Memorial on Wednesday for Barbara Cough Shea, 1930-2015: ‘Her generous spirit and love of fun live on’

Barbara Cough Shea, who lived for more than 35 years in West Seattle, will be remembered at a funeral Mass on Wednesday (April 15). Here’s the remembrance her family is sharing, telling the story of the many chapters of her life:

Barbara was born April 23, 1930, in Norridgewock, Maine, to Bernard Ezra “Bun” Cough and Helen Norton Cough. She grew up in Bar Harbor on Mount Desert Island, Maine, the second oldest and fast friend of her three siblings, Sonny, Janis and Jimmy. Her entrepreneurial and ever-scheming father had the family moving frequently around the town and pitching in on various family ventures. Her mother Helen was always there for her children.

Barbara graduated Bar Harbor High School and went on to attend college in Boston, where she reveled in the excitement and freedom of the city. Back in Bar Harbor during a break from school, she caught the attention of a college boy on vacation from studies in Miami. Barbara’s father was quite impressed to learn the “boy” was Bob Greive, a Washington state senator and law student. Barbara’s father arranged for her to transfer to school in Miami to encourage the romance. Bob and Barbara were married in Miami, just weeks before her 20th birthday. He was 29.

Following his law school graduation, Barbara and Bob settled in West Seattle, where they raised their six children. Barbara and the children were fixtures in the back pew of Holy Rosary Church during Sunday Mass while Bob ushered. She earned a reputation for her grace and elegance even as she wrangled squirming toddlers. She kept up appearances at daily Mass when slacks were taboo, hiding her pant legs by rolling them up above the hem of her long coat. She was a member of the Holy Rosary School Mothers Club for 18 years.

A tireless politician’s wife through her entire marriage, she played hostess, managed direct mail operations for many election campaigns, and moved the family every two years to Olympia for the legislative session.

Barbara loved being a mother. She was an intelligent, independent thinker who treated each child as an individual. Her children learned from her insatiable intellectual curiosity, generous spirit, moral strength and playful nature. And each inherited a version of Barbara’s distinctive guffaw.

Creative and industrious, Barbara developed and printed photos of her children in her own darkroom, sewed matching Easter dresses for her three girls, knit sweaters by machine for friends and family, and with her boys became an early and lifelong Apple computer loyalist. An accomplished quilter, she later combined her love of sewing and computers by embracing machine embroidery.

With her children grown, Barbara remarried, to Charles Law, a retired West Seattle attorney. They lived in Tacoma and enjoyed travel and many adventures in the short time they had together. Charlie died suddenly after just two years.

Barbara continued to attend St. Theresa’s Church in Tacoma where her friendship with David Shea blossomed. They married in 1994. They lived in Normandy Park briefly, then made their home in Des Moines. They traveled together in Europe, Canada and Mexico, across the U.S., and made the drive to Mesa, Arizona, every fall. In Mesa, they enjoyed a lively circle of friends. Barbara took and taught computer classes several times a week.

She continued with her love of travel and history, taking river trips from France to Turkey to Russia with her sister Janis and daughter Kathleen. An avid reader, Barbara was never without a book. She made microloans to women entrepreneurs in Africa, one of the many ways she lived her own brand of feminism. Barbara never completely lost her Maine accent and remained ever proud of her identity as a Cough.

She died April 9, 2015, unable to recover after major surgery. She will always be remembered for her ability to develop deep connections with new acquaintances and her many lifelong friends. Her generous spirit and love of fun live on in us all.

Barbara is survived by her husband of 21 years, David W. Shea. She was preceded in death by her husbands R.R. “Bob” Greive and Charles Law, and her siblings Bernard K. “Sonny” Cough, James Preston “Jimmy” Cough and Janis Cough Robbins. She also is survived by her daughter Bernadette Greive Lucas and her husband Leo Lucas of Hollywood, California; daughter Mary Greive Isar and her husband Andrew Isar, Gig Harbor; daughter Kathleen Greive Deakins and her husband Garald Deakins, Des Moines; son Raymond Peter Greive and his wife Nancy White Greive, Bellevue; son James Joseph “J.J.” Greive and his wife Suzanne Greive, Burien; son Thomas John Greive and his wife Diana Greive, Seattle; and grandchildren Gabriel Long, Kristin Long, Matthew Long, Brian John Deakins, Rae Anne Deakins, Paul Greive, Joseph Greive, and Marie Haley Greive.

A funeral Mass for Barbara will be celebrated Wednesday, April 15, 11 a.m., at St. Philomena Church in Des Moines. In lieu of flowers, contributions in Barbara’s memory may be made to Catholic Community Services and Catholic Relief Services.

(WSB publishes West Seattle obituaries by request, free of charge. Please e-mail the text, and a photo if available, to editor@westseattleblog.com)

6 Replies to "Memorial on Wednesday for Barbara Cough Shea, 1930-2015: 'Her generous spirit and love of fun live on'"

  • Betty Cough Donlan April 13, 2015 (7:34 am)

    Words as true, beautiful and complete as the woman they honor. Well done good and faithful ones. May the blessings of Barbara’s life continue to soothe her loving family.

  • Terri Robbins Viviano April 13, 2015 (8:01 am)

    This is a sad season for all of you as you lost my mothers’s best friend and only sister. Aunt Barbara is gone from your midst, but she surely lives in each one of you and in your children. The obituary was delightful to read, a picture of a truly gracious and adventurous spirit. I am privileged as her niece to share family ties that have their roots in the beautiful coastal town of Bar Harbor, Maine. I wish I could be with you all. Please know that my prayers are with you and especially as you say a more formal farewell on Wednesday. Much love, Terri Robbins Viviano

  • tom cough April 13, 2015 (11:56 am)

    I am very sorry for your loss-tom cough

  • kathy robbins April 13, 2015 (2:56 pm)

    Thanks for being such a wonderful aunt, Aunt Barbara. You were my mother’s favorite, well maybe with Uncles Jimmy and Sonny. I am sorry that your last months were such a struggle, but I have no doubt that you suffered with strength and humor. Peace to you and your family.
    Kathy Robbins

  • Michelle Cough Zabukovec April 13, 2015 (4:15 pm)

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all: Bernadette, Mary, Kathleen, Ray, JJ and Tom. I have many happy memories as a child at your old family house in West Seattle. I was praying your mom would pull through her surgery and yet I know she is laughing up in heaven now and is at peace. I can hear her laugh, see her smile. I’m glad I had the privilege of knowing her, thankful to have had family so close for my parents Steve (1st cousin, Eddie Cough’s eldest son) and Cheryl Cough and us to have when they moved out to Seattle from Maine so long ago.

    Best, Michelle Cough Zabukovec

  • Susan Dodd April 13, 2015 (6:36 pm)

    I am saddened to hear the loss of your mom and no words can ever take away that pain.
    What a blessing to have had a mother like yours and the all of the wonderful memories. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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