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(74 posts)

Only the lonely

Started 3 years ago by Lowery
Latest reply from JanS

Lowery
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So where's the secret spot in WS that all the single people hang out at? For some reason it seems to me that WS has a very low population of singles (females in particular, since that's what I'm looking for). For those WS veterans, is there a higher count of families and couples in WS or am I just getting the wrong vibe?

Posted 3 years ago #
Zenguy
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Nope, I think you are pretty much right. All my friends over here are married and then there is me...lol

Posted 3 years ago #
squareeyes
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Where have you been looking and what methods are you applying?

WS does seem more family oriented. As far as I can tell, I'm the only single person on my block, the rest are couples/families. My girlfriends and I tend to go out most Friday nights to do the drinks/dinner thing around WS but I'm sure it's difficult to approach a table of women even if we are sitting in the bar area. I've made it a mission to occasionally go sit a bar for a drink or a meal on my own and see if I can successfully strike up a conversation with whomoever is sitting next to me. Sometimes a bust, sometimes some great conversations.

Posted 3 years ago #
Lowery
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"I'm sure it's difficult to approach a table of women" Finally, a female that understands the single man's plight. Thank you, squareeyes. You've made me so happy, I feel myself tearing up...excuse me...

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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try being a single, gay male in west seattle ... arghh!

Posted 3 years ago #
Zenguy
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Shed, that is my plight as well...sigh.

Posted 3 years ago #
WSMom
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Have you ever tried joining a choir? SWCC choir is open to one and all (even tone deaf) and church choirs often have many singles in them. I've made lifelong friends singing in choirs. Just a thought...

Posted 3 years ago #
squareeyes
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My favorite place for bar chat is Jak's; it just feels like pretty much everyone is there for conversation - even the couples. Maharajah's bar also appears very social and inclusive.
No recommendations for shed or Zen; but I'd certainly happily chat with you if you were sitting next to me.

Posted 3 years ago #
JenV
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I met my BF at the Rocksport of all places....

Posted 3 years ago #
Cait
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The Rocksport when they have live bands! It's a really lively place and it's a little divey. I love it there and loved it when I was single.

BTW - Rant on the Rocksport. Thanks for having Creme Tangerine there and then never bringing them back. Oh, but I'll come back for your burgers. :(

Posted 3 years ago #
TammiWS
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One of those land use/constuction signs went up in the Rocksport parking lot a couple weeks ago...for the whole space from the nail shop through to Super Sup...:(

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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and I suppose it depends on what age woman you're looking for...20-30? 30-40? 40-50? older? lol..the senior center? j/k....really..

believe me, it's equally difficult for older single women. I don't hang at bars by myself, most of my friends are coupled....so unless I'm out with friends, I'm not even at these places, but at home....alone.

Posted 3 years ago #
LisaM
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I think West Seattle is mostly couples/families, HOWEVER, there are actaually lots of single gals that live here - I know many in various age groups. And yes, we go out in groups, as most of us are older (40's and up) so hanging out in bars alone is not gonna happen.
I have met singles in the past - skating on Alki, walking down the street (really), and volunteering.
Also, here is a tip for you - lots of single women at the PCC wine tastings every month...good luck!

Posted 3 years ago #
gambaru
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Skylark is a fun place with live bands on the weekends......... The crowd is mixed...

Posted 3 years ago #
In2theknight
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The senior center?! LMAO!
Hey ladies...I've got Bingo!

Posted 3 years ago #
cruiser
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Pick up your knitting and let's go love, you've scored:)

Posted 3 years ago #
Lowery
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Zen and Shed, is it a lack of gay guys in WS or is it that the ones around aren't approachable.

JanS, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree that it's equally as hard for older or younger single women. Since 95% of the time, it has to be the guy that has to make the 1st move, he's got to wonder about a lot of stuff (is she only out to talk with her girlfriends, did she go thru a break-up and now hates all men, is she just out to play head games with guys, is she already with someone, etc). For the most part, females don't have to worry about all that much, 1st because they are usually not the ones that go out on a limb and make the initial contact. 2nd because usually if a guy is out, either alone or with his guy friends, he's still going to be open to talking to new people. Where as women, speaking from my experience, will go out with their girlfriends but have no desire to talk to new people...just stay within their circle of friends. This isn't a slam against all women. Like I said, it's just my personal experience.

Posted 3 years ago #
Zenguy
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There is a pretty good gay population in West Seattle, it's just that most of them are partnered.

Approachable is not really a problem with guys...who's gonna say no?

Posted 3 years ago #
MrJT
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Hopefully MY partner... There is hope guys, deep down I used to think it would never happen and it did. Patience men, patience.

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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i think my issue is the same as yours, lowery . . . it's not a matter of if there are single folk out there . . . it's a matter of where does one find them. the gay and lesbian community used to have guppy's to meet and greet but that closed down a few years ago.

Posted 3 years ago #
villagegreen
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Practically everyone I know that lives in Seattle has given up on the singles scene and taken to Match.com. Seattle just isn't an easy place to meet people. I guess it's the reserved Scandinavian peronality. I know people who have gotten married after meeting via Match.com, but I also know people who have considered filing restraining orders -- so there's good and bad, I guess.

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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seattle can definitely be a tough nut to crack.

Posted 3 years ago #
In2theknight
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So, the legendary "Seattle Freeze" isn't just a myth?

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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and it doesn't take long to feel the chill . . . or to succumb to it.

Posted 3 years ago #
Anonymous
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As someone not from here, I would have to say that the "chill" does exist. People are friendlier and more out-going where I am from.

Posted 3 years ago #
Zenguy
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You guys must be hanging out in the wrong places. I meet friendly people all the time, then again I can start a conversation with the people in line at the grocery store.

Shed, find an activity you like and then look in the what's happening section of the SGN (Seattle Gay News for the rest of you). There are groups for hiking, cards, swimming and just about anything else you might be interested and a couple of things you probably never thought of too.

Posted 3 years ago #
cruiser
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Emm... as someone who is not only not from here, but is not from the US either, I'd have to say that overall people are not friendly here. Being friendly for me goes beyond a fake smile and a "have a good one".

Posted 3 years ago #
Anonymous
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cruiser - Isn't that the truth!! Americans are definitely NOT as friendly as people from other parts of the world.

Funny too, our friends in Europe are friends for life. Once you have become friends, you will ALWAYS be friends. Not always the case in America.

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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just to clarify my position . . . i genuinely think seattle folk are friendly. i've met some of the most endearing people here. funny, talented, smart, passionate, all around good people. it just takes time to get to know them. there is true warmth under the "chill".

zenguy - thanks for the recommendations! i do get out and meet people but i typically have to leave west seattle to do it. my comments were isolated to meeting singles within the west seattle community, not seattle at large.

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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Lowery. First...and this is my opinion... older women won'tbe playing the games, but will be a bit more cynical about men because of the wisdom one has learned. And...if I'm out with my friends - female types, or couples, and you're at the bar, how exactly should I approach you so it doesn't seem that I'm looking to just pick you up for the evening, if you get my drift. So it's a double edged sword.

And then there's this. I don't do the match.com thing because , for me,while I don't mind a man in my life, I just don't want one in my home - lol. In other words, I'm not quite looking for a soulmate, for a committed relationship of permanence..I've done that already. Now, one must always remember to believe in never saying never. But, for the most part, miss having male friends to spend time with. The dynamic is different than spending time with female friends.

I think maybe it's (the difficulty) fairly equal for both men and women when it comes to meeting someone out there on the "social scene".

Posted 3 years ago #
Lowery
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I think we should have a West Seattle Singles get together sometime for all solos (I'd look forward to hearing more about Zen and Shed's plight). Just so we can all see that there's more of us out there. Any interest?

JanS, what I've seen is that both sides are becoming more cynical. As you can probably see from my last post, men are cynical because of the games we have to look forward to if we want to take the chance on making the 1st move. And from your experience, you have reason to be cynical of us. So where does it all lead to? Eventually will both sides be so standoff-ish that we all decide to just throw in the towel? Also, your scenario about coming up to someone in a bar is valid because that is something that, as the ones that are expected to make the initial approach, guys have to think about every single time they go out. Females will automatically think "uh oh, he's just talking to me to try to get some yum yum." And that's too bad, because I also miss having platonic female friends.
My opinion and skepticism for dating sites like match.com will be reserved for a whole other thread someday.

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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color me interested!

Posted 3 years ago #
ellenater
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Start a singles group, people!!!

We started a knitting group from this blog. I've seen meditation group discussions and also book groups.

Also, i think people in West Seattle are WAY friendlier than in other parts. But I also think Seattlites just take longer to warm up. I'd rather have a slow warmer than a friendly fake any day!

Posted 3 years ago #
Zenguy
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Ellenator you may be right about that. I have to disagree with NR thought about friends for life, I have a friend of 25 years and some others that I have known for 17 and these are the king of friends you can call in the middle of the night and they would be there for you too.

I am always up for a meet and greet, you can never have too many friends!

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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those friends for life are friends for life, really. I have 2 that I worked with 30 years ago before the daughter was born. The three of us sometimes didn't talk for a year, or hang out for longer than that. But...we've weathered just about everything, and still get together for plays, dinner, hanging out, and on and on. And it's always like we just saw each other yesterday :)

A singles group...might as well..it could be fun...though I think the holidays may get in the way...maybe between Crimmas and New Years? The weekend after New Years? BPP?

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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"some yum yum"? lolol...that's a new one...

Posted 3 years ago #
shed22
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yeah . . . a mixer! i agree with JanS, after the holidays would be best.

Posted 3 years ago #
squareeyes
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Weeknight or weekend night? I'd say a Thursday or Friday night in Maharajah's bar. I'm "manned up" at the moment, but would be a good wingchick.

Posted 3 years ago #
Anonymous
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I think this is a fabulous idea!

And, SO funny that yesterday (while we were discussing friendships and the longevity of friendships), my childhood best friend contacted me!!:)

I stand corrected about American friendships lasting! JanS, It's so wonderful isn't it, really felt as if no time had passed.

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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NR, people are constantly surprised that I met and worked with them in the late 70's when my daughter was just an idea...she's 28 now. I'm sure we'll always be friends....

Posted 3 years ago #
celeste17
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I am a 44 year old female single. I have had a couple of relationships but nothing that has lasted.
I am a bit of an introvert. I don't like to go to bars as I don't drink (I am not a prude when it comes to drinking its because of a health issue) and also don't like crowds. I get upset when someone is drunk and they start making a scene. I like to sit at home and watch TV or chat on my computer or just read a book or all three (LOL).
I love to go to the movies and don't mind going by myself but would love to have someone that would call me and say hey you lets go to the movie and dinner. I have female friends but they are either married or divorced and have kids. They say to me that I disappear from their lives and I think, but don't say to them, that the phone works both ways.
So where does a single gal who doesn't like to go to bars and is sometimes shy go to meet men who will talk to her and sometimes pick up the phone and invite said female to a movie and dinner?

So again, where does a single gal go to meet men who will talk to her and make her feel special? I would love to have a relationship with someone and be able to bring them home to meet my Mom and then meet my siblings and my nephews and niece.

Posted 3 years ago #
pigeonmom
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I vote for Thu or Fri mixer please.

Posted 3 years ago #
Kayleigh2
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Here's a very un-Seattle idea: church. If you are spiritual-but-not-religious, even, there are a lot of non-judgmental, non-denominational, non-irritating churches here. (hey, if a twit like me can go to WSUU and like it...) :-)

I met interesting people when I was a member of the wine society, too. Oh, and through volunteer work.

Bars? No way.

Posted 3 years ago #
celeste17
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I have done the church scene and I have done the volunteer thing. And I don't like wine.

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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Celeste...I have jokingly said in the past that you can meet a psycho at a church social, just like any place else :)

Posted 3 years ago #
yikes
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I'd love a mixer... if you include those of us that have gained LOTS of wisdom (read 56 yo). I'm also strangely because I have a daughter that is 13, so I really don't get out much! But I've experienced good vibes and real fun on the 'blog'. And if the recent viaduct options become real, we may be marooned together! I am still kinda sorta interested in finding a man, but mostly I'd just love to meet some friends!

Posted 3 years ago #
ellenater
Member Profile

Yea! Maybe you guys could take turns choosing what to do...sort of like when book group members take turns choosing what book to read. Keep us posted!

A lot of you who have posted on here have great comments on this blog. I think you'd have a lot to talk about!

Posted 3 years ago #
Kayleigh2
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Hmm, if I wanted to meet somebody, I'd want to meet somebody who matched me.

I want someone with a spiritual life of some sort, so I would try churches. I want somebody who's at least as fit as I am, so I might try the Mountaineers club, 5K runs, a runner's club, etc. I want somebody who's smart, so I might try book readings, lectures at UW or Town Hall, etc. I want somebody who appreciates art, so I would spend even more time at SAM, the Frye, etc.

(I'm VERY sympathetic; I think meeting and dating are both really hard.)

Posted 3 years ago #
Synergy3k
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I'd be interested in a mixer, definitely. I've been in WS for 6 months and would love to get to know more people. I just have no idea where to start! This post has been helpful. Note to self....drag roomie to Jak's some evening.

Posted 3 years ago #
JanS
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Kayleigh2...I'm sitting here chuckling about your list. Mine? I just want them alive, breathing, and coherent ;-)

Posted 3 years ago #

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