January 1, 2013 at 7:35 pm #606077
I’ve noticed something. Whenever I’m arguing some issue that has a moral quotient – and don’t they all? – I’m often aggravated more by my opponent’s failure to perceive my good intentions than by his refusal to give ground on whatever point it is I’m trying to make.
I assume the same thing is true for my opponent. After several rounds of points, counterpoints, and put-downs, he must be wondering why I can’t just concede that he’s a decent, rational fellow who simply happens to disagree with him on this one thing.
Picture yourself taking one of the following positions:
Welfare enables lazy people.
– No it doesn’t. It protects the most vulnerable.
Well I saw someone buying pop and candy with food stamps at the store today, so that proves it.
– Oh yeah? Well my grandma worked hard all her life and if it weren’t for food stamps, she’d starve.
. . . and so it goes.
Arguments like these can carry on forever and they often do. And not just on the Internet, either, but at family reunions, school board meetings, town halls . . .
Let’s say your opponent is a reasonable person in general and, secretly, you know this. However, you also know that you’ll never get him to concede your point, and since it’s not a question of simple fact, you’ll never be able to conclusively prove him wrong just by linking to some Web page with the appropriate statistic.
So . . . how do you know when to just stop arguing?
And how do you know when to stop listening to other people arguing?January 1, 2013 at 8:14 pm #781285
Because DBP, when we give a little, quite often it is not reciprocated except by you. Notice how others in your camp take you to task when you look at the other side?
The others are like honey badgers when they clamp their jaws on something. They don’t let go.January 1, 2013 at 8:17 pm #781286
Actually I just like Honey Badgers. Speaking of Badgers, On Wisconsin. Beat Stanford.January 2, 2013 at 8:11 am #781287
OK, the Cardinal Tree beat Bucky Badger. It was expected but it was a good game.
DBP, keep the faith. Sorry to hijack the thread a bit.
Happy New Year. Keep the posts coming.January 2, 2013 at 8:57 am #781288
DBP…am trying to walk away more and more. Neither side gives much..and, frankly, it’s a shame there are sides. We’re all in this together. Forget labels, that right/left thing. I know I sit and wonder where some people get their information, and I shake my head at some of the things posted on here. I’m sure others do the same about what I say. There is no difference – what a boring world it would be if we all simply agreed to one point of view.
Here’s to a better year than the last one :)January 2, 2013 at 5:11 pm #781289
ok.. i know i have been very sick again and it is sometimes more difficult to assume the good intentions of others when you are ill…
but.. i am so weary of meanness wrapped in a layer of acceptance because the views expressed are supposedly political.
at one point this holiday the meanness expressed here and elsewhere nearly overwhelmed me..
and that’s not easy to do.
this morning someone reminded me that kindness doesn’t grow when those who experience meanness reflect it back into the world.
i am trying very hard to take that to heart but the most difficult thing i know of is to return meanness with kindness.
some days this i know they are misguided thing doesn’t come easily to meJanuary 2, 2013 at 5:42 pm #781290
#5 said it best…”Forget labels, that right/left thing”
People’s passion for any topic is a mixture of a lot of things…
1) Upbringing – not wanting to sway from parents or family views
1b) What you know…or believe to be Right and Wrong…Good and Bad…
1c) – Geography…seriously…we are not having this conversation anywhere but here…
2) What’s Hot Now – Trendy agruments
3) Being the Odd one out – Peer Pressure – standing up and saying they disagree…so they just agree and learn to live with it
4) Spun Information – Anything sounds good if you say it right? What’s really the real deal?
5) Trying to fit in their moral, religious beliefs into a nice neat box and mixing in politics
So many other reasons to be passionate…
Understanding comes from listening…really listening…turning off that inner voice that (while you may be looking a person in the eye and pretending or trying to listen) sends you mixed messages about all sorts of reasons not to listen…
So…if you want to learn…You Listen.
Stay Calm…there is not one good reason to raise your blood pressure over any disagreement – where its not an emergency.
Have a conversation…listen…take what you can away…offer a handshake…and if you want to continue…it will happpen…
DO NOT hold grudges over stupid disagreements…
Where is this going to get you? No place for that negative energy to go…and DON’T try to form teams by venting against someone…you NEVER know when that person you least want to talk to…will be the one that you Really need most!
Know that anything you know or believe can be changed…
Increase the Peace in your mind and heart…
And..if it just doesn’t feel right…Walk Away.
“Everything I learned…I learned in Kindergarten”January 2, 2013 at 5:54 pm #781291
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