RANT: Chupacabras tethered to signs/bike racks outside stores

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  • #595313

    OK, so summer is here and I wanna get this one stirred up. I cannot STAND it when people leave their Chupacabras tethered to street signs, benches, bike racks or whatever stationary object might be around so they can grab a late, browse a store or whatever. This needs to be stopped for the Chupacabra safety and for the people walking by. An unattended Chupacabra is a dangerous Chupacabra. They could attack a person walking by (these situations usually give the Chupacabra unfettered access to the sidewalks being used by pedestrians and bikes alike) or they could be abused or hit by a bike themselves and not have any way to get away from an attacker or evade a bike.

    This is a safety issue and you Chupacabra owners need to cut this out. Stat.

    (sorry, had to do it) :)

    #697488

    Blend
    Participant

    Go to Pet Elements and pick yourself up a Chupahuahua bag so you can put yours in a bag and take it in the store with you.

    #697489

    EmmyJane
    Participant

    Brilliant!

    #697490

    HolyKow
    Member

    Alki,

    that will only work if it is a ‘Service Chupacabra’. Otherwise seattle municipal code 3.1415926535 states that is not legal….

    hk

    #697491

    Ken
    Participant

    My Chupa attracts unwanted attention when chained to signs and light poles. It could be the image of Jesus in scales on one side. No one pays any attention to the image of Elvis on the other side even though it changes with the phase of the moon.

    She is limited to the back yard until I see if the annual molt produces a less interesting pattern…

    I don’t let her watch cable tv anymore.

    #697492

    Blend
    Participant

    He actually IS a service Chupahuahua but he keeps eating his badge and the little backpack thingy. He even ate the specially made adamantium one.

    #697493

    DOC
    Member

    To all on this post. I was looking for your help. My Chupacabra has recently ran away (yes, he was even a service chupacabra) and I have not been able to locate him. He may have no collar or ID, as he usually eats them. I have tried setting up motion sensitive cameras and even called the history channel’s Monster Quest to help locate him.

    If you see any sign of him, or perhaps see some Chupacabra droppings containing a service chupacabra ID tag or are recently missing goats, PLEASE call me ASAP at 314-159-2654. It is a very important Chupacabra to me, very friendly/fearful and will not/will bite off your face. He responds to Fluffy. PLEASE and thank you for your help :-)

    #697494

    HolyKow
    Member

    You should always chip your chupacabra. These are available at Chip-acabra.com and are cheap. Any vet with a Chupacabra license can install them. When you consider the heartache that you experience when you lovable Chup-see-poo goes missing, is any cost too much? They are resourceful little buggers and love to dig. And they can hold their own against these wyle-coyotes we have this time of year in WS, so fret not about that.

    They are alergic to bacon, however, so if you get some sizzlean and staple it to the collar, it will be OK, unless they roll 3 19s in a row, then that unlocks the bacon.

    Good luck.

    hk

    #697495

    metrognome
    Participant

    I just posted a Rave about historic photos on the MOHAI website; after reading this string, I went back and examined enlarged versions of some of the photos. I was stunned to discover that Chupacabras used to run wild in W Seattle, which is why they think they own the sidewalks — they do! Also, if you examine an authentic totem pole made by local indigenous tribes you will find that at least one of the animals is a chupra in disguise (carvers were superstitious about the long term consequences of exposing humans to an actual likeness. DON’T stare at totem poles for more than 5 seconds or …. oh no … its tooooo late …)

    #697496

    Sue
    Participant

    I heard rumor that the Chupacabras are planning on protesting their being tethered to street signs, etc., and are planning on disrupting rush hour tonight (right around the time the Mariners’ afternoon game lets out). Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    #697497

    WSMom
    Member

    For all of us who’ve never heard of a Chupacabra:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra

    I hate it when I don’t get it…

    #697498

    ws4ever
    Member

    Don’t know how I’d get along without my little chupa-coochie-coo. His Thundershirt really helps decrease flame-belching as he’s nears the chupa park–really tough on the upholstery; however, just the thing for quick BLTs at Lincoln Park. Of course I pack the sizzle-lean for him. Owners insisting on feeding their minor chupas spiked cherry cordials will be publically flogged.

    #697499

    Garden_nymph
    Member

    I hate to inconvenience my fellows citizens, so I leave my chupacabra locked in my car for hours at a time, hot or cold weather; he likes it! On the rare occasion when I take him with me to a restaurant, I give him an “empty” glass beer bottle to chew on to keep him occupied. It works like a charm. If he has an accident, I promptly bag it up and often throw it on the closest roof or recycling container I can find. Last week, I took him with me to the day spa and he worked his charms on several kids who were there with there mother. While she wasn’t paying attention, my Chupy drained them a little, which worked like a charm at quieting them down so we could ALL enjoy the spa experience. I know the “breed” has a bad reputation, but mine is REALLY sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m convinced it’s all in the way you raise them. (Did I leave anyone out?) ;)

    #697500

    HolyKow
    Member

    Garden-Nymph :

    Little known fact about our resident Chupa population. Our local breed is close cousin to the Phoenix. So if you leave it in your car long enough, it will burst into flame #WHAMMO# new chupa (in AZ, they will need to be registered and carry their papers at all time…).

    I have been teetering back and forth on this one but I have decided, I am feeding mine after midnight tonight.

    hk

    #697501

    Garden_nymph
    Member

    HK,

    If my new Chupacabra is “born” in my car to my undocumented Chupacabra, will I be fined or will they be taken from me and deported? Does it only apply to Chupacabras in Arizona?!

    I am embarrassed admit that today, my Chupy was jaywalking and when a police officer tried to stop her, my Chupy became all sorts of disrespectful and threw a fit. Her eyes started to glow red and she started to hiss and screech and make other rude noises with her forked tongue. Her behavior drew the attention of other Chupies in the area and the officer was left with no choice but to quickly punch her in her face to subdue her. (The officer was alone and the fellow Chupies were unpredictable.) Do you know of any local Chupy Groups I can call to help me draw attention to this situation?! I think I will request the SPD apologize and me and my Chupy and make it clear that their new training should treat misbehaving male Chupies differently than ill-behaved FEMALE Chupies! just sayin’

    BTW, I feed mine after midnight but I’ve found it difficult to keep her away from bright lights and since we live in the Pacific Northwest, it’s almost impossible to keep her from getting wet!

    #697502

    The Velvet Bulldog
    Participant

    I would like to borrow someone’s Chupie to help with a particularly aggressive raccoon who has laid seige on my home. The Chupie can keep the tail and wear it on his collar. Will pay fariy dust and goat cheese in exchange for services.

    #697503

    Garden_nymph
    Member

    Forget the goat cheese and just give it a goat!

    #697504

    sam-c
    Participant

    speaking of birthing Chupacabras, I was speeding today, but I told the officer it was ok, because my Chupacabra was in labor, and we were on our way to the vet.

    #697505

    celeste17
    Participant

    I was driving and talking and texting on my cell phone today but it was okay because I was heading to the Airport to pick up my Chupacabra’s mom who was coming to Seattle from Arizona where she had illegally crossed the boarder to enter the US. My Chupacabra had been born here when her mother had illegally crossed the border before but then was returned.

    #697506

    Blend
    Participant

    I think I saw that lost Chupa in Alki a couple days ago. It started a fight and fled the scene..and the fight was blamed on these innocent drunk high school kids :(

    I wish you would get your little Chupa under control before it causes more problems on Alki !!!!

    #697507

    Garden_nymph
    Member

    Oh THAT Chupa; I think I saw the “Lost Chupy” signs that were illegally put up on power poles all over West Seattle. They need to get some traps out for it. If only there was someone in West Seattle with animal traps! Where are those feral Chupy trappers when we really need them?

    #697508

    MousePotato
    Member

    If there is a feral Chupy trapper team can you please direct them to Lincoln park? Apparently there is an elusive Chupy there that blows his horn ALL day long…. There have been a few reported sightings but no actual contact. I think it’s best for a professional to take this one down….

    #697509

    DOC
    Member

    Most Epic WSB thread. Ever. This has over 9000 points of win.

    #697510

    you know, if you would all just train your chupacabras we wouldnt need this thread to begin with. its not rocket science!

    #697511

    Blend
    Participant

    yah..those Chupas have ants in the pants huh

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