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RANT: Chupacabras tethered to signs/bike racks outside stores

Started 1 year ago by ToddinWestwood
Latest reply from JoB

ToddinWestwood
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OK, so summer is here and I wanna get this one stirred up. I cannot STAND it when people leave their Chupacabras tethered to street signs, benches, bike racks or whatever stationary object might be around so they can grab a late, browse a store or whatever. This needs to be stopped for the Chupacabra safety and for the people walking by. An unattended Chupacabra is a dangerous Chupacabra. They could attack a person walking by (these situations usually give the Chupacabra unfettered access to the sidewalks being used by pedestrians and bikes alike) or they could be abused or hit by a bike themselves and not have any way to get away from an attacker or evade a bike.

This is a safety issue and you Chupacabra owners need to cut this out. Stat.

(sorry, had to do it) :)

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
Member Profile

Go to Pet Elements and pick yourself up a Chupahuahua bag so you can put yours in a bag and take it in the store with you.

Posted 1 year ago #
EmmyJane
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Brilliant!

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
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Alki,

that will only work if it is a 'Service Chupacabra'. Otherwise seattle municipal code 3.1415926535 states that is not legal....

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
Ken
Member Profile

My Chupa attracts unwanted attention when chained to signs and light poles. It could be the image of Jesus in scales on one side. No one pays any attention to the image of Elvis on the other side even though it changes with the phase of the moon.

She is limited to the back yard until I see if the annual molt produces a less interesting pattern...

I don't let her watch cable tv anymore.

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
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He actually IS a service Chupahuahua but he keeps eating his badge and the little backpack thingy. He even ate the specially made adamantium one.

Posted 1 year ago #
DOC
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To all on this post. I was looking for your help. My Chupacabra has recently ran away (yes, he was even a service chupacabra) and I have not been able to locate him. He may have no collar or ID, as he usually eats them. I have tried setting up motion sensitive cameras and even called the history channel's Monster Quest to help locate him.

If you see any sign of him, or perhaps see some Chupacabra droppings containing a service chupacabra ID tag or are recently missing goats, PLEASE call me ASAP at 314-159-2654. It is a very important Chupacabra to me, very friendly/fearful and will not/will bite off your face. He responds to Fluffy. PLEASE and thank you for your help :-)

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
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You should always chip your chupacabra. These are available at Chip-acabra.com and are cheap. Any vet with a Chupacabra license can install them. When you consider the heartache that you experience when you lovable Chup-see-poo goes missing, is any cost too much? They are resourceful little buggers and love to dig. And they can hold their own against these wyle-coyotes we have this time of year in WS, so fret not about that.

They are alergic to bacon, however, so if you get some sizzlean and staple it to the collar, it will be OK, unless they roll 3 19s in a row, then that unlocks the bacon.

Good luck.

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
metrognome
Member Profile

I just posted a Rave about historic photos on the MOHAI website; after reading this string, I went back and examined enlarged versions of some of the photos. I was stunned to discover that Chupacabras used to run wild in W Seattle, which is why they think they own the sidewalks -- they do! Also, if you examine an authentic totem pole made by local indigenous tribes you will find that at least one of the animals is a chupra in disguise (carvers were superstitious about the long term consequences of exposing humans to an actual likeness. DON'T stare at totem poles for more than 5 seconds or .... oh no ... its tooooo late ...)

Posted 1 year ago #
Sue
Member Profile

I heard rumor that the Chupacabras are planning on protesting their being tethered to street signs, etc., and are planning on disrupting rush hour tonight (right around the time the Mariners' afternoon game lets out). Don't say I didn't warn you.

Posted 1 year ago #
WSMom
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For all of us who've never heard of a Chupacabra:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra

I hate it when I don't get it...

Posted 1 year ago #
ws4ever
Member Profile

Don't know how I'd get along without my little chupa-coochie-coo. His Thundershirt really helps decrease flame-belching as he's nears the chupa park--really tough on the upholstery; however, just the thing for quick BLTs at Lincoln Park. Of course I pack the sizzle-lean for him. Owners insisting on feeding their minor chupas spiked cherry cordials will be publically flogged.

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
Member Profile

I hate to inconvenience my fellows citizens, so I leave my chupacabra locked in my car for hours at a time, hot or cold weather; he likes it! On the rare occasion when I take him with me to a restaurant, I give him an "empty" glass beer bottle to chew on to keep him occupied. It works like a charm. If he has an accident, I promptly bag it up and often throw it on the closest roof or recycling container I can find. Last week, I took him with me to the day spa and he worked his charms on several kids who were there with there mother. While she wasn't paying attention, my Chupy drained them a little, which worked like a charm at quieting them down so we could ALL enjoy the spa experience. I know the "breed" has a bad reputation, but mine is REALLY sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm convinced it's all in the way you raise them. (Did I leave anyone out?) ;)

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
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Garden-Nymph :

Little known fact about our resident Chupa population. Our local breed is close cousin to the Phoenix. So if you leave it in your car long enough, it will burst into flame #WHAMMO# new chupa (in AZ, they will need to be registered and carry their papers at all time...).

I have been teetering back and forth on this one but I have decided, I am feeding mine after midnight tonight.

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
Member Profile

HK,

If my new Chupacabra is "born" in my car to my undocumented Chupacabra, will I be fined or will they be taken from me and deported? Does it only apply to Chupacabras in Arizona?!
I am embarrassed admit that today, my Chupy was jaywalking and when a police officer tried to stop her, my Chupy became all sorts of disrespectful and threw a fit. Her eyes started to glow red and she started to hiss and screech and make other rude noises with her forked tongue. Her behavior drew the attention of other Chupies in the area and the officer was left with no choice but to quickly punch her in her face to subdue her. (The officer was alone and the fellow Chupies were unpredictable.) Do you know of any local Chupy Groups I can call to help me draw attention to this situation?! I think I will request the SPD apologize and me and my Chupy and make it clear that their new training should treat misbehaving male Chupies differently than ill-behaved FEMALE Chupies! just sayin'
BTW, I feed mine after midnight but I've found it difficult to keep her away from bright lights and since we live in the Pacific Northwest, it's almost impossible to keep her from getting wet!

Posted 1 year ago #
The Velvet Bulldog
Member Profile

I would like to borrow someone's Chupie to help with a particularly aggressive raccoon who has laid seige on my home. The Chupie can keep the tail and wear it on his collar. Will pay fariy dust and goat cheese in exchange for services.

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
Member Profile

Forget the goat cheese and just give it a goat!

Posted 1 year ago #
sam-c
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speaking of birthing Chupacabras, I was speeding today, but I told the officer it was ok, because my Chupacabra was in labor, and we were on our way to the vet.

Posted 1 year ago #
celeste17
Member Profile

I was driving and talking and texting on my cell phone today but it was okay because I was heading to the Airport to pick up my Chupacabra's mom who was coming to Seattle from Arizona where she had illegally crossed the boarder to enter the US. My Chupacabra had been born here when her mother had illegally crossed the border before but then was returned.

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
Member Profile

I think I saw that lost Chupa in Alki a couple days ago. It started a fight and fled the scene..and the fight was blamed on these innocent drunk high school kids :(

I wish you would get your little Chupa under control before it causes more problems on Alki !!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
Member Profile

Oh THAT Chupa; I think I saw the "Lost Chupy" signs that were illegally put up on power poles all over West Seattle. They need to get some traps out for it. If only there was someone in West Seattle with animal traps! Where are those feral Chupy trappers when we really need them?

Posted 1 year ago #
MousePotato
Member Profile

If there is a feral Chupy trapper team can you please direct them to Lincoln park? Apparently there is an elusive Chupy there that blows his horn ALL day long.... There have been a few reported sightings but no actual contact. I think it's best for a professional to take this one down....

Posted 1 year ago #
DOC
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Most Epic WSB thread. Ever. This has over 9000 points of win.

Posted 1 year ago #
service dog academy
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you know, if you would all just train your chupacabras we wouldnt need this thread to begin with. its not rocket science!

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
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yah..those Chupas have ants in the pants huh

Posted 1 year ago #
ToddinWestwood
Member Profile

I have heard Chupacabras in Fauntleroy Park at night, better bring in your cats and small dogs.

"was spotted running south in the 6500 block of 42nd SW (behind West Seattle Thriftway in Morgan Junction); midmorning on Thursday, Marsha reported a Chupacabra at 36th and Dawson (map). We publish these not as a warning, but as a reminder, if you think “Nah, not MY neighborhood” – they’re everywhere"

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
Member Profile

yep..the school went into lock down when one was seen wearing gang colors.

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
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..and carrying an ax...

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
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well..I don't know the whole story because WSB and The Hearld failed to inform me via Facebook and other feeds.

Posted 1 year ago #
service dog academy
Member Profile

why isnt this thread on the side bar as a "big story"?

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
Member Profile

Ya know, with all of these 'rogue' chupas around, the WSB really needs to jump in here with a link about:

“coexisting with chupacabras”

It really is becoming a public safety issue. Not mine tho..they are perfect. I named them 'Gatekeeper' and 'Keymaster'.

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
Member Profile

This has to stop. I was just vacuuming my car at the Car Wash Palace on 35th, and that little dirty Chalupa just pulled RIGHT into the wash area without asking. No flowery english, no bowing, NOTHING. Just me and my resplendent coach.

And he went delux!

Totally out of line. Not. OK.

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
MousePotato
Member Profile

It is possible to co-exist. The service chupacabras are quite disciplined. I recently lost my trunk monkey in an unfortunate heat related incident and replaced it with a chupy. This guy doesn't even need the tire iron. Now I can drive as fast as I want on I-35 without any concern. If you want me to pull over, I will.

I can guarantee you won't like it....

Posted 1 year ago #
ws4ever
Member Profile

My chupy snacks on poison oak on the Lincoln Park slope and exudes little beads on his outer covering (hesitate to call this flashing scaliness a true fur coat). When wet he shakes himself off, and this spring the whole neighborhood has been in and out of the hospital with total body poison oak. I'm surprised the national press hasn't picked up on this pandemic. What with the fire-breathing, we'd be scratching all up and down the 'corridors'.

Posted 1 year ago #
EmmyJane
Member Profile

Now that Chups are all the rage (saw Paris Hilton carrying one in an oversized bag in People magazine), I'm opening a breeding facility in my back yard. I just went and bought 100 1 foot by 1 foot cages to keep the moms in. Email me at ChupsRUs@gmail.com if you want one.

Also looking for Chupacabra studs. No tours of breeding facilities allowed.

Posted 1 year ago #
MousePotato
Member Profile

I'd like to offer my services as a stud. I believe that cross-breeding may be the answer to some of the aggression issues in the chupacabra....

Posted 1 year ago #
HolyKow
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Wow, this thread should be in the WSB hall of fame. If there is not one, this will be the inaugural entry.

You guys rock.

hk

Posted 1 year ago #
celeste17
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And not one nasty negative comment in the bunch. I know I have been laughing.

Posted 1 year ago #
The Velvet Bulldog
Member Profile

Oh great, just what WS needs: "Chupacabra Nail Salon."

Posted 1 year ago #
westseattledood
Member Profile

Chupacabra are being sold at street corners EVERY WHERE without permits and all that "stuff".

Now, what kind of people buy those chupy's? Really. Who KNOWS where they are sourcing their chuppies? Some say they are STOLEN chupacabra, or damaged chupacabra that the vendors are being FORCED to sell to unsuspecting chupacabra buyers who are supporting these highly suspicious but really hardworking traders. I don't know. I'm getting pretty darn fed UP with the whole trending of chupacabra and all the misunderstanding and confusion about these creatures, And that includes my OWN confusion.

I know. Let's get an online petition going and write letters to the State Departments of Kind of FIshy & Wildly Exaggerated Life or maybe the Department of Nonsensical and Poetic Licensing, perhaps? Who's with me?!?!?j

You start it. I'll sign it.

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
Member Profile

I just saw a Chupacabra place an ad over there --->

I don't see it anymore. They must have hacked WSB's account and it was flagged for removal.

This is getting scary!

Posted 1 year ago #
JohnM
Member Profile

I've had teribble luck keping Chubacabras. I lost 3 after falling in potholes while we out walking, one fell through the grating on the South Park Bridge, two died of starvation while waiting to turn left, one at 35th and Alaska, the other at 42nd and Fauntelory, also trying to turn left, one liked to lay outside Gee, but he disappeared suddenly, one got lost detouring through Pigeon Point and the list goes on. Luckily, the Dollar Store has them at 3 for $2.

Posted 1 year ago #
HelperMonkey
Member Profile

Chupacabras affect West Seattle!

Posted 1 year ago #
velo_nut
Member Profile

I named mine "Minty"

Posted 1 year ago #
ToddinWestwood
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http://www.nwnlalaland.com/wp-content/photos/lala/chupacabra.jpg

Posted 1 year ago #
ToddinWestwood
Member Profile

(sorry Brenda)

I am starting a new Chupacabra Yoga Studio. We will be having Cho-Ga, an offshoot of Doga.

Cho-Ga combines massage and meditation with gentle stretching for Chupacabra and their human partners. In chaturanga, dogs sit with their front paws in the air while their human partners provide support. In an “upward-paw pose,” or sun salutation, owners lift Chupacabras onto their hind legs. In a resting pose, the person reclines, with legs slightly bent over the Chupacabras torso, bolster-style, to relieve pressure on the spine.

Posted 1 year ago #
sam-c
Member Profile

my neighbor has a Chupacabra, or I least I think he did. I'm not sure though, because I think the little Chupy abandoned his car in front on my house. it has a bunch of "I stop for goats" and "honk if you love your Chupacabra" stickers on the back. remind me the phone number / website for abandoned Chupy cars? I gotta get that ugly thing towed.

Posted 1 year ago #
miws
Member Profile

I went to the Greenwood Car Show today, and spotted a Chupacabra very near where I hopped off the bus at 67th & Greenwood!

Mike

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
Member Profile

If it's "Hot Yoga" then I will sign mine up for your class. Mine likes it about 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. Sometimes I just throw him in the fire pit on Alki Beach so he can do some stretching.

But SUPER GREAT IDEA!! I am glad there are more activities popping up around town to make sure our little guys don't get bored and start chewing through the Alaskan Way Viaduct causing it to one day collapse. BAD CHUPPIE !!!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Garden_nymph
Member Profile

Sadly, I fear the Chupacabras have been breeding faster that homes can be found for them. With all the Chupy owners who leave their Chupys in cars on hot days, the population has, quite literally, exploded. Now those money grubbing capitalists have "adopted" all the shelter chupys and just today, when I pulled up to place my order at my favorite fast food establishment I saw, much to my horror, a CHALUPA-CABRA on the menu! I ordered mine with a side of extra sour cream. I have to admit, they are quite tasty! For dessert I had an after dinner Minty.

Posted 1 year ago #

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