able to make that get-together, I would have been there. I knew I was invited and would have been welcomed.

All of the examples you give above seem to point out that EVERYONE would be welcome to each, respective get-together(whether they would have a good time is less evident, in your opinion).

That was not the case in this situation, in my opinion. Whether I would have had a good time, that’s up to me to decide.

You write about how each get-together would have specific topics they would be discussing at their respective get-togethers.What would be talked about at the LGBT get-together that I would be completely oblivious to?

Especially since the majority of my closest friends are members of that community?

From all that has happened here, I think it comes down to the fact that there are different groups within the whole LGBT community. The group that I was looking to befriend is not the same group that arranged a get-together on this forum.

My mistake.

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[JoB]

NewResident…

i have the advantage of getting to know the shibaguyz through my shibas and gardening… and they couldn’t be more inclusive.

They invited friends as well as the LGBT community… if you have close friends who are part of that community.. you qualified as a friend.

Anyone with an understanding of the challenges of living in that community and/or willingness to learn or those who simply accept everyone as people qualify as friends.

Their only concern was that “bashers” or “tourists” would show up and make everyone uncomfortable… and that those who haven’t chosen to come out to the general public might not show up if they felt their privacy could be violated.

if you have friends in that community, you know that even well meaning questions about living arrangements and sexual preferences can make conversation pretty awkward with strangers.

I think it is wonderful that they are getting an opportunity to meet and socialize with one another. We all make friends faster with people who share our common interests.

BTW… Kids weren’t actually invited when i called for a playdate with the older gals… yet you assumed that if you behaved and had a good time with us you were welcome… and it was an accurate assumption.

I think the same assumption could have been made here.

This is part of that benefit of the doubt stuff… we assume good intentions…

And yes.. that applies to all sides of any misunderstanding… and i assume this was just another.. having had the pleasure of meeting both parties.

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[meg]

NR- seems you aren’t ever going to let go of your “i’m so offended-all my besties are queer-heterosexist-the whole world should be open to me” crap.

Really & truly….why do you even care? You pushed this issue as “confusion” when you clearly weren’t and it wasn’t confusing to anyone else. Seems you just wanted to make a point, be antagonistic, be a martyr, or are terribly entitiled.

Why you are you so desperate to feel personally invited to a LGBT meetup? Why are you unable to infer inclusion in this instance?

Just some stuff to think about……

I’m signing off on this topic.

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[Anonymous]

That’s very big of you meg, to ask me all these questions and then state that you aren’t going to talk about it anymore.

It’s like, what you say is the FINAL say and not everyone agrees with what you say, sorry to break it to you.

Your post is pretty unfriendly and seems a little angry. But that only proves to me what I already knew. This is not the group I was looking to meet up with. I already figured that out and stated as such.

It was made clear that there are several people in this community that are not into exclusive meet-ups and those are the people that I tend to gravitate towards. Happy people who like everyone.

Anyways, thanks for your “stuff to think about”, but, obviously, it doesn’t apply any longer because, you’re right, I could care less what that group (I guess, your group), does or doesn’t do.

Hope you guys had a great time!

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[k]

i honestly cannot believe this post is still going strong. this issue should have NOT been an issue since the beginning. for anyone who felt prejudiced against for not being “included” in the get together, please watch yesterday’s footage of the two women who were married in california after a 55 year relationship not legally recognized. now that’s real prejudice.

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[soclwrkrinmotn]

I second that, k.

I can’t believe you won’t let this go, NR. I think k makes a very good point about structural and institutional discrimination, and thank you, JoB, for this point:

“and that those who haven’t chosen to come out to the general public might not show up if they felt their privacy could be violated.”

That was a point that Shibaguyz and I were discussing about the community. A lot of folks, especially the “T” aren’t out, and we wanted a safe space for them to come, too…at least that first time.

Can we PLEASE let this go?

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[meg]

ok, one more thing…then I will let it go. Promise! :)

NR- I just said I was signing off….you can feel free to post any responses you had to my questions :)

You say:

“It was made clear that there are several people in this community that are not into exclusive meet-ups and those are the people that I tend to gravitate towards. Happy people who like everyone.”

People who are in a “special interest” group wanting to meet others in that group is not exclusive. People that ‘are not into exclusive meet-ups’ are not always ‘happy people who like everyone’. You make connections where there aren’t any.

It was a pretty darn happy group…who all seemed to have full, happy, and diverse lives and friends.

Heck, we didn’t personally invite dogs or babies….but they showed up. And we all know of places where they are excluded. :)

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