DBP
Aw . . . I’m just teasin’ ya, Homie. Sorry for the diversion.
Yeah, I could miss a deduction or two on my own, but I still like to do my taxes myself, by hand.
Several years ago I tried one of those software tax programs. First I used the program, and then I did the taxes myself, for comparison. I came out ahead with my own figuring . . . the software had actually missed a deduction.
I like to read the instruction forms and know what it is I’m filling out. The software programs don’t tell you any of that, though. They just take you through on a computer screen and it’s all automatic.
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As a professional comedian, I’ve followed the evolution of tax forms over the years with much interest. I remember several years ago, they had a line on there at the end where you could volunteer to send the IRS some extra money above and beyond what you owed. It wasn’t an offset against future taxes either, it was just money you volunteered to give to the government.
“Would you like to send an additional amount to help reduce the federal deficit?”
No joke. That’s what it said. But they eliminated that one the very next year, presumably for lack of interest.
Then just a couple of years ago, I remember struggling with some particularly difficult language on one of the schedules. There wasn’t a single sentence on there that I could understand. The whole thing was pure glop.
When I got to the end of the form, there was a special message from the IRA:
“Do you know how we can simplify this form? If so, please contact us at once.”
No lie. That’s really what it said.