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1. DP
   Member Profile

   

   From an AP story out today entitled: "Arizona fugitive planned suicide by bear"

   FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. – A convicted killer who escaped from an Arizona prison had planned to overdose on heroin at Yellowstone National Park and let bears eat him, according to a sheriff's report.

   Tracy Province told a sheriff's detective after his capture that he had wanted to go up on a mountain, shoot up a gram of heroin and "be bear food." As he was preparing the drug, a voice told him not to go through with the plan, and he changed course in favor of trying to hitchhike to Indiana to see family.

   "He called it divine intervention," Mohave County sheriff's Detective Larry Matthews wrote in the August report.

   It's so weird. I cannot tell you how many times the exact same thing (or something very like) has happened to me!

   After being rescued from so many close calls, I can't help but wonder whether God might not have some kind of Special Plan for me.

   –D.P.

    
    

   The author wishes to acknowledge that the following things are not joking matters:

   • Prisons
   • Prison escapes
   • Bear attacks
   • Suicide
   • Drug addiction
   • Arizona
   • God

   And yet, somehow, when you put all the ingredients in a bowl and stir them together on the Internet, something truly magical happens.

   Posted 1 year ago #         

2. HunterG
   Member Profile

   

   Awesome, so this guy wants to get BEARS HOOKED ON HEROIN NOW?

   What has this world become? What will become of the BEARS!?!

   (Snicker....snicker).

   In all seriousness I know suicide is a heavy issue, but if you want that badly to kill yourself, I think you have every right to do so no matter how unfortunate it is. IN this case, I think "God" could have possibly been logic stepping in and taking the reins.

   By the way, does anyone else find it ironic that committing suicide is a crime? How exactly does one go about the sentencing?

   Posted 1 year ago #         

3. redblack
   Member Profile

   

   dude. i stopped reading when you said

   As he was preparing the drug, a voice told him not to go through with the plan, and he changed course in favor of trying to hitchhike to Indiana to see family.

   freakin' hoosiers. of which i is one. are. also, too.

   Posted 1 year ago #         

4. DP
   Member Profile

   

   Agreed!

   I would not trust no voice what told me to quit what I was doin' and hitchhike to anywhere further away than . . . say . . . Eugene.

   Drive? —Sure.
   Greyhound? —Maybe.

   But hitchhike! NEH-VAH!

   —But then, neither would I trust no voice what told me to quit what was I doin' and go build an ark of gopher wood "whose length shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits" blah blah blah blah blah.

   I'd be like: Whoa-whoa-WHOA with the cubits already! Just what do I look like to you, Mr. Voice? A Home Depot?

   Which is why it is so freekin' odd that these parents of mine decided ta name me after one of them Bible oddballs what was always kibitzin' with some Voice from somewhere.

   Granted, I did get a few good licks in against the Philistine that one time. That was badass.

   And that babe I swiped from her husband? Mm-mmm!

   But I paid fer that stunt later on, ya know.

   Oy, did I pay!

    

   Posted 1 year ago #         

5. flowerpetal
   Member Profile

   

   Suicide has unfortunate consequences for many. I made an acquaintance with someone who's mother lept to her death from a balcony in NY. Sadly she fell onto passer-bys, one became physically disabled for life, the other died. Her two surviving adult children now live with the knowing that there mother took her own life, and another; and permanently wounded a third person. Suicide does have consequences.

   Posted 1 year ago #         

6. bluebird
   Member Profile

   And...this is why I don't believe in god. Makes no sense whatsoever.

   Posted 1 year ago #         

7. LeftWing
   Member Profile

   Praise Jesus bluebird. Just praise him.

   Posted 1 year ago #         

8. JoB
   Member Profile

   that voice in your head used to be called a conscience

   Posted 1 year ago #         

9. bluebird
   Member Profile

   I'm on it Leftwing. But how do I make the voices stop?

   Posted 1 year ago #         

10. DP
    Member Profile

    

    And...this [the existence of suicide] is why I don't believe in god. Makes no sense whatsoever.

    —and yet . . . as creepy as it sounds to the rest of us . . . for some folks who really do believe in God, there's a kind of logic to it. Suicide, that is.

    Fact (sort of): The Hamas organization in Occupied Palestine does not accept "suicide bomber" applications from people who are depressed or otherwise already inclined to suicide. They want only those who are of "sound mind," have thought it over, and have decided to die "for the cause." Namely: God.

    (Liberating Palestine is also important, of course. Just not as important as martyrdom.)

    So we see that suicide is why some people don't believe in God, and precisely why others do.

       

    Now before anyone wastes any pixels claiming that I'm equating any particular religion with suicide, I just want to say (in advance) that you're wrong: I'm not equating one religion with suicide. I'm equating them ALL with it.

    Intellectual suicide that is . . .

    I kid! I kid the Faithful! Some of the smartest people I know used to go to church.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

11. DP
    Member Profile

    

    JoB: If your "conscience" told you to hitchhike to Indiana would you do it?

    Of course you wouldn't! Consciences know better than that!

    I tell ya, there's gotta be something else going on with this suicide-by-bear guy. Something beyond the ken of mortals.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

12. JoB
    Member Profile

    DP...

    if my conscience told me to hitchhike to Indiana there would probably be a good reason to do so.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

13. redblack
    Member Profile

    

    jo: like a big ovular race track? soybeans? klansmen disguised as tea partiers?

    indiana is where ambition goes to die.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

14. DP
    Member Profile

    

    God has a message for all y'all, and He wants me to share it with you, see?

    But His laptop hasn't been working, so you're just gonna have to be patient . . .

    Posted 1 year ago #         

15. JoB
    Member Profile

    redblack..

    Ok. so i admit
    i can't think of a good reason to hitchhike anywhere these days..
    or a good reason to go to Indiana

    but i have confidence in my conscience
    it would never tell me to go there without a good reason :)

    so yup.. if that voice spoke to me ..
    i would would be shaking my head all the way to the hiway..
    or maybe not..
    if it was my conscience
    i should already know why i should be on my way...

    Posted 1 year ago #         

16. metrognome
    Member Profile

    maybe he had this song stuck in his head ...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaQZcK_IS40

    Posted 1 year ago #         

17. SpeakLoud
    Member Profile

    Thank god I'm an atheist (my new favorite quote from Ricky Gervais-I'll be using it alot so keep an eye out for me!)

    Posted 1 year ago #         

18. JoB
    Member Profile

    speakloud..

    i have it on good authority that even atheists have a conscience ;-0

    Posted 1 year ago #         

19. redblack
    Member Profile

    

    jo: since the only sentience on earth exists within our own bodies, conscience is all we atheists have, really.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

20. mirabile
    Member Profile

    

    Hey!

    Um, Indiana can't be all bad. I can think of at least one good thing, namely...

    

    If someone told me to go to Indiana, I wouldn't hesitate.

    ♫ Don't stop believing... ♫

    Posted 1 year ago #         

21. JoB
    Member Profile

    mirabelle...

    somehow i doubt my conscience would tell me to go to Indiana for Indiana Jones...
    but i will admit there is a part of me that responds pretty strongly ;-)

    Posted 1 year ago #         

22. SarahScoot
    Member Profile

    

    Also, don't forget Gary, Indiana! Gary, Indiana; Gary, Indiana; Gaaaary, Indiaaaana... Let me say it once again.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

23. redblack
    Member Profile

    

    ever notice how indiana jones spent very little time at indiana university?

    that was intentional.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

24. DP
    Member Profile

    

    r/b: Hoosier mama? Hoosier daddy?

    Hey, you know who else spent time at IU (besides me and Indiana Jones?)

    —David Letterman.

    That's right.

    He established a special scholarship fund there for "C" students, like himself.

    Needless to say, I did not measure up.

    ************************************************************************************

    Re: Gary

    Most famous native son: Michael Jackson
    Official City Motto: "What died?"

    Posted 1 year ago #         

25. The Velvet Bulldog
    Member Profile

    Mom Bulldog is from Indiana--proof that that state produces some very fine individuals. Of course, it also encourages them to leave, for which I'm pretty grateful actually.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

26. JanS
    Member Profile

    

    Indianapolis...just listed as one of 5 great places to retire...because of the cost.

    atlantaplastic..shame, shame for blatant self-promotion :( and not adding to the conversation

    Posted 1 year ago #         

27. WSB
    Member Profile

    

    Spam killed. Don't even mention a spammer's name when you see one; it is another teeny tiny boost for their search results, which is what they're here for.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

28. DP
    Member Profile

    

    VB, Iowa is a lot like Indiana in this regard: A great place to be from.

    Am I a treasonous bastard for saying that about my own home state?

    Yes, I am.

    Do I give a care?

    I do not.

    —David "Corn-Fed All the Way" Preston

    Posted 1 year ago #         

29. JanS
    Member Profile

    

    I talked to my mom and dad this morning..they live about 60 miles NW of Philly. Yes, I, too, am glad that I am from there, but living here. The weather back there is horrendous...cold, cold, wet, white, cold, wet, white, miserable. I wish I could transport them here for the duration :)

    Posted 1 year ago #         

30. JoB
    Member Profile

    redblack..

    "jo: since the only sentience on earth exists within our own bodies, conscience is all we atheists have, really. "

    we agree..
    in a weird sort of way no self respecting atheist would ever agree to...
    at least the one i live with sure doesn't...
    ;)

    Posted 1 year ago #         

31. redblack
    Member Profile

    

    DP: letterman actually got a telecom degree from ball state university in muncie. there was actually a letterman scholarship for t-com majors who pulled the same GPA as letterman - a straight C.

    he was also the weatherman for the NBC affiliate, WTHR, when i was a kid in indy.

    again, notice how letterman isn't in indiana?

    and neither am i. :)

    but you know who is still in indiana, DP? and who did go to IU - well, the low-rent commuter campus in indy, anyway?

    dan quayle.

    jan: indy is the town that eli lily built. who, in turn, built evan bayh.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

32. DP
    Member Profile

    

    As I've stated before, r/b, Hoosiers are the Salt of the Earth.

    But Dan Quayle is more like . . . road de-icer.

    (Oh, and while we're speaking of things that should be dumped out on the highway in the middle of winter, let's not forget forget that other Dan: Mr. Coats.)

    My Republican dad — who's into weird conspiracy theories that sometimes turn out to be true — says that Mr. Quayle is being repackaged and relabeled for distribution in (surprise, surprise): Arizona!

    Dad informs me that a secretive organization known as the RNC (Reptilian National Committee) set Quayle up with his own compound in the Arizona desert, just so he could establish residency and get a move-on with a new senatorial campaign.

    Can such things really be?

    Sounds kooky, I know. But Dad's been right before . . .

    Posted 1 year ago #         

33. redblack
    Member Profile

    

    DP: or you could look at it this way:

    The future will be better tomorrow.

    -- Dan Quayle

    btw, so dan is using his son, ben quayle (R(tea party)-AZ), to set up a compound of morons in arizona?

    dude. that's redundant on about five different levels.

    Posted 1 year ago #         

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