JoB
I consider myself a success story and i have collected social security disability for over 15 years now. I am officially disabled with an illness that is difficult to obtain disability for… and in case you wonder how someone with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia could get disability.. i was disabled for documented organic brain damage.
When i’m good, i’m good.. but i am not reliable.. not even for contract work since i never know how long i will be unable to function when my health fails. I have failed at more deadlines in the past 15 years than i have met.. including the book challenge i took up the first of november.
As it is, i get the minimum amount possible because i concentrated on recovery so long that i missed the filing date that would have retired me with full benefits and barely managed to file in time to get benefits at all… the fact is that didn’t file until i had exhausted my savings trying to recover.
We don’t “need” the money and as a consequence i use my benefits mostly to help others…
You might wonder why i filed at all if we don’t need the money. The easy answer is that negotiating the challenges of this illness is expensive. But that’s not the real answer.
The answer is that although i currently have a financial and medical safety net.. that net is entirely dependent upon my husband and my family.. and at some point i may need to be able to access the medical benefits social security offers.. and i may find myself yet living on less than 700 a month.. as many friends of mine who are disabled do.
Disability is very hard on marriages. I am lucky to have a strong marriage that has survived the pressure… and i hope i continue to be that lucky.. but i can’t count on it. Nor can i count on my husband outliving me.
I consider myself a success because in spite of needing the safety net of a government program.. and i do need that safety net… I choose to live in such a way that I make a difference.. to myself… to my dogs… to my family and to my community.
I consider myself a success because even though i knew the novel challenge would be close to impossible for me to finish, i took it on anyway and i have not given up even though i only managed to write just under 12000 words in November… a long way from the 50000 needed… it may take me until next november.. or the next… but i will eventually finish.
i consider myself a success most because in spite of the difficulty i face every day, i still believe that i am incredibly lucky.. lucky to be living.. lucky to be able to walk.. even if generally not far and not gracefully.. lucky to be able to craft posts even when some of them take me as long as an hour to craft as i hunt for words and painstakingly edit out what i recognize doesn’t make sense. Lucky to be able to contribute.
I know that it may seem difficult for those who have not faced hardship to understand what social security in all it’s manifestations means to those who don’t have any kind of safety net… but i understand all too well how important that safety net could ultimately be to my survival.
I am the least pessimistic person i know.. but i am a realist in addition to being an optimist and i know that the problems facing our poor won’t just go away if we ignore them… and i know that those problems are a matter of survival.. not a matter of comfort.
I am lucky that i am not in their shoes today.. and I believe that luck carries with it the responsibility to help those who are not quite so lucky.
JanS and I and many others who post here are that person some of you characterize as being unwilling to help themselves. That characterization couldn’t possibly be further from the truth.