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Rant... people who don't accept Invisable disabilities

Started 2 years ago by JoB
Latest reply from JoB

JoB
Member Profile

I don't know if the heat has gone to people's heads or what.. but for some reason i and a number of other people i know have gotten a ton of flack from people who think a cane is a fashion accessory... that handicapped access plates should only given to people in wheelchairs... and who are sure we are just working some kind of scam to get drugs or money or maybe just sympathy.

Most days i have patience, but when a woman gave me the what for today for driving what she thought must be someone else's car with handicapped plates when i wasn't parked in a handicapped spot... and a pharmacist questioned filling a pain medication that wasn't a controlled substance... i nearly lost it.

I don't know when people became so judgmental that they think they have the right to demand proof of your disability because they don't think you are handicapped.. or to question the prescription provided by your doctor... or to scoff when you state you are not physically capable of doing something...

the old adage .. walk a mile in my shoes.. comes to mind. But the truth is that most people would find it difficult to take 2 steps in the shoes of the people i know who have been harassed lately for no other reason than the ignorance of others.

Next time you see someone struggling out of a car with handicapped plates or a handicapped tag... or moving slowly... or looking lost... or asking for help... assume they are dealing with a lot more than you realize and give them a hand instead of a hassle. If nothing else, it will help move them out of your way.

you never know, you might have to walk in those shoes someday... and you'll find it's mighty uncomfortable without people making it harder for you.

Posted 2 years ago #
celeste17
Member Profile

Hi JoB, I know the feeling all to well. I take Mom everywhere she needs to go and sometimes the looks we get are awful. We don't have a problem with the pharmacist filling the pain pills we have a problem with the Doctor prescribing the pills. He sometimes won't authorize a refill and we aren't asking for pills every week. Sometimes it several months before she needs a refill and other times its a few weeks.
And trying to find those handicap spots is a chore. We were at the doctor today (at Swedish on pill hill) and there aren't enough spaces. We found a spot that wasn't handicapped but right at the end of the row near the elevator. Glad she wasn't in a wheelchair. And the garage at Cherry Hill is even worse. They recently opened another garage under the middle of the hospital so its easier to access if we have to go there but still the handicap spots aren't plentiful.

Posted 2 years ago #
Karl
Member Profile

hear-hear!

Posted 2 years ago #
HMC Rich
Member Profile

Too many "Good Samaritans" will butt in when they do not have a clue. A person with FM, CFS, RA and a list of other illnesses are in a lot of pain at times and cannot walk across a parking lot. They look healthy enough to the Samaritans but they are clueless.

A person in a wheelchair trumps some of these conditions, but honestly sometimes the person pushing the handicapped person looks at others that are not in wheelchair as not being worthy of a disability parking pass. Quite often the lesser disabled person will give up the spot to someone with more of a disability if they ask but some people are just jerks.

Hang in there.

Posted 2 years ago #
pigpen
Member Profile

Job,

I have, in my past, faced the same struggles. My response: CALL PEOPLE OUT ON IT.

Expecting people to assume the knowledge that some people, while looking of sound and able mind and body, might eligible and might require handicapped access to buildings and business' is asking to much. People, for the most part, are selfish and short-sided. By reminding them that their perceptions are not congruent with the truth you are not being rude, you are educating them. In the long run they will thank you and change.

Have some faith...

Posted 2 years ago #
Jiggers
Member Profile

Very good topic. I have a non-visual permanent disease that requires infusions rgeularly at the hospital. There is no cure for my disease. I look very normal on the outside, but I do battle pain frequently. I just try to be happy as possible and deal with it. People take good health for granted. I would trade anything back for a healthy body. Anything!!

Posted 2 years ago #
JoB
Member Profile

jiggers..

i am putting my money on body transplants..

and in the meantime.. trying to have the best life i can.

pigpen..

faith that speaking out will eventually make it easier for myself or others is a large part of what keeps me going.. sometimes in spite of all evidence to the contrary...

but then that's the nature of faith, isn't it:)

Posted 2 years ago #
jissy
Member Profile

JoB -- wondering, for my own knowledge, if you can explain what the difference is (if any) between the red, rearview placards, the blue, rearview placards and if someone has a wheelchair license plate. Just curious b/c I see all 3.....

Posted 2 years ago #
sarelly
Member Profile

What I find odd is what makes people in Seattle feel it is wise to comment about what anyone else is doing - ? Where I grew up, people ignore each other on the street. You keep your head down and you go where you're going. If you haven't been introduced by a mutual acquaintance, there is no conversation. If you waltz up to a stranger and start critiquing what they do, you could be assaulted! Street people are not aggressive because if they curse someone who doesn't give a handout they'll get beat up - and they know it. I'm not saying that's a GOOD thing, but when I first moved here and saw Seattle busy-bodies in action, I thought they must be suicidally inclined. Where I come from, if you have a cane in your hands, people are going to expect you to clobber them with it, and they'll stay out of your way.

Posted 2 years ago #
JanS
Member Profile

Jissy, the red placard is temporary, good for only 6 months; the blue placard is "permanent", good for 5 years before renewal, and the plates are optional, so you don't have to remember the placard every time. :)

Posted 2 years ago #
Aim
Member Profile

The concept is that blue placard is the same as plates (but you can move the placard between cars) - they're both permanent and are renewable with a doctor's orders every 5 years. The red placard is renewable with a doctor's orders every 6 months.

Beware of thinking red is "temporary" meaning the disability is temporary or less severe. I have Lupus and Lung Disease and will never NOT be disabled. However, I have a doctor who doesn't give the blue placards to anyone under 60 years old. This isn't unusual at all, and is becoming more common as abuse of the placards grows.

Re the original post, I generally respond with "yes I have a disability. Thank you for your concern over the space - I appreciate that someone is looking out for those of us with legitimate placards," and then move on. If they want to call the police, that's just fine -- that's why the state gives us those ID cards along with the placard/plate. For those who don't know, they're supposed to be on your person or in your car whenever you use the placard.

Posted 2 years ago #
alki_2008
Member Profile

Is it true that a car can be parked in a handicapped spot even if the disabled person isn't the one driving (assuming the disabled person's placard is in the car)? Seems that if someone that's healthy is driving a disabled person around...then they'd still need to park close to their destination.

Posted 2 years ago #
Aim
Member Profile

Alki_2008 this is correct - it's why there are the kind of placards that hang from the mirror. The placard (other than the license plates) isn't "registered" or attached to the car, but rather to the person. :-)

I like it when people ask questions about this sort of stuff. It's one of those things people wonder about but don't often ask, it seems to me.

Posted 2 years ago #
ellenater
Member Profile

I think it helps to remember that, as bad as it feels when it happens, it's their problem. You can decide to grace them with your help in reeducation, or not. But just try to remember that it really is their issue, and NOT yours.

I think people who are afraid act like that. People who are happy well adjusted do NOT act like that, for the most part.

Posted 2 years ago #
datamuse
Member Profile

alki_2008, I believe so. My mother-in-law is disabled and can't drive anymore, but she has a placard. When she visits us, she brings the placard so we can put it in our car when we're driving her around. She really can't walk long distances so it's good for us to park close to our destination whenever possible.

Posted 2 years ago #
JoB
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it isn't ok for someone to park in a handicapped space with plates or placards unless the handicapped person is in the car at the time...

in the state of Washington, you have to have your handicapped placard ID with you... even if the plates or placard belongs to you... or you can be towed or fined.

Posted 2 years ago #
alki_2008
Member Profile

"in the car at the time"? If able-bodied driver is picking up disabled-passenger, then the driver would need to park near the doorway while they go into [building] to get the disabled-passenger. Is that not allowed?

Of course, this assumes that disabled-passenger has the ID on them...and the placard is in the car.

Posted 2 years ago #
JanS
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alki-2008..I think that would probbly be allowed...makes sense to me, and I've seen it happen. As one who uses a disabled placard, I'd have no problem with that if it happened. The people I have a problem with are those able bodied persons who simply ignore the signs and park in the spots anyway,with the excuse that they'll only be a minute...grrr...!

Posted 2 years ago #
Magpie
Member Profile

We recently took my mother in law to a movie on the eastside. She is nearly 88, has a cane and 2 knee replacements and she needs help getting in and out of the car. EVERY handicapped spot had someone waiting in a car sans placard with their engines running, waiting for someone to get out of the theater, I'm assuming. Someone did move for us, but I was just flabbergasted that someone would think that was ok.

Of course, by the time we got inside, there were no aisle seats for her, not much handicapped seating at a movie theater unless you are in a wheelchair. The people on the aisle actually got up and let her walk by to the middle of the aisle, but seemed miffed. (I was so ticked off at this point I didn't say a word lest it be a harsh one.)

Posted 2 years ago #
GenHillOne
Member Profile

Magpie - first, sitting in designated spaces is wrong. period.

I have to say though that I'm pretty programmed to stand up and let people into the row when they are waiting at the end (minus the looking miffed of course, that's stupid as it comes with the territory). It's just automatic. If you had asked me if I would scoot down so your mother-in-law could sit on the aisle, I wouldn't have minded at all. I don't consider myself insensitive, but don't know that it would have occurred to me. Perhaps it will now...the beauty of these discussions. But maybe just making the request would have done the trick. Maybe they'd still be asses, but I would hope not.

Posted 2 years ago #
celeste17
Member Profile

My biggest complaint is the lack of handicapped paring spaces. Especially at the hospital. I realize that no matter how many spots there are there simply won't be enough ever. But when a parking lot has one maybe two spots its frustrating. Fortunately Mom and I can walk a little ways but it would be nice to be able to get close to the place that you are going to without having to hunt for a spot. I love Target as they have several spots and Costco as they have several also.

Posted 2 years ago #
JoB
Member Profile

i think most people don't have any idea how necessary an aisle seat is to some people who still want to go to movies... and not just for mobility :(

and i am not sure it would matter to them if they did... too many people are focused on their own rights and don't care too much about other people.

what used to be common courtesy now seems to be the exception...

i think it is a no-brainer.. you are sitting on the bus and someone who has difficulty standing gets on.. you get up and offer your seat..

when someone with mobility issues enters the theater... you should move down to offer them your seat...

you hold doors for slow moving people...

you walk with a slow moving person to help them across safely across a crosswalk...

i sound like a geezer.. but when i was growing up if i didn't do those things some adult would have had me by the ear in a heartbeat and i would be fetched home to explain myself in front of my parents...

though i don't advocate grabbing children by the ear... i do wonder how people who are courteous and compassionate about others got labeled do-gooders... how they became the exception instead of the rule.

Posted 2 years ago #
alki_2008
Member Profile

Yep - one of the things that drives me nuts is when young, perfectly able-bodied folks sit in those front seats of the bus and then don't move when an elderly person gets on. Usually ends up that a middle-aged person a few rows back will offer their seat instead.

It's not like the young folks in the front don't see the elderly folks. They obviously see them and look at them, but still won't get up to offer their seat...even when there are plenty of open seats further back. Makes me really disappointed in our society.

Posted 2 years ago #
Sue
Member Profile

Alki_2008, please consider that the "young, perfectly able-bodied folks" may also have a hidden, invisible disability. I am a person who has a handicapped placard, but does not necessarily look like they need one. And I often wonder if people are judging me on the bus when I don't get up from a front seat to give to someone who looks more in need than I am. Yes, there are surely some people who don't get up for those who need it, but that may not always be the case.

Posted 2 years ago #
Jiggers
Member Profile

Sue...I have a regional reduced fare permit bus pass that when I ride the bus it cost's me only 50 cents, but evertime I show a driver he looks at me with a grin because I look healthy up front because I'm still quite young. Again, Seattle is notorious for profiling people the wrong way.

Posted 2 years ago #
alki_2008
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Sue, point taken. I should limit my rant to the young (ie, high school/college) kids that don't get up...or 20-ish folks that seem able-bodied considering the nimbleness they have getting on/off the bus. Granted, some of them may have 'hidden disabilities', but that's probably the exception rather than the rule. It strikes me most when I bus through the U-District, where it seems the college kids just want to be close to the doors because most of them only go a few blocks.

Posted 2 years ago #
Seattle Babs
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On the other hand, I've known people who have kept their deceased parents handicapped permits to get premiumn parking spaces. I wonder how many people abuse those precious parking spaces?

Posted 2 years ago #
JoB
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Seattle Babs...

that's why the state of washington issues every person with handicapped parking hang tags or plates an ID.. which they are required to carry with them.

I can be both ticketed and towed for using my handicapped plates if i can't produce my ID for law enforcement.

This is the only state i have lived in that requires an ID... and i have come to believe it's a good thing.

Posted 2 years ago #