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Meeting people in West Seattle?!

Started 1 year ago by BigPhil
Latest reply from JanS

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BigPhil
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Hey all -- just moved here from Colorado Springs three weeks back and I'm having a tough time meeting people in my age group (18-34, I guess.. I'm 25?).

I've been out and about in town, stopping at the Matador and the Skylark, going to the Junction for grocery shopping, etc., but it's tough to find people who are just hanging out. I'm not looking for life-long friends here, maybe just people who'd like to chat, get drinks, etc.

Likewise, I work in Bellevue during the days and it seems like tons of people in my age group but everyone is busy working. Maybe I just suck at meeting new people in a foreign land ;)

Any tips?

Posted 1 year ago #
lizru
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Hey BigPhil - here are a few thoughts.

I'd think more about meeting some nice folks, rather than focusing on people in your age group. Meet nice people and the right age group thing will sort itself out.

Get busy doing things you like to do. Join a bike group, volunteer doing something you're interested in (music? architecture? politics?).

Focus on things that bring you back in touch over and over again with a great community of people to give yourself time to get to know them.

Do something that will make your already fabulous neighborhood the better for YOU being here. Guaranteed you'll meet some great folks doing that!

Posted 1 year ago #
squareeyes
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Check out Underdog Sports, it's a social sports network. I've signed up for things (bowling, mini-golf) as a single and been placed in teams. It seemed to me the age range skewed 20s-30s. If you have any particular interests, hiking, etc, a friend has had success with seattle.meetup.com.

If you follow a particular college team, find out where those alumni gather to watch games (Rocksport is or was the place for Michigan alumni & friends to gather for football games). You could hang out at the more sportsbar type places. It always appears to me that guys who don't know each other can banter away an entire game at a bar. The back room at Maharajah has multiple big screens. I always talk to people I don't know at Maharajah.

A lot of people find Seattle a tough place to make friends - we're all in our little bubbles and it's hard to break in...or break out. I found that I had to be persistent and be the one to pick up the phone the first several times "hey, let's get a drink". But it worked. Good luck!

Posted 1 year ago #
JanS
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BigPhil...and don't discount meeting people through things like this forum. We have had some meet-ups in the past - spans all age groups, really. And some of us have become extremely good friends. I have a small circle of people who I met through this forum -we had a fundraiser - who are as young as early 20's up to their mid-60's. My daughter, who is 30, has become friends with them, too. So...when we have our next "meetup"..for a Happy Hour, or whatever, we'll have to include you. Ya never know who you might meet !

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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It's called the "Seattle Freeze" Too many passive-aggressive types live here.

article
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/pacificnw/2005/0213/cover.html

Posted 1 year ago #
austin
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In other words, you won't be meeting Jiggers.

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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And then again, maybe you will...:)

Posted 1 year ago #
johnnyblegs
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It really annoys me when people label Seattleites as passive aggressive while most people here are transplants from other places.

Posted 1 year ago #
Que
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@Johnnyblegs TRUE!! And actually, I have found people here to be extremely genuine, friendly and accepting.

But then again, I am a transplant from the East Coast... so my vision of that may be skewed...

BigPhil, I agree with the previous advice of going and doing public things that you enjoy, and you will meet like-minded people. :-) Welcome to Seattle!

Posted 1 year ago #
Kimberley
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I had luck with meetup.com, as well as pursuing a hobby I enjoy (photography) via flickr (there's a local Seattle contingent), as well as watching my favourite sport at the same bar again and again. Maybe suggest a happy hour with coworkers to get the ball rolling.

Posted 1 year ago #
JanS
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oh, good grief...don't listen to jiggers. He's our resident "Debbie Downer" - lol...jiggers...teasing..really...teasing ;-)

Posted 1 year ago #
DOC
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Craigslist can work on the "strictly platonic" section. I agree, it is hard to meet folks. I moved back here from KS about a year ago, and meeting new friends in seattle wasn't easy. I joined a volunteer group and met some good friends through that, met a friend by initially tutoring him on CL, and made friends at work. However, if you live in west seattle and want to go grab a beer, hit me up. Oh, and you may want to try to go to some octoberfest celebrations too. Lots of beer and you can meet some cool people. Also perhaps join a trivia night somewhere one evening and join a random team that needs help? Good luck man.

Posted 1 year ago #
Bonnie
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Have you checked out this meetup group?

http://www.meetup.com/Everything-West-Seattle/

Posted 1 year ago #
mpento
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You have to be miserable about some aspect of your life then you can find a support group. The only support group that never seems to work is the 'tough to find people to hang out with" support group. Either it doesn't work or it does work and nullifies its existence. The other option is to have kids or maybe adopt a puppy for a couple of weeks.

Posted 1 year ago #
HunterG
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I hate to admit it, but Jiggers does have a very valid point. It is pretty tough to go out and "meet" people with potential friend status. Folks in Seattle seem to have their groups, and unless you have something in common with the group's common interest just see yourself as an outsider.

There are tons of groups in Seattle...groups for acting,dogs, singing, rock climbing, duck watching, knitting, drinking, food, art...you name it there is probably a group for it. IMOHP... this just may be the only way to make friends in Seattle anymore, join a group related to your interests.

Posted 1 year ago #
hollyplace
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meetup.com is a good source and most of the groups are free to join. Here is what we post on our meetup group page. It is paraphrased from a couple of other sources, but I think it applies to anyone trying to find a group.

"Breaking into a new group requires tenacity and perseverance. They should be welcoming to all newcomers, but unfortunately, they often are not. Perhaps they are simply not focused on the visitors, or maybe they are just not as welcoming as the newcomer wants, or perhaps their idea of welcoming is different from the newcomer's. In any case, breaking into a new group will take some effort on your part, but if you make the effort, it will be worth it. Fitting in with a group is largely up to the individual.
Go to events every week. Make it a priority. You are likely to be remembered if others see you on a regular basis, and their names and faces will become recognizable to you much sooner. If you start missing event dates here and there, before you know it, you won't be a regular anymore. Groups often evolve over time; if you go regularly, you will be part of those changes.
Arrive early. It is easier for you to start talking with only one or two other adults than it is to approach a group of adults.
Active participation will establish you as part of the group but also as part of the community."

If you don't find a group that interests you, you can always start your own "new to West Seattle".

Welcome to the hood!

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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There's a bigger gay community living here than heterosexual type. It is harder to meet single straight women because it's a convoluted region. Both party's are trying to hit on single women all the time here, so, it's a lot harder for a single male like myself who's not making A $100K a year to hook up and compete with a 30 year old making that in the tech field. I do have standards, so then again, that's my problem when it comes to meeeting straight women here. It is what it is.

The problem with me also is that I don't waste my time with online dating. It is A waste of time. Same thing with blogging. I'm old school and like to meet someone up front. People lie all the time online so, they aren't genuine and possibly very insecure.

Posted 1 year ago #
squareeyes
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Jiggers Jiggers Jiggers...

that's all.

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
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no one will actually want to meet you in this forum..they just want to give you advise. No one here wants socialize in person. I would love to hang out..but I am 38..so I am too old for you. hehe.

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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I'm older than that Alki..:)

Posted 1 year ago #
dawsonct
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Johnnyblegs, I can't tell you how often I need to pull that fact out whenever I hear some transplant say "all Seattleites (whatever broad-brush stereotype you like)."
--
Seriously.
Spend a few weeks asking all your Seattle acquaintances where they were born or grew up. You won't find many natives.
My conclusion is that all the bad behavior (except for the over-the-top politeness and self-sacrifice that some identify as P/A) was brought in by outsiders.

Posted 1 year ago #
squareeyes
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Not true Alki - DOC offered to meet up for a beer. Of course, in true Seattle style s/he left it to Phil to initiate a day/time. Hence my advice above about taking the initiative to get friendships rolling.

Anybody remember when we tried to have a singles meet-up at Maharajah quite awhile back? A lot of initial interest but who showed up? There was me, a couple of my girlfriends, pigeonmom and a girlfriend, so five women...and jiggers.

Posted 1 year ago #
DOC
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Squareeyes, Thanks for pointing out that I would meet for a beer. However, since I did live in KS for 8 years, my style is a bit different. I would be happy to schedule a time, but if you notice, the OP has yet to post anything else on this thread.

Wait, Singles meeting somewhere! I'm in!

Posted 1 year ago #
squareeyes
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Yo, Phil. What do you think so far??

Posted 1 year ago #
WorldCitizen
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For whatever reason it IS hard to meet people in Seattle. Never had as hard a time anywhere else. Don't know why.

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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Here's a theory: I think Seattle is of about 35% transplants, maybe a higher number, I don't really know. In any case, when you're new to an area, your preclevities are going to be not the outgoing type because you just don't know if it may work out for you so, you aren't inclined to want to meet anyone new. Seattle has been A huge place for people to just come and work for however long, then leave. I knew A lot of people who did that here. It is very sad that people love to go to A crowded coffee shop but, you don't hear or see anyone conversing because technology has taken over. If you just come out to fire up your laptop and bury your face in whatever you're doing, why can't you just do that in your apartment? If you don't have any internet connection at home, then I understand. But...

Posted 1 year ago #
B-squared
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Actually, according to census data from 2006, natives are already in the minority. And that figure is for Washington State. I imagine the percent is even smaller for Seattle. Can't believe this has changed drastically in 4 years. As a native, i bristle at those sweeping behavior generalizations as there aren't that many of us out here.

"NATIVITY AND LANGUAGE: Nineteen percent of the people living in Seattle city in 2006 were foreign born. Eighty-one percent was native, including 37 percent who were born in Washington.

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/NPTable?_bm=y&-geo_id=16000US5363000&-qr_name=ACS_2006_EST_G00_NP01&-ds_name=&-redoLog=false

Posted 1 year ago #
JanS
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AlkiCabCompany....a couple of years ago, some of us here on these forums decided to have a fundraiser for the foodbank. We met, planned it, enticed Gary at BPP to let us hold it at the pub on a Sunday afternoon. It was great fun, and we have developed a friendship that I doubt will ever end. I don't see all the people every week, but we talk, we e-mail, we get together for brunches/lunches/Happy Hour, etc. every now and then. We had a meet up not too long ago that we broadcast on here - went to the Heartland, Benbow Room for Happy Hour. So...yes, we do meet occasionally...we do become friends outside of the forum. It just involves making an effort :)

One of these days we'll do it again..and we'll have to invite you !

Posted 1 year ago #
Dr.Moxie
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I'd like to see what would happen when everyone's chupacabras met...

But seriously, I've found it hard, too, to get to know anyone well here since moving to West Seattle a few months ago. It would be fun to get to know people from the westseattleblog forums - for the most part you all seem like a great group!

Posted 1 year ago #
johnnyblegs
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BigPhil - I hate to say it, but if you're looking to meet people in your age group West Seattle isn't the best place. Capital Hill & Fremont are much better neighborhoods for meeting 18 to 24 year olds. West Seattle is IMO full of 35+ married folks like myself.

Posted 1 year ago #
Kimberley
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Maybe the forum needs its own happy hour meet-up, or a dog park meet-up, or a brunch meet-up, or a runners/walkers meet-up...or a chupacabras meet-up.

Posted 1 year ago #
JanS
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Kimberly...good idea !not everyone has a dog, but I bet there are quite a few who would like to have a beer, or other beverage, maybe a little food, and some great conversation. Now...the hard part...time, place, getting people there :) Any ideas? We did one once on a Saturday afternoon at Beveridge Place Pub...lots of room, it's comfortable, it's OK to be non-alcoholic drinking, too.

Posted 1 year ago #
The Velvet Bulldog
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Going to your neighborhood/community council meetings is a good way to meet your neighbors. You may even end up getting involved in more than you ever dreamed of!

Posted 1 year ago #
SarahScoot
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I somewhat disagree with johnnyblegs. Sure, other neighborhoods may have a younger demographic overall, but West Seattle has plenty of young people, too, and what I especially like is it's a more laid-back crowd than on Capitol Hill, Fremont, or Ballard.
My husband and I are 26/27 and have a fair number of friends in W.S. of similar ages.
Plus, BigPhil actually said he's looking for around 18-34, not 24. He should easily be able to find others in that range. I'm not a whole lot of help, unfortunately. I'm a Seattle native and I suck at meeting new people, quite frankly. :-)

Posted 1 year ago #
desertdweller
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@SarahScoot: I don't know, my cat was totally charmed by you! :-)

Posted 1 year ago #
Jasperblu
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Check out West Seattle on Social Media... we meet once a month for our monthly "Tweetup". And you're in luck, b/c it's TONIGHT (Thurs Sept 23) at 5:30pm to 7:30pm at Skylark.

We meet in a different location every month, usually on the 4th Thursday (sometimes national holidays get in the way of that, like in Nov and Dec). If you use Twitter, you can find out the latest/greatest there @WSonSM or find our events posted on WSonSM's Facebook page.

Nice group of people, mostly "professionals" (i.e. working stiffs). Drinking booze is NOT required. Eating, laughing, making new friends is.

Other than that, as a CA transplant, I can attest to the (sometimes) difficult process of making new friends in Seattle (not just West Seattle), but Meetup.com is a great place to start, as is Seattle SMC (Social Media Club), etc.

In any case, WELCOME to West Seattle!!

C ~

Posted 1 year ago #
westcoastdeb
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As a 24 year old newly single transplant to raintown, I am down for a meetup as well! I live a boring life, so almost anything would do for me. Saturday night bowling anyone? I am horrible, but if it means meeting people I will give it a shot!

Posted 1 year ago #
SarahScoot
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@dd: and I by her! Mr. Scoot (yep, that's what we'll call him) and I are still very much interested in a game night. :)
The futon works fabulously in its new home, BTW, and I even bought it some throw pillows.

Posted 1 year ago #
desertdweller
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@BigPhil: What types of hobbies do you have? Seattle is very hobby-focused, so I would suggest you find some like-minded groups and go from there!

@SS: Alrighty ma'am. Mr. Dweller's family was here last weekend, so we're trying to get ourselves together!

Posted 1 year ago #
BigPhil
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Holy frijole! This Forum moves quick.. 38 responses and a whole boatload of good suggestions...

I'm going to try and hit the highlights ;)

-- I took the suggestions to join some Meetup groups - hiking, non-religious groups (and wow, there are a lot.. Refreshingly differently from the crazies in Colorado Springs), "experience Seattle" and s few others. I don't have any particular hobbies those aside except watching crap TV and playing video games. I would like to add water activities to my list since I have never been around so much - kayaking or something!

-- I will check out the Underdog Sports mentioned above, but despite my height (6'6", hence BigPhil) I'm not terribly coordinated - I might get slaughtered out there :)

-- I'm not sure "Seattle Freeze" is apt, if this forum is any indication. And I'm surprised there are so many non-natives

-- Making friends at work is difficult (and what I'm used to) because I work for people in Colorado from here so no one in Bellevue works directly with me.

-- Very cool of you all to volunteer to hang out with me... Maybe I can arrange a west Seattle blog people meet up sometime soon as a good (albeit scary) first step .. And sorry I missed the social media group you mentioned.

Thanks for all the tips!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Cascadianone
Member Profile

BigPhil,

It can be hard to make friends, took me about two years before I was comfortable that my social circle was large enough.

I'd be willing to meet up also. You never know if you'll click with people, but I'm not allergic to strangers or anything. :D

Single, straight, 30, enjoy card games, board games, hiking, camping, competitive pistol, dining out, local bar scene...

May I recommend Beveridge Place Pub for meetup? Super friendly there, imho.

Posted 1 year ago #
luckymom30
Member Profile

Obviously not in, West Seattle but we know of several other people that are members of The Seattle Mountaineers Club that also live in West Seattle. They have tone of outdoor activities from biking, canoeing, skiing, riverrafting, hiking and alot more! And I know they have Singles Nights.

http://www.mountaineers.org/ScriptContent/default.cfm

Posted 1 year ago #
AlkiCabCompany
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oh..I totally didn't realize this was open to Chupacabras. My Chupy is 21 years old. So he is able to hang out if you would like. He is loads of fun and has special skills that you will find amazing and appalling at the same time. But you will warm up to him like everyone does. And the more drinks you buy him ..the more fun you will have. So text me at 34224 if you wanna meet up with him.

Also, I like the last post about meeting up doing an outdoor activity instead of meeting up at a bar or restaurant. I wanna meet peeps and not get fat doing it. So awesome idea. thanks.

Posted 1 year ago #
barryleaf
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fremont and ballard are the best spots for your age group, its always alive down there and theres a great mix of people

Posted 1 year ago #
Jiggers
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I concur with post #44.

Posted 1 year ago #
happy hour
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I believe people are fairly shy here than anything else. You need to be willing to speak the 1st words.
And I find that most people I speak with are thrilled regardless of age, sex , single , couple, etc its just breaking the ice. Its about 'community'. You will find it more enjoyable with this approach! I enjoy happy hours its true, and also believe every hour is an opportunity.
In my younger days I found 'Paragon'on Queen Anne to be a great place to be. Everyone came from different neighborhoods.
Bellevue has great after work places too.
On Alki I find Dukes and Cactus to be the friendliest just be willing to smile and have a something-something to say or ask. Go with your intuition.
The people that may 'appear' to be stand-off-ish, really are not. If you approach a group that looks fun, that's the 1st step. If they don't respond - move on. Introducing yourself to neighbors is fabulous!!!! I wish you luck. So many people are in the same boat, I hear it all the time and have for years. Breathe and be brave, there are a lot of good souls out and about.

Posted 1 year ago #
happy hour
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Does anyone have experience with 'Events and Adventures' I see their ads and looks great

Posted 1 year ago #
BigPhil
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@the bar at the Skylark, black shirt with red undershirt if anyone finds themselves happening by in the next couple hours .. just sayin'...

Posted 1 year ago #
JanS
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happy hour...somewhere in the back of my mind I remember lawsuits against Events and Adventures, although I can't find any info about it. May be my imagination. But...here's some Yelp reviews:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/events-and-adventures-bellevue

Posted 1 year ago #
texas
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dodge ball at Cal Anderson park on Capitol Hill Tuesdays and Fridays 8:30 pm, you are bound to meet people, and have a lot of fun in the process.

Posted 1 year ago #