Reader report: Mom says thanks for stranger’s help in incident that turned out not to be what was feared

What turned out to be a misunderstanding on Thursday nonetheless has resulted in a local mom wanting to issue a public word of thanks, and the incident, though not what was feared, also is a good reminder of safety rules for kids.

Yesterday afternoon as my 10-year-old son was walking home from an after-school activity, he had an encounter at 42nd & Dakota with a stranger that “gave him a weird feeling.” He started running home and a passerby in a car asked him if that stranger was bothering him. He said yes and the driver called 911. My son was just about 8 houses from home. The police knocked on our door about an hour after the incident. They said the caller didn’t have our address but did give them the location and a description of the house, so the officer was able to follow up with us. They did locate the stranger and asked him about the incident. He told them he was just asking my son if he wanted to play catch. The officer praised my son for knowing not to talk to strangers and gave us the case number for the incident.

The mom wanted to thank the person who called 911, which enabled police to respond and investigate quickly: “We are so grateful this person was passing by when they did and that they took action, and we want to express our gratitude.” According to the police report, which we subsequently obtained, there was NO indication a crime was committed, and the man had no record – the man told them he had been walking back to his car from a nearby bank, when he saw the boy walk by holding a ball, and he asked the boy to kick the ball toward him. The police report says officers later found out the boy didn’t hear what the man said to him because he was wearing an earbud/earpiece. He headed home while the passerby was still talking with the man, who subsequently headed in a different direction; police caught up with him about a mile away. Though this incident turned out not to be what the passerby feared, it’s still a reminder to make sure your kids know how to stay safe; here’s advice from SPD.

33 Replies to "Reader report: Mom says thanks for stranger's help in incident that turned out not to be what was feared"

  • RarelyEver October 16, 2015 (2:04 pm)

    This makes me so sad. I understand the importance of teaching kids the “stranger-danger” principle, but it also shuts down any kind of potentially beneficial human connection. Our society will always be the poorer for it.

  • Diane October 16, 2015 (2:16 pm)

    completely agree with RarelyEver; this extreme level of paranoia, especially towards men talking to children, is over the top, and causes well-meaning males from interacting with children; how can we expect men to be good dads if we question any time they talk to a child in public? and it’s been well documented that most bad behavior towards children is with a person they are very familiar (family/friend), not a stranger on the street just asking to kick a ball

  • sure thing October 16, 2015 (2:17 pm)

    Uh. I think no ear buds for 10 year olds walking down the street is a good place to start.

  • Brian October 16, 2015 (2:34 pm)

    It’s great that we’re training our children to run in fear when an adult male who isn’t their dad talks to them. Makes me really want to be part of the community when everyone looks at me as a potential child rapist.

  • WSMom October 16, 2015 (2:55 pm)

    Well, I guess it’s good to be on the safe side but I believe calling 911 just because someone talks to a 10 year old kid is a bit over the top. Why was he walking home by himself?

  • HappyOnAlki October 16, 2015 (3:00 pm)

    If it gave the kid “a weird feeling,” he was right to run home. Kids certainly don’t have to be paranoid, but paying attention to “weird” feelings is part of staying safe in the world, no matter how old you are.

  • Rick October 16, 2015 (3:03 pm)

    I walk quite a bit in Morgan Junction area but will only say hello or talk to a child if my 10yo granddaughter is with me. Sad

  • aa October 16, 2015 (3:03 pm)

    Years ago I heard someone say that rather than telling kids to beware of strangers, they should beware of strangeness. Because I think the majority of bad things that happen to us at the hands of another person, be it molestation or rape, is usually by someone we know. So teach our kids to trust when someone feels strange or makes them uncomfortable be it a stranger or someone familiar.

  • me October 16, 2015 (3:09 pm)

    Remove the ear plugs. This was a problem in down town last night with a women jogger

  • Someguy October 16, 2015 (4:15 pm)

    Agree with “sure thing”, no ear buds. Situational awareness requires all senses. Glad to hear it turned out okay.

  • Seattlite October 16, 2015 (4:55 pm)

    The young boy did exactly what he should do…never trust or talk to strangers. I think it is strange and weird that a total adult male stranger would ask the kid to play catch. So happy a good samaritan was around to call 911.

  • newnative October 16, 2015 (6:00 pm)

    I refused to teach my son stranger danger. Self-inflicted disabilities aside (ear buds), it sounds like a misunderstanding.

  • NW October 16, 2015 (6:28 pm)

    Better to be safe than sorry for an adult stranger to talk with a young boy of ten in this day an age one on one “wanna play catch” you won’t find this adult male doing so. At the same time our fear level in situations like this or similar is way off balance, don’t always buy into the bs between your ears.

  • Me October 16, 2015 (6:44 pm)

    I am that good Samaritan. When I was leaving my sons doctor appointment, we went down backstreet to avoid California, from down block I witnessed a man approach a boy and the boy ran. In my eyes something wasnt right. And when the man couldn’t tell me what he said to the boy that was red flag, and he pulled right off when approached. Long story short,id rather have a misunderstanding that gets cleared up, then have it be something and someones child suffers for it. As we all know there are sick ppl out in this world and west seattle has seen its fair share of these creeps around here. Besides what grown man asks a random child to play catch with him. Ever here of “grooming”? Better to say something in a situation like that. Plus the kid was looking terrified. I would hope if someone saw this same situation and my son was involved they would do same. Google the statistics of children kidnapped that are recovered. Not that good. Im watching out for my kids and everyone else’s. Period. Pedophiles beware.

  • Momx3 October 16, 2015 (7:19 pm)

    There is no good reason for some random guy walking down a street to ask a little kid who is alone to kick a ball, catch a ball, etc. I’d have stopped and asked if all was well too.

  • Curate October 16, 2015 (9:09 pm)

    I’m sorry, I agree with all of the others who’ve asked ‘what grown man asks a child he doesn’t know to play catch’?? I think that’s weird. Period.

  • Kimmy October 16, 2015 (10:35 pm)

    Bingo, RarelyEver. We’re a paranoid society in which adults, mostly men, cannot talk to children without creating suspicion. It’s not illegal for someone to speak to a child in public in a legal, non-threatening manner, and it doesn’t automatically mean it’s grooming behavior. The paranoia and judgement is out of control, especially when it comes to strangers.
    .
    The good news is, there are still parents who teach their children how to handle uncomfortable situations AND allow them to walk to/from activities independently. Good work, mom :-)

  • m October 16, 2015 (11:35 pm)

    Very strange for a man to ask a child he doesn’t know to “play catch” while passing by on the sidewalk. I would have gotten a “weird feeling,” too. This boy did everything right. As did the man who called 911.

  • Diane October 17, 2015 (12:08 am)

    agree with Kimmy; what I find strange & offensive are the prejudiced comments here disparaging men for simply talking to a child
    *
    and agree, biggest safety hazard in this whole thing was child walking home alone with ear buds in

  • Dr. Bob October 17, 2015 (1:10 am)

    And yet parents will stand in front of grocery stores with their kids and ask perfect strangers for money via cookie or candy sales.

    Interesting contradictions.

  • Eric October 17, 2015 (4:49 am)

    Wow, pretty naive of some people to think teaching their children about safety and talking to strangers is paranoid. Children don’t have the same ability to judge situations-context-character as adults usually have. They are also more naturally trusting. Teaching a child that when they are alone and are approached by a stranger to set boundaries is not paranoid. It’s hopefully common sense.

    Look at the context in this scenario. Child is minding his own business. A man supposedly coming from a bank (where’s this nearby bank located?) and even though this child is making no indication to engage this stranger and obviously has earphones in (which is an indication that the child is not looking to start a conversation with a stranger), the stranger then supposedly asks the kid to kick him the ball or play catch. What grown man randomly asks a kid to do this? In the context of this situation, this is suspect behavior. The kid also felt it. The guy who intervened also saw red flags go up when speaking with the guy and the guy immediately taking off.

    To me, it’s not about being paranoid, but being safe. It’s also not about just not talking to strangers, but understanding context, situations, environment, etc. in which it is ok to engage with a stranger or not.

  • steve October 17, 2015 (8:25 am)

    Yes to RareEver’s sentiments.

  • colleen October 17, 2015 (1:20 pm)

    I am somewhat alarmed at the folks claiming that the adult male who approached a child in this manner was acting appropriately. He most certainly was not. The child behaved in an entirely appropriate manner, kudos to his parents. There was nothing “paranoid” or overly protective at all. Paranoia is a reaction to an unreasonable fear.

  • ACG October 17, 2015 (1:32 pm)

    Me, thank you for looking out for that boy. I think you did the right thing. If it was a misunderstanding, fine, so be it- and it will sort itself out. But, if it WASN’T- well, I shudder to think of the outcome. Thank you for trying to keep our neighborhood and our children safe.

  • Mike October 17, 2015 (4:28 pm)

    This young boy did exactly what he should have done. I am very surprised with the people who do not find this to be odd behavior by the adult. This very easily could have been grooming behavior or an attempt to get the boy close enough to him to grab him. The fact that he was unable to explain to the passerby what he said to the 10 year old is very suspicious. Having been a former prosecutor I am very aware of the statistics that most molestation occurs by family members or family friends, but there is that certain percentage that is committed by strangers and they usually begin through acts such as what happened in this incident. Please please please teach your kids to politely say hello, but to never interact beyond that with strangers. Especially never help adults with directions or find “lost” pets. If an adult asks for help with those two things tell your child to always say “pleas ask an adult for help.”.

    You may feel sad that this is what society has come too, but we do not live in small town in the 1950’s.

  • Beth October 17, 2015 (4:55 pm)

    I’m sorry, but a grown 40yo man asking a 10 boy walking down the street, who was a stranger to him, if he wanted to play catch, has creep factor all over it! Get real people!

  • Alan October 18, 2015 (12:13 am)

    @Dr. Bob (if in fact there is any chance you are a doctor) – How is not wanting adults to approach your children when the parents are not present a contradiction to wanting them to buy their child’s over-priced girl scout cookies when they are present?

    If you don’t want to buy their stuff, just say “no, thank you”. There is no need to suggest that they are sending mixed messages in order to get out of it.

  • Kimmy October 18, 2015 (9:27 am)

    Eric, to answer your question, there is a bank a block/block and a half away at California and Dakota. Washington Federal.

  • Eric October 18, 2015 (9:52 am)

    I agree with Alan

  • Lola October 18, 2015 (6:37 pm)

    I agree that it is weird that a total stranger would ask a kid to play catch with him. You never know just because he does not have a record does not mean that he might not have tried something with this kid. Good for the adult who called 911 for him.

  • Brian October 19, 2015 (9:56 am)

    So based on the bulk of these comments, you guys just think every man who tries to talk to anyone is probably trying to rape them or put himself in an advantageous position so that abduction is more opportune (After the abduction? Well, naturally that dude is going to rape.)

  • Alan October 19, 2015 (3:44 pm)

    @Brian – According to “me”, the man was not able to tell her what he had said to the boy, so he came up with the “catch” excuse later. That is suspicious.

    It is unfortunate, but it is not appropriate for an adult (male of female) to approach a child they do not know, unless there is a responsible (for the child) adult present. Smiling and saying “hi” as you walk by is not the same as asking them to play catch, help you find your puppy, etc.

    So, no I do not think every person that violates this “rule” is doing so with bad intent, but I think everyone with bad intent will violate it.

  • Eric October 19, 2015 (7:08 pm)

    Brian, what are you trying to defend? Read the context of this blog, read the good Samaritan‘s account of what happened, before you get all hyperbole about it

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